FAD 2230 Test 2 Test Monday March 2nd 01 30 2015 Chapter 8 Love and Loving Relationships What is love Love a strong affection for one another arising out of kinship or personal ties attraction based on sexual desire and affection based on admiration benevolence or common interests o Basis of love forms out of attachment Love as Attachment Attachment Theory A theory postulating that the way in which infants form attachments early in life will affect relationships throughout later life Attachment in Children o Secure Attachment An attachment type where infants feels safe when their mothers are out of sight Mom will be available when you need her Doesn t mean children don t cry when she leaves they cry but can calm themselves or another person in the room can soothe them o Anxious Ambivalent Attachment The attachment type where infants become nervous when their parent leaves the room and can show rejection when the parent returns The mother comes back into the room the baby shrugs her off o Avoidant Attachment An attachment type where infants show little attachment to their primary parent Parent leaves the child doesn t care Mother comes back child doesn t care Adult Romantic Attachments o Adult romantic relationships correspond to the infant attachments Secure Attachments Most people fall into this category This person is comfortable depending on others and does not worry about being abandoned Anxious ambivalent attachments These people need a lot more assurance than others Need to be reminded that the relationship is okay you love them on a regular basis Avoidant attachments These individuals have built a wall that is hard to breach by the other partner Probably not share feelings easily People who have been cheated on or had previous relationship experiences of traumatic stature Images of Love in History marriage Ancient Greek and Roman Mythology did not associate love with o No need to clump them together Early Christianity did not associate love with marriage o People married for practical and economical reasons 12th century during the Middle Ages there were some precursors to our notion of love o Saw images of courtly love o Women started to become more idealized the chivalry knight on white horse Top 12 Features of Love Trust Care Honesty Friendship Respect Desire to promote the well being of the other Loyalty Commitment Accepting the other without wanting to change the other Support Desire to be in the other s company Consideration of and interest in the other Contemporary Ideas About Love Romance Romance and more Romance o Romantic Love A type of love that is characterized by passion melodrama and excitement and which receives a lot of media attention o Companionate Love A type of love that grows over time based on strong commitment friendship and trust So much more powerful than romantic love This is what gets you through the blood sweat and tears Theoretical perspectives on Love Biological and Chemical Perspectives on Love o Sociobiology An evolutionary theory that all humans have an instinctive impulse to pass on their genetic material Men have an instinctive impulse to breed as much as possible and women have an instinctive impulse to care for their young If a man cheats the woman is far more likely to forgive and DEFINITELY NOT vice versa Biochemical Approaches to Love o Biochemical Approaches to Love Theories that suggest humans are attracted to certain types of people at which point the brain releases natural chemicals that give us a rush we experience as sexual attraction Theoretical Perspectives on Love Micro level perspectives on Love o Sternberg s Theory of Love Love has 3 elements intimacy passion and commitment Passion is the most intense of the 3 components o John Lee s Styles of Love a categorization of 6 types of love that describe how couples are attracted to one another Eros Passionate strong physical attraction Storge Companionate mutual love respect trust Pragma Practical sensible Ludus Playful carefree casual Agape Altruistic kind patient Mania Obsessive possessive intense Iris Reiss described love as an ongoing process that unfolds in four stages Similar to a rolling wheel the stages may be experienced many times going frontward and backward Rapport talking about the good and bad things that happen Self revelation you learn different things about yourself as you Constantly talking grow through experiences Mutual dependency you count on each other Personality need fulfillment partners will confide in each other make mutual decisions and support each other s ambitions Macro Level perspectives on love Controlling the development of love A macro level perspective on love suggesting that all societies control or channel love o A modern day example India Arranged marriages are common How do we Experience Love Sex Gender and Love o Men are more likely than women to be in or looking for committed relationships o Men report falling in love sooner and with more people than women do o Men are more preoccupied with love than women Unrequited Love When one person s feelings are not reciprocated by the other person in the relationship o Men are more likely to experience this than women The Downside to Relationships and Love Jealousy o Can be rational or irrational Rational boyfriend comes over to visit and has someone else s lipstick mark on his cheek You have a reason to be jealous Irrational walking out of class and see your boyfriend is talking to another girl If irrational can come about from our own insecurities o Men are more likely to deny their jealous feelings women are more likely to acknowledge them while o Men are also more likely to express anger rather than jealousy Controlling Behavior o Can get dangerous from abuse quickly Stalking Conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to be fearful Every state has stalking laws Stalking cases have gone up dramatically recently Cyberstalking or electronic monitoring Stalking contact using electronic technology Breaking Up is Hard to Do o A lot of break ups occur and aren t face to face trying to o Breaking up is influenced by a host of macro level and micro avoid confrontation level factors BOOK NOTES The Romantic love ideal during the Middle Ages included 5 core beliefs Love at first sight There is one true love for each person Love conquers all The beloved is nearly perfect We should marry for love The ideology of separate spheres 19th century popular view that men were better
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