EXAM 2 Chapters 7 12 Chapter 7 Building Relationships Purpose of Friendship o Give support They are there for us when we need their comfort on a bad day they give us advice o Teach us about ourselves and others They help us figure out who we are because we feel like we can How to interact with other people and how they will react be the real us around them depending on our actions They give you that extra push to pick yourself back up o Live longer o Better health o Enhance self esteem Friendships o Men and women Both have the same number of friends o Different types of connections with their friends Men Not as much emotion behind it Focus on activity Women Much more verbal and self disclosing o More intimate more secrets They want mutual love and respect Cross Sex Friendships o Can men and women be just friends You tube video interviewing at a school library All of the girls said yes and all of the guys said no and then the girls realized all their guy friends want it o Just Friends Harvey 2003 A diary with open ended questions asking about the friendship 65 received mixed messages about attraction o Most showed they were by their writings but were in denial that they were doing this 47 were initially attracted friend was not they struggled to remain friends 32 reported the friend was attracted to them 30 don t discuss romantic feelings because it causes discomfort in the relationship 26 included some romantic sexual behavior o extension of friendship 9 had been romantically involved and now they are struggling to be friends Why date o Desire for marriage family mate selection You re trying to find someone who can fit this potential o Desire for intimacy is a common thread It is very good for physical and mental health o Cause it s fun o Social status o Expectations of others Your family and friends can be seen to push that on you How do you define the terms associated with dating o A SHARED MEANING is needed for all these terms Symbolic Theory Hooking up dating talking hanging out etc Where do you start o Pool of eligible The group of individuals who by virtue of background or birth are considered most likely to make compatible marriage partners Ex The Bachelor The Bachelorette Dating Macro Level Influences o Pool of eligible is different based on Class Ethnicity o Dating scripts Expectation of your behavior when you re dating They are pretty traditional and impacted by our society For a woman You wait for him to text you first Go to the bathroom and fix your makeup Go home and talk about it with your girls For a man You need to make the first move You should pay for the date Buy the ring and propose Dating Micro Level Influences o Who do we date People like us Homogamous relationships usually due to propinquity geographic closeness Homogamy marriage between individuals who are in some culturally important way similar to each other Socioeconomic status class gender ethnicity religion Ex Tinder Pool of eligible how big is your pool If it is too small you might go outside of it Ex men die earlier than woman do so if you are an older woman you might have to date a younger man Assortive Mating for marriage o We are willing to date more people and we consider a lot less people You take all of those traits you want don t want rewards and costs that you use when you consider dating someone and put them into a funnel The bottom opening of the funnel is much smaller and filters all these things when you are considering someone for marriage Social Exchange Theory o Comparison Level CL Comparison of your current partner to what you believe you Your current partner is generous boring o 1 cost and 1 reward 0 profit You deserve someone who is generous and funny o Comparison Level of Alternatives CL o 2 rewards 2 profit Comparison of your current partner to another potential deserve partner Your partner with the 0 profit vs this guy John that you o Principle of least interest meet with a profit of 3 The person with least interest in the relationship has the most power because they have less to lose How has dating changed o Colonial times Courtship family centered process Dating was referred to as has come calling You do not date outside of the house always supervision Men had all the power in the relationship o Industrialization Emergence of dating adolescence Moved away from the family and more to peer relationships Women were responsible for the sexual activity control it o Today How would you describe dating today Hooking up Hook up culture o They wanted to do a study so they came up with a definition An event in which 2 people are physically intimate outside a committed relationship without the expectation of future encounters o They used college students in this FAD class Around half never did it and the other half was split between 1 or 2 times or 3 or more times o No differences in rate of hooking up for Guys or girls Different religious groups Family environment o More likely to do it if you White Caucasian Report higher parental income Use more alcohol Have more favorable attitudes towards hooking up o Women are more likely to have a negative reaction to hooking up Women they feel more guilty or bad about themselves which hinders their well being Men had more of a positive reaction to it because guys don t ever really get heat for this type of thing Double standard in society 7 15 15 CHAPTER 7 Post Sexual Revolution Cohabitation o Girls can have sex and like it too o Cohabitation began growing and growing because of this Cohabitation Skyrockets in 2008 o What does it mean to cohabit Staying with your boyfriend a lot Actually having a lease together People who are more often then not living together The definition is fuzzy People who are married aren t considered to be cohabitating it is a different type of relationship This is a term for those who are not married but are o Why do people cohabit still living together It is cheaper It is seen as a test step towards marriage They do it to postpone marriage They don t want to get married Living together is fine o Who cohabitates Everyone o Who tends to do it more If I move in with you this can be something to distract from that topic People who were younger People who are politically liberal People who have less money o Is cohabitation a good test for marriage Cohabitating relationships do not last very long Because a lot of younger people do it Most end because of marriage People who cohabitate are MORE likely to have an unhappy
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