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Building Relationships 03 17 2015 Singlehood Voluntary temporary singles Pg 113 unmarried adults who may be delaying marriage while pursuing an education or establishing a career o Plan on getting married later but choosing to be single now Voluntary stable singles Pg 113 Unmarried adults desiring a single unmarried lifestyle o Oprah doesn t mean that you don t have a partner you may be cohabitation you just choose not to get married Involuntary temporary singles Pg 114 singles actively searching for a mate but unable to find a suitable one o You don t want to be single right now but you cant find anyone at the moment who fits what you desire Involuntary stable singles Pg 114 unmarried adults who can expect to be single for life even though they may not want to be o If it s against your religion to marry a man who has been divorced later that reduces your options Friendships and SES Working class friendships o Tend to have friendships that last longer than middle class o Tend to live in the same area where they grew up so the longevity of the friendships make them more intimate in turn making them stronger o There s more crises than in middle class and they last longer intimacy in friendships can come from sharing problems Working class and racial differences o Blacks and Hispanics establish friendships and maintain them for longer periods of time o Working class black men experience greater isolation than upwardly mobile black men so they don t have the same taboo s against same sex friendship Working class black men express greater sentiments of their close friendships and have higher quality and quantity of friendships than upwardly mobile black men Dating Courtship and Mate Selection Industrialization consumerism and the emergence of dating o Cash flow cars places to go out and do things dance halls changed the way that dating happens o Principle of least interest Pg 119 the idea that unequal emotional involvement between romantic partners had implications for the quality and stability of friendships Gender and dating traditional ways o Dating has become more informal but we still behave in o Dating scripts Pg 120 set of expectations around dating that differ somewhat for men and women Women get asked on a date buy a new outfit wait for the date to arrive eat lightly on the date primp in the bathroom call a friend after the date to discuss it Men ask a woman on a date prepare the car having money for the date plan the date pick up the date open the doors for the woman pay the bill and walk her to door at home o Cross Sex Friendships Pg 116 friendship between a man and a woman that s strictly platonic Increase in acceptance of this because of the increasing opportunities for men and women to meet and interact at a social level work place schools community etc Can provide valuable insight into how the other sex thinks and feels Research shows that most cross sex friendships do have to address the problem of sexuality in their relationship at some point Differences in social class race ethnicity and sexual identity setting Who do we date o Upper class members control dating to their place Individuals from upper class tend to date individuals who are also upper class have access to the same private schools and clubs etc o Subcultures within different races and ethnicities Quinceanera a Hispanic women can begin dating after her 15th birthday o LGBT Stigma associated with being LGBT though it is decreasing Difficult to recognize someone who is LGBT in a general o Homogamous relationships Pg 123 relationships in which we spend most of our time with people who are very similar to ourselves partners in relationships tend to be similar in regards to race ethnicity social class education age and religion one reason for this is propinquity Pg 124 geographic closeness with we tend to date marry people that we interact second reason parental pressure to marry within our race ethnicity social class etc pool of eligibles Pg 124 group from which we are likely to choose our mates some people marry outside their demographic because they feel that their pool of eligibiles is limited Heterosexual Cohabitation Increasing in acceptance of opposite sex cohabitation Cohabitation Pg 126 living with your romantic and sexual partner without being married Cohabitation and Marriage o Older cohabitates view their relationship as an alternative to married younger view it as a stepping stone to marriage o Cohabitation actually reduces the chance of a satisfying marriage and increases the likelihood of divorce o Cohabitation and divorce Selection effect Pg 131 explanation for the face that people who cohabitate tend to be the same ones who later divorce Someone who believes in cohabitation and also believes in divorce The relationship may be spurious Pg 131 when a relationship between two variables is actually caused by a third variable Love and Loving Relationships 03 17 2015 Love as Attachment Attachment theory Pg 141 Theory postulating that the way in which infants for attachments early in life effects relationships throughout later life Attachment in children o Secure attachment Pg 142 an attachment type where infants feel safe when their mother is out of sight Parents can go in another room and they can hear them talking and the baby is fine They ve developed an internalized other females internalize mom and males internalize dad o Anxious ambivalent attachment Pg 142 an attachment type where infants become nervous when their parent leaves the room and can show rejection when they return These baby s cling to their parents resisting the separation and then hold onto the anger and ice their parents out when they return Develops when parents aren t always there for their child the baby tries to get their attention and when they are unsuccessful they feel rejected o Avoidant attachment Pg 142 an attachment type where infants show little attachment to their primary parents Parents reject the child from the beginning so they never form an attachment These are often babies with neglecting and or abusive mothers Adult romantic attachments o Infants form a working model a mental representation of their caregiver that influences our adult relationships and friendships o Adult relationships have three kinds of bonds Secure these people really do connect and attach healthily I find it relatively easy to get close to others I am usually comfortable depending on others and having them depend on me I generally don t


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FSU FAD 2230 - Building Relationships

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