FAD2230 Exam 2 Study Guide Chapter 7 Building Relationships in a Changing World Expectations Percentage Never Married versus Percentage Single Ages 15 85 2008 o Never married and single aren t the same thing Young people are most likely to have never been married and to be currently single whereas older people may have married in the past but are often single due to widowhood Being Single Types of Single o Single a person who has never been married is divorced or is widowed There is a difference between being single by choice or because of circumstances o Voluntary Temporary Singles unmarried adults who may be delaying marriage while pursuing education or establishing a career o Voluntary Stable Singles unmarried adults desiring a single unmarried lifestyle o Involuntary Temporary Singles singles actively searching for a mate but unable to find a o Involuntary Stable Singles unmarried adults who can expect to be single for life even though suitable one they may not want to be Friendships o Friendships provide valuable support while single and partnered Having close friends are proven to help you live longer o Female friendships more intimate relationship focused o Male friendships less intimate actively focused o Cross sex friendships more common today than in past generations can be complicated with tensions Evolution of Dating o Calling young man visiting in a woman s home o Dating occur in social settings outside of the home can occur in pairs or in groups In colonial times people dated with the family there During industrial revolution people met up usually with friends o Cohabitating committed couples who are living together but aren t married Who Do We Date 1 o Homogamy people who are similar on characteristics such as ethnicity social class values o Propinquity geographic closeness o Pool of eligible the pool of people from which we are able to choose mates Cohabitation o Cohabitation living with a romantic partner without being married Became much higher in the past 50 years gradual dramatic increase since the 60 s Who s more likely to cohabitate Younger have less education have lower incomes are less likely to have children in the house 3x likely to have a female partner 6 or more years older than the male and is more educated and 2x more likely to be interracial Views on Cohabitation o It s a sin o It makes financial and logistical sense o We are getting married in a few months o An alternative to marriage o A testing ground for marriage Cohabitation o Cohabitation is linked to Relationships that do not last very long 2 3 of marriages begin with cohabitation of cohabitated relationships don t end in marriage More likely to have unhappy marriages More likely to divorce o Reasons for Divorce cohabitation Selection Effect characteristics of the person are more important than actual Who we choose is more important than living with someone Find someone who will make you happy not who you can just stand to live with Experience Effect the experience of one or more cohabitations is important May not be the same as a marriage not sharing finances etc so expectations change when you get married because you don t put your all into cohabitation Homosexual Relationships friend support o Homosexual couples and Heterosexual couples are more alike than different o Homosexual couples receive less family support than heterosexual couples but received more o Lesbian couples usually have the most equal relationships sharing of household labor power in the relationship and least sexualized relationships out of all homosexual and heterosexual couple types Expectations o Most issues that come up in relationships have something to do with expectations Having no low expectations or having too high expectations o Often we don t know or communicate our expectations until they ve been violated 2 Ex partner says we re going on a date You get ready for a fancy dinner He shows up in a t shirt ready to go to a bar You may get in a fight because you expected a real date but he wanted a casual date Problems with Expectations o Expectations are problems when Unaware Unreasonable Unspoken Conflict about Expectations o Event tip of the iceberg o Have to be aware of everything under the water Man has expectations that the woman does chores woman expects the man to help out Common Expectation Clashes o Men s vs women s roles o Contact with previous partners o Money o Standards of cleanliness o Time spend together Ex opening a joint bank account after getting married One partner may want space the other may want to spend more time together Are they Realistic o Are your expectations realistic How do you know this What if you believe your expectation is realistic and your partner doesn t Do you have a bottom line deal breaker o If expectation IS valid but has been violated then approach your partner in such a manner I would really appreciate it if you would or I would really prefer that you Common Unrealistic Expectations o Mindreading is expected o Disagreement is destructive having a fight is bad for the relationship o Sexual perfectionism 3 o Partners relationships can t change if the relationship is on a downslope you think it won t get better o Sexes are different Just remember we re different so don t have crazy expectations Common Realistic Expectations o Loyalty fidelity o Trust honesty o Good communication o Conflict in relationship o Safety emotional psychological physical Summary Deal with Expectations o Are you aware of them o Are they reasonable o Have you spoken to your partner about them o Are both of you willing to meet the other person s most important and reasonable expectations Important to know that we can t meet all expectations at least try to meet them 4 Chapter 7 Voluntary Temporary Singles unmarried adults who may be delaying marriage while pursuing education or establishing a career Voluntary Stable Singles unmarried adults desiring a single lifestyle Percentage never married versus percentage single ages 15 to 85 o Young people are most likely to have never married and to be currently single whereas older people may have married in the past but are often single as a result of widowhood o Single decreases until 35 then increases at 75 o Never married gradually decreases Involuntary Temporary Singles singles actively searching for a mate but unable to find a suitable one Involuntary Stable Singles unmarried adults who can expect to be single for life even though they may not want to
View Full Document
Unlocking...