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FAD 2230 JETER Exam II STUDYGUIDE Chapter 7 Building Relationships Expectations Expectations o Most issues that come up in relationships have something to do with expectations o Often we do not know or communicate our expectations until they have been violated o Expectations are problems when o How do you know this o What if you believe your expectation is realistic and your partner does not o Do you have a bottom line deal breaker If expectation IS valid but has been violated then approach your partner in such a manner I would appreciate if you would or I would really prefer that you Common Unrealistic Expectations 1 Unaware 2 Unreasonable 3 Unspoken o Common Expectation Clashes 1 Men s vs women s role 2 Contact with previous partners 3 Money 4 Standards of Cleanliness 5 Time spent together Are they Realistic Are your expectations realistic 1 Mind reading is expected 2 Disagreement is destructive 3 Sexual perfectionism 4 Partners relationships cannot change 5 Sexes are different Common Realistic Expectations 1 Loyalty Fidelity 2 Trust Honesty 3 Good communication 4 Conflict in relationship 5 Safety emotional psychological physical FAD 2230 JETER Summary Deal with Expectations 1 Are you aware of them 2 Are they reasonable 3 Have you spoken to your partner about them 4 Are both of you willing to meet the other person s most important and reasonable expectations Being Single circumstance Types of Single o Single a person who has never married is divorced or is widowed o There is a difference between being single by choice or because of o Voluntary Temporary singles unmarried adults who may be delaying marriage while pursuing education or establishing a career o Voluntary stable singles unmarried adults desiring a single unmarried lifestyle to find a suitable one o Involuntary temporary singles singles actively searching for a mate but unable o Involuntary stable singles Unmarried adults who can expect to be single for life even though they may not want to be Friendships Evolution of Dating o Friendships provide valuable support while single and partnered o Female friendships more intimate relationship focused o Male friendships less intimate activity focused o Cross sex friendships more common today than in past generations can be complicated with tensions o Calling young man visiting in a woman s home o Dating occur in social setting outside of the home can occur in pairs or in groups o Cohabitating committed couples who are living together but are not married Who do we date FAD 2230 JETER o Homogamy people who are similar on characteristics such as ethnicity social class values o Propinquity geographic closeness o Pool of eligibles the pool of people from which we are able to choose mates Cohabitation Cohabitation living with a romantic partner without being married o Has always existed o On the rise dramatically changed o Becoming increasingly normative View of Cohabitation o It s a sin o It makes financial and logistical sense o We are getting married in a few months o An alternative to marriage o A testing ground for marriage Cohabitation is linked to o Relationships that do not last very long o More likely to have unhappy marriages o More likely to divorce Reasons o Selection effect characteristics of the person are more important than actual cohabitation o Experience effect the experience of one or more cohabitations is important Homosexual Relationships o Homosexual couples and Heterosexual couples are more alike than different o Homosexual couples receive less support than heterosexual couples but receive more friend support o Lesbian couples usually have the most equal and least sexualized relationships out of all homosexual and heterosexual couple types Textbook Vocab for CH 7 1 Voluntary temporary singles Unmarried adults who may be delaying marriage while pursuing education or establishing a career 2 Voluntary stable singles Unmarried adults desiring a single unmarried lifestyle FAD 2230 JETER 3 4 Involuntary temporary singles singles actively searching for a mate but unable to find a suitable one Involuntary stable singles Unmarried adults who can expect to be single for life even though they may not want to be 5 Cross sex friendships A friendship between a man and a woman that is strictly platonic 6 Calling A dating practice of the 18th and 19th century in which a young man would visit a young woman in her parents home 7 Adolescence The period of life that occurs between childhood and adulthood 8 Principle of Least Interest The idea that unequal emotional involvement between romantic partners has implications for the quality and stability of relationships 9 Dating Script A set of expectations around dating that differ somewhat for men and women 10 Homogamous relationships Relationships in which we spend most of our time with people who are very similar to ourselves 11 Propinquity Geographic closeness 12 Pool of eligibles The group from which we are likely to choose our mates 13 Cohabitation An arrangement in which two people live together without being married 14 Selection effect An explanation for the fact that people who cohabit tend to be the same ones who later divorce 15 Spurious When a relationship between two variables is actually caused by a third variable CHAPTER 8 Love and Loving Relationships What is love o Love A strong affection for one another arising out of kinship or personal ties attraction based on sexual desire and affection based on admiration benevolence or common interests Images of Love in History Romantic love and marriage were often not attached to each other o Ancient Greeks and Roman mythology did not associate love with marriage o Early Christianity did not associate love with marriage o 12th century during the Middle Ages there were some precursors to our notion of romantic love in marriage Feminization of love FAD 2230 JETER The process beginning in the 19th century in which love became associated with the private work of women in the home namely nurturing and caring for family members o Industrial Revolution men go to work ad experience the stresses of labor outside the home o The home becomes a haven of rest for men and women become the keepers of it Thus caregiving and domesticity begin to become evidence of love Contemporary Ideas about Love o Romantic love A type of love that is characterized by passion melodrama and excitement and which receives a lot of media attention o Companionate Love A type of love that grows over time


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FSU FAD 2230 - Chapter 7 Building Relationships

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