Choosing a Marriage Partner and the First years Chapter 6 of Marriage Mate Selection and Marital Stability Marriage is a major life course decision People look for In a spouse socially responsible respectful and emotionally supportive mate who demonstrates good communication and problem solving skills and who is committed both to the relationship and to the value of marriage itself Marital Stability whether spouses remain married or divorce Depends on how satisfied the spouses are with their marriage Partners interact with one another as well as on the perceived social support Depends on beliefs and attitudes about the partner or relationship Choosing a mate is integrated into society by means of school employment a network of friends and or family ties and who demonstrates a sense of self worth supportive communication and problem solving Attachment Theory Infancy and childhood develop a general style of attaching to others Trust their needs will be met form a secure attachment inclined to trust that their relationships will provide emotional support available at times of need as a trustworthy they are better marriage prospects Insecure Anxious feel abandoned adults worry that their love will leave betray or seriously disappoint them marry someone with secure attachment may gradually feel more secure Avoidant adults dunk or evade emotional closeness Age at marriage and Marital Stability Over 25 are happier than those who are younger and married Low SES origins premarital pregnancy lack of interest in school and economic struggles are associated with marrying early Marrying young are emotionally immature and impulsive as well as less apt to be educationally financially or psychologically prepared to responsibly select a mate or perform marital roles The Intergenerational Transmission of Divorce Risk Not all children of divorced parents will themselves divorce Parental divorce increases the risk of marital instability in offspring The probability of their own divorce is still higher Children of divorce are less likely to develop a secure attachment style Intergenerational transmission of divorce a divorced parental family transmits to its children a heightened risk of getting divorced 1 More and more serious personality problems 2 Neither been exposed to nor learned supportive communication and problem solving skills 3 Less commitment to the relationship 4 More accepting attitudes toward divorce Mate Selection Risk Individuals from divorced families are more inclined to have the characteristics described earlier and to choose partners who have them Mate Selection Risk youths from divorced families were more likely to select high risk partners who were also from divorced families and who were impulsive socially irresponsible and had a history of antisocial behaviors such as alcohol and drug abuse minor misdemeanors troubles with the law problems in school and at work fighting and an unstable job history Minimizing Mate Selection Risk First step is to let go of misconceptions we might have about love and choosing a partner Requires both partners willingness and ability to do so Marriages built on respect mutual support and affirmation of each others worth are more likely to survive The Marriage Market Marriage Market armed with resources their or their children s in the case of arranged marriages personal and social characteristics and then they bargain for the best buy that they can get Arranged and Free Choice Marriages Arranged marriage future spouses can be brought together in various ways Mostly in parts of Asia and Africa that are less westernized parents have traditionally arranged their children s marriages Both parents worked on the details and then announced the upcoming marriage to their children They may have had little or no say in the matter and they may not have met the partner before the wedding Today it is more common for the children to marry only when they themselves accept the partner assisted marriages like in Muslim groups or recent immigrants to the US doesn t mean that love is ignored by parents it may be highly valued Loving relationship after the marriage not before Less and less common especially among the more highly educated Free Choice Culture United States people choose their own mates although typically they seek parents and other family members support for their decision Cross National Marriage either the future spouse comes to the US to marry the young person or the young person travels to the home country for the wedding ceremony after which the newlyweds usually live in the US Not only have to adjust to marriage but a entirely new culture Required visa for spouses made it harder for them to come prior to sept 11 Choosing a martial partner as taking the place in marriage market Determining the social status or position health temperament and physical attractiveness of their prospective son or daughter in law Professional matchmakers might help Bride Price Hmong culture the exchange money or property that the future groom pays the future brides family so that he can marry her Dowry sum on money or property brought to the marriage by the female To marry into a higher ranking family means more money Make up for qualities considered undesirable Bargaining is obvious The Marital Exchange Exchange theory ideas of bargaining market and resources used to describe relationships such as marriage Rewards and costs they provide to the partners Maximize their rewards and avoid costs most rewarding and least costly Physical attractiveness intelligence education earning potential personality characteristics family status the ability to be emotionally supportive The Traditional Exchange Women have traded their ability to bear and raise children coupled with domestic duties sexual accessibility and physical attractiveness for a mans protection status and economic support Men are more likely to advertize for a physically attractive woman women for a economically stable man Men without stable or promising work have disadvantages Probability a mans getting married depends on his earning power Bargaining in a Changing Society Increased the importance that they put on financial success in a mate while domestic skills in a future wide have declined in importance Woman s high SES increases her sexiness Gender roles become more alike expressive affective sexual and companionship resources for both partners More egalitarian College educated women and men tend to marry
View Full Document
Unlocking...