CHAPTER 14 Fam work at home the Division of Household Labor Household labor unpaid work done to maintain fam members home Routine household labor routine tasks that cant be postponed like cooking washing dishes laundry Occasional labor tasks that are time flexible like paying bills yard care household repairs Men say spouses do equal work but women usually say they do more Dads report more leisure time than mother Explanations to the gendered division of labor Time availability perspective suggests its determined by the need for household labor and each partners availability to perform the tasks if youre home youre perceived to have more time to do the work Relative resources perspective the greater the relative amount of resources contributed by a partner the greater their power within the relationship which can be translated into bargaining to avoid tasks like homework that offer no pay or social prestige Found that women who make more than their husbands STILL do more household work than their husbands to ensure her gender role remains for female Gender perspective like her daughter didn t know how to do laundry at 13 so she freaked out bc she felt her daughter didn t know her gender her husband says you make me look terrible like im not capable and make you do the labor There is more expected from fathers than husbands husbands are taken care of by their wife but they split into their gender roles once baby is born come in equal but expectations change Conflict Overload and Spillover Work fam conflict form of tension under which people feel that the pressures from paid work and family roles are incompatible in some way Role overload feeling overwhelmed by different commitments in all your different roles and not having enough time to meet each commitment effectively I have to cut something out Spillover occurrence caused by the demands involved in one sphere of work carrying over into work in another sphere not the time or place or allowing yourself to rub off your family struggles at work Working mothers nowadays would much rather work part time than full time at home mothers are seeming more satisfied w their arrangement Whos taking care of kids while moms at work For preschool age kids Daycare nonresidential facilities that provide childcare Family childcare provider not family private homes other than child s home where childcare is provided a neighbor maybe Nannies babysitters nonrelatives that provide care in the home most expensive School age kids use self care children who are unsupervised and taking care of themselves Daycare centers most safe for kids child care prices decrease as kids age Chapter 15 6 types of power Coercive power when you have ability to punish someone parent child relationship penal system Reward power opposite of coercive no ability to punish Expert power expert in your field gaming degrees people to listen to you bc they consider you knowledgeable Informational power negative use blackmail gossiping good use stop smoking I ve heard it s bad for you Power and Intimacy intimacy is greatest when power is equal no power equal power in relationship seek to negotiate and compromise not to win referent power when you give up your power Stockholm syndrome when someone is captured and they end up sympathizing in their capture so they end up admiring them and siding w them result of cognitive dissonance Legitimate power power given to you by some entity organization in order for you to do something Ex police officer leaving threatening one type is reasonable and thought out another is constant im leaving after a small fight Power politics Spouses exert power in relationships by withholding distancing pouting sulking infidelity Alternatives to power politics Accumulation of power politics leads to loneliness and distance in marriage Partners take charge of separate domains may increase intimacy reinforces separateness youre too hard on my kids and too easy on their own but decide to take care of own kids Subordinate spouse disengages from power struggles I clearly don t have the power so I give up what I say doesn t matter feel defeated More powerful partner relinquish some power to save or enhance the marriage realize you have most power but want to give it up to be equal Marital Power studied since 1950 s Blood and Wolfe interview wives only resource hypothesis the spouse w more resources has more power Blood Wolfe study results most fams 72 had relatively egalitarian decision making structure 25 husbands made decisions 3 wives made decisions Criticisms of study Men and women have different domains of power Women food shopping cleaning Men where they live jobs finances having power to make trivial decisions is not same as having power to make important ones Resources and Gender Women tend to be the most equal with men at the beginning of marriage First pregnancy and birth diminishes womens resources female take time off and lose income dependent on males to be father and earner have less energy to resist dominance of husband Four couple types heterosexual married heterosexual cohabitating lesbian gay married and cohabitating heterosexuals least egalitarian gay and lesbian share domestic duties more including child rearing gays more competitive lesbians more relationally focused Family Violence All forms of abuse have at their center someone exploiting the power different Child abuse elder abuse husband abuse Dating violence domestic violence sexual coercion Three phase cycle of violence tension resulting from some minor altercation builds over a period of time situation escalates exploding into another violence episode violent person becomes contrite treating spouse lovingly keeps cycle going gives hope Check out power and control wheel Types of violence Intimate partner violence violence committed by spouses ex spouses or current former boyfriends and girlfriends including same sex partners Patriarchal terrorism controlling the partner through fear and intimidation typically used to describe men s actions but not limited to even if never physically hurt Common couple violence mutual violence w specific argument Chapter 16 divorce Todays high U S divorce rate On average 40 50 of married ppl can expect to divorce divorce rate is about 50 for first marriage and 65 for second marriages bc ppl realize the warning signs earlier and don t give it enough time because they are older and feel they need to find someone else before it s too late There are
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