Chapter 11 Power and Violence in Marriages and Families Monday November 05 2012 Types of Power Coercieve Power o Power someone has to punish someone else o To be in punishing type of situations o Relationship parents and children Teaching right and wrong and should include punishiment o Punishing a coworker or partner is not a healthy relationships Reward Power Expert Power o Ability to reward someone in a relationship o Parents and children teachers and children o Type of power when you are an expert at something and have more power over someone else o Doctor and your health o Teacher and the subject they have their major in Nari is an expert in Child and Marriage but not Physics o A degree in a field Informational Power o Power on someone based on having information o Listening to the radio and heard that smoking is bad and gathered information and share it to your roommate who smokes You have information but you re not an expert in the field o Negative form blackmail Referent Power o Type of power that a person has from the other person give you the power o You give power to another person to manage the relationship o Nari had a friend where they were both equal when alone but in a group the friend would want to be the center of attention and would make fun of Nari So Nari just backed out and gave her the power to not become embarrassed o Extreme examples empathize to an enemy Abducted children who feel like they have to give over their power to Legitimate Power another person o The type of power that you have that someone give to you o Example Nari husband is a police officer he has the power to enforce the law but he cannot defend the law that s a practicing attorney s power o Only work in certain situations Important it is evident in all different types of relationships but if power crosses different domains area in life then that becomes a problem Marital Power First studied in 1950 s Blood and Wolfe interview wives only Resource hypotheses the spouse with more resources has more power in marriage What resourced do spouses bring o Men money job security protection more educated power o Women ability to bare children nurturing o Which is more valued by society Men s Criticisms of the Study What domains men and women have power over Women food shopping cleaning Husbands where they live jobs finances more life changing Having the power to make trivial decisions is not the same as having the power to make important ones Problem they only asked one side If they would have gotten different results if they interviewed husbands only Resources and Gender Men tend to have more resources expectations o Money o Education o Status o Physical strength o Alternatives to marriage More acceptable to men to play bachelor and being childless Also as men get older they can marry younger and younger and it is still acceptable Men have a larger pool Women tend to be most equal with men at the beginning of marriage First pregnancy and birth diminishes women s resources o Female may take time off and lose income Job prestige lost o Dependent on males to be father and earner Women want their children to have two parents and a stable home o Having less energy to resist dominance of husband Culture Resources and Gender Resource theory does not explain everything Culture gives husband absolute legitimate power Culture of our society expects that even though they may not make the most Interaction of legitimate and resource power money they still should have the most power Legitimacy and Resources Culture gives power husband greater resources husband dominant Culture gives power husband less resources husband dominant Culture does not give power husband greater resources husband probably dominant Culture does not give power husband less resources egalitarian marriage or wife dominant Husband More Resources Yes No Husband Dominant Husband Dominant Culture gives husband power Yes No Husband Dominant Equal or Wife Dominant Power and Social Class Most classes perceive that they have egalitarian marriages o In higher class they do not have equal power because most wives are staying home while husband works and if the wives do work they don t make as much as the husband Why would middle class marriages be egalitarian o Because they are economically dependent on one another Why would lower class marriages be egalitarian Future of Marital Power Working women are happier in their marriages o More financial freedom o Psychosocial benefits Mutually economically dependent couples o Couples in which each partner earns 40 to 50 of the couples income When you take half away that s a significant amount Women s resources may be increase in value caring emotional support warmth o What we appreciate from women more now was not appreciated 50 years ago it s not valuable Equality between men and women may occur in overall society nurturing First World Problems Four Couple Types Heterosexual mattiage Heterosexual cohabiting Lesbian and Gay Married and cohabiting heterosexuals last egalitarian Gay and Lesbian share domestic duties more including child rearing Gays more competitive Lesbians more relationally focused Just about how much gender role is present Types of Marriage Peer marriages o 60 40 Near peer marriages Traditional marriages o Influenced by arrival of children and maximizing income o Husband dominated but wife okay with it Everybody s marriage is different don t be judgmental of others marriages Power and Intimacy Intimacy is greatest when power is equal No power equal power in relationship Really important seek to negotiate and compromise not to win 1 1 3 in relationship Power Politics How do spouses exert power in marriage o Leaving threatening o Withholding distancing Withholding sex hold power in the relationship o Pouting sulking o Infidelity Cheating I m not going to leave you but I m going to share my resources and you still have to be committed to me Accumulation of power politics leads to loneliness and distance in marriage Alternatives to Power Politics Partners take charge of separate domains o May decrease intimacy o Reinforces separateness Subordinate spouse disengages from power struggles o Fine I m not going to fight about this anymore Feelings bad resentful down negative feelings More powerful partner relinquish some power to save or enhance the marriage Intimacy means sharing All forms of abuse have at their center the exploitation of a power difference Family Violence Child abuse elder abuse
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