FAD2230 Exam 2 Chapter 6 Choosing a Marriage Partner and the First Years of Marriage Key Terms grow and change Adaptable marriage relationships A relationship that allows and encourages partners to Arranged marriage A marriage in which spouses are brought together usually by their parents and kids usually have no say in the matter usually done in places that are less Westernized like India Asia and Africa Assortative mating would make the best spouse When individuals gradually filter or sort out those who they think Bride price that he can marry her Example Hmong culture Money or property that the future groom pays the future bride s family so Courtship through which a couple develops mutual commitment and progresses toward marriage An old fashioned term that is still used by social scientists to mean the process Cross national marriage Marriage where immigrant parents arrange for people from other countries to marry their offspring either future spouse comes to the United States to marry offspring or offspring goes to home country for wedding ceremony but returns to U S Date rape acquaintance rape date or other acquaintance Being involved with a coercive sexual encounter with a Dowry Asian Indians A sum of money or property brought to the marriage by the female Example Endogamy do this such as Catholics Jews Muslims and Hindus Marrying within one s own social group Many traditional religious groups Experience hypothesis so that once married they are more likely to divorce Says that cohabitating experiences themselves affect individuals Exogamy Opposite of endogamy marrying outside of one s group Free choice culture Where people choose their own mates although typically they seek parents and other family members support for their decisions Example United States Geographic availability meet others who are a lot like themselves aka proximity or propinquity The reason that people tend to Heterogamy class ex Interracial marriages Marrying someone dissimilar in race age education religion or social Homogramy The tendency of people to marry others with whom they share certain social characteristics are most like themselves like similar race age and education Americans tend to do this a lot Hypergamy Improving ones social and or economic status by marrying up Hypogamy Opposite of hypergamy involves marrying down Interethinic marriage Asian Pacific Islander or Hispanic ethnic groups Unions between Hispanics and others as well as between different Hispanic and non Hispanic couples are the highest Intergenerational transmission of divorce children a heightened risk of getting divorced Because A divorced parental family transmits to its More serious personality problems solving Neither exposed to or learned supportive communication or problem skills Less commitment to the relationship More accepting attitudes toward divorce Interracial marriage American races with a spouse outside of their own race Hispanics are not classified in this because they are defined as an ethnic group not a race by the US Census Bureau A union between partners of the white black Asian or Native Interracial interethnic marriage statistics are small about 7 5 Marital stability they are in the marriage Whether spouses stay married or get a divorce depend on how satisfied Marriage market characteristics to bargain for the best buy they can get When people use their resources their personal and social Mate selection risk Youth from divorced families were more likely to select high risk partners who were also from divorced families How to minimize mate selection risk Let go of misconceptions one might have of love and choosing a partner Pool of eligible s considered most likely to make compatible marriage partners A group of individuals who by virtue of background pr birth are Rape myths one reason victims blame themselves Includes Beliefs about rape that function to blame the victim and exonerate the rapist wearing responsible for 1 The rape was somehow provoked by the victim like leading him on or proactive clothing 2 Men cannot control their sexual urges this belief holds women preventing rape 3 Rapists are mentally ill this belief encourages potential victims to feel safe with someone they know no matter what Role making associated with a role Newlyweds negotiate expectations for Modifying or adjusting the expectations and obligations traditionally Sex and intimacy Decision making patterns coming to Balance expectations about marital job or school responsibilities and an agreement on becoming a parent How they budget and handle their money When children are present negotiate parenting roles Selection hypothesis different from those who do not these differences translate into higher divorce rates Assumes that individuals who choose serial cohabitation are Status exchange hypothesis The argument that an individual might trade his or her socially defined superior racial ethnic status for the economically or educationally superior status of a partner in a less privileged racial ethnic group Theory of complementary needs Idea proposed by Robert Winch says we are attracted to partners whose needs complement our own and strengths that are harmonious to our own The traditional tendency for women to marry up with regard to age education SES Lecture Notes Marriage Gradient occupation height etc How do you find someone Friends Location Electronic dating Video dating Sliding vs Deciding Pressure to say I love you Sharing rent bank account pet household belongings etc Depending on partner for rides money Dating Is an institution Highly ritualized Game Limerance The high you get when you first meet someone Caused by chemicals in brain dopamine norepinephrine oxytocin Lasts about 3 6 months sometimes longer Altered state of mind drugged state Feels great Can be dangerous Not making good decision or choosing by default Love is blind Leads to Sliding Makes it hard to see problem behavior Problem Behaviors Lies Puts a negative spin on everything Has big mood swings Gets very angry Blames others Abuses substances Doesn t handle well Won t keep a job Controls people Takes advantage of people Doesn t take responsibility Believes others out to get him her Uses people Changes to please others Cheats won t stay faithful Involved in crime 7 Principles of Smart Love 1 Seek a good match 2 Pay attention to values 3 Choose a real partner not a make over project 4 Don t try to change yourself into somebody else 5 Expect good communication and
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