FAD2230 Lecture 17 Outline of Last LectureI. ConflictII. Are Conflicts Healthy?III. Are All Conflicts Solvable?IV. Avoiding ConflictV. Passive AggressionVI. Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the ApocalypseOutline of Current LectureI. Gender Difference:II. Gender Patterns:III. What Can Women Do..IV. What Men Can Do..V. Taking a Time-OutVI. Speak Listener TechniqueCurrent LectureGender Difference:- Report talk: conversation aimed mainly at convening informationo men usually engage in this form of communication- Rapport talk: speaking to gain or reinforce rapport or intimacy o Women usually engage in this form of communicationGender Patterns:- Female: demand/male with drawl patterno Women: attuned to emotional quality of relationshipso Men: try to minimize conflicto How to avoid: Communicate- men; not to demand so much-women- Goals of men and women: o Women: resolve the conflict with understandingo Men: avoid a blow upWhat Can Women Do..- Use positive effecto Shared humoro Expression of affection- Soften the way she brings up complaintWhat Men Can Do..- Do not escalate the argument with..o Defensivenesso Contempto Belligerenceo Try to share power in the relationship: accept influenceTaking a Time-Out-Steps:1.) Recognize communication danger signs2.) Call the “time out”.. in a proper manner- “we need to take a time out”- “ I need a time out”3.) Go do something to calm down. Don’t ruminate or plan your next attack4.) Time back in when both parties are calm and can speak productivelySpeak Listener Technique- Rules of good conversation doesn’t apply to bad
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