Family life partnering remarriage after divorce 04 19 2015 Being Single Again Emotional Effects of Divorce o People who divorce are not always happier after they divorce not that they regret it they believe they made the right choice There wasn t a chance of happiness if they didn t divorce o Ten years after ending their marriage about half of women and one third of men still have anger toward their ex o People who remarry tend to be happier than those who don t Relationships between Custodial Parents and Children o Long run divorce brings children and their parents closer together Children in a single mom home report talking to their mom more often than children in two parent households o There are negative outcomes but for most kids they have a healthy well adjusted life Have a closer relationship with their custodial parent o The positive relationship relationships children have with their parents after divorce is what puts the odds in their favor to beat the negative outcomes they re at risk for A primary factor in how well a child adjusts to the divorce long and short term is how well their custodial parent usually the mom functions as a parent Issues for custodial mothers downward mobility o The expected conflicting emotions that come after a divorce elation anger depression sadness are made worse by financial loss o Middle and upper class divorced women have greater resiliency than lower class women they have more resources like education and earning potential o Most single moms drastically cut their expenses in order to survive Custodial Fathers A Growing Group ago o Custodial fathers are at 1 in 10 a rise form 1 in 6 a generation In the past fathers could have custody of his kids unless the mom was proved unfit if she didn t want the children or other extreme circumstances physically emotionally financially unable to care for them o Three categories of how parents spend their time when caring or interacting with their children table 17 1 Page 412 PPT Slide 3 Physical care and planning organizing looking after waiting for helping teaching non educationally traveling Play and companionship reading to or with playing talking listening attending events Achievement related activities homework attending school conferences contacting with teachers waiting associated with education Single fathers spend more time with their children than married fathers do but less time than single or married mothers o Low income working class black men transition into full time parenting Difficult They lacked confidence in their parenting abilities had little money and found it difficult to provide for their children change their lifestyle and gave up a degree of freedom Extended family members aided them in their transition making it easier Help with babysitting making children dinner doing laundry and a whole other array of parenting tasks o Custodial fathers have closer ties with their parents and have more contact with them than custodial mothers They also get a wider array of help from extended kin possibly because of the gender bias people assuming men need more help than women Repartnering After a Divorce Repartnering Pg 414 the act of entering into a relationship after a divorce which may lead to cohabitation or marriage o Generally the most important factor in improving life satisfaction after a divorce Particularly for women the financial gains they make from repartnering are greater than entering the labor force Dating Again o If the divorcing couple is young and was only married for a short time its easier for them to begin dating again o Those who are older or married for a longer time it can be uncomfortable and awkward there are fewer in their pool of eligibles and they may be unaware of the changes in dating norms Older women find it difficult to meet men their age because men tend to date women younger than them o People who are better educated have more financial assets and are more socially connected are more likely than their counterparts to date o The number of middle aged divorced women who are beginning to cohabitate is on the rise the number of middle aged people of both sexes that are cohabitating is higher than those between 15 24 years old Figure Table 17 2 Pg 415 PPT Slide 5 6 o Remarriage rates decline as age goes up Later in life cohabitations tend to be stable and intact for the long run this is why researchers focus on repartnering instead of remarriage Cohabitation after a divorce Remarriage U S demographic trends who remarries and when o More than one third of women remarry within three years after a divorce half are remarried within five years o Racial Ethnic differences in remarriage Hispanics and Asian Americans are most likely to remarry Figure 17 4 Page 416 PPT Slide 11 Black women are less likely to remarry shortage of available black men o Sex Differences in remarriage Men are more likely to remarry than women and to do so more quickly for women the likelihood of remarriage decreases with age for men the age at divorce makes little difference less than 7 of women who divorce between the ages of 50 and 59 remarry within five years compared to 46 of men in that same age group micro and macro why some women choose not to get to married again if they can support themselves and their families easily enough on their own for women who do want to remarry cultural norms can make it difficult o Why do men and women remarry at different rates Men have more experience initiating contact They have a lifetime of socialization experiences that encourage them to be the initiator in relationships Many women have never asked a man on a date and are more comfortable being chosen by a man for a date particularly true of todays older women because when they were younger that wasn t a proper thing men often have a larger circle of causal friends than women do which gives them more options to meet potential partners they ve also worked in positions for longer periods of time than women that require them be skilled in conversations their incomes also tend to be higher which gives them more room to treat someone to a date dinner movie etc there is a double standard of aging when men age they re considered to be distinguished their graying hair wrinkles and weight gain are considered signs of their increased occupational prestige or income when women age they re considered less attractive and therefore less desirable double standard of aging Pg 418 the view that women s
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