EXAM 2 MATERIALChapter 6: Communication, Conflict, and Power in Our RelationshipsImportance of Communication- Communication: an interactive process that uses symbols like words and gestures to both send and receive messages- Communication is a transaction- Communication is a process- Communication includes co-construction of meaningso You’re bringing to the table what your construction of that meaning iso Depends on your environment growing upo Each partner speaks a language and interprets meaning in a way acquired from his or her family of orientation- Communication uses symbolso Symbols can be verbal (words) or nonverbal (gestures)The Cultural Context of Communication: Embracing Difference- Race, Ethnicity, and Communicationo Languageo Variance of Standard American English (SAE) Spoken by Whites, Blacks, African American Englisho Study that shows that if you hear a small bit of a conversation many people can depict the race of the person speaking Due to syntax, acoustics and rules for subject-verb agreement o Racial differences in speech patterns also helps explain the gap in wages between Blacks and Whiteso Non-verbal messages also differ across racial and ethnic groups - Social Class and Communicationo Members of the working class are more likely to use simple connection phrases such as “like” or “but” and to use fewer pronounso Breaking code: drop slang, and native language to speak more proper American language Depends who you’re speaking to Know what SAE is and can weave in and out of it when it suits their interest- Cultural Differenceso Have words that mean something in your cultureo Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis: The concept that language shapes our culture, and at the same time, our culture shapes our language Studied the language patterns of several different cultural groups Many groups have different meanings for different wordso Understanding how language influences and is influenced by, culture is critical in our globalworldo Individualist vs. Collectivist Cultures Individualist: focuses on personal achievements and independence- Values personal achievement and independence- Great potential for miscommunication between these two groups - Ex: US Collectivist: ex: China- Focuses more on the needs of the group than the needs of the individualo High vs. Low-context Cultures High: A lot more emphasis on the indirect and nonverbal communication- Communication is based on the context of the individual - Usually collectivist cultures such as Latin America or Japan where people may want to get to know one another well before engaging in any transactions- People tend to use more “feeling” in their expressions Low: communication is more direct- US and Germany - People don’t know each other well, and more emphasis is placed on formal transactions and everything must be explained explicitly- May be perceived as being rude by someone from a high-context cultureo Masculine vs. Feminine Cultures Some cultures emphasize the stereotypical male values of achievement, assertiveness and material success, while others emphasize traits that have been more traditionally aligned with the feminine, including caring for others, modesty and enhancing overall quality of life In masculine cultures, gender stereotypes tend to be more rigid and women have less power in society Feminine cultures are more likely to see compromise and negotiation as useful communication tools, where masculine cultures may see these tools as a sign of weakness o Centralized vs. Decentralized Power Centralized: In some cultures power is given to very few and there is a pretty big distance between those who have power and those who don’t- Ex: Cuba Decentralized: US, vote who we want to be in office; can write to congressmen - Power is more evenly distributed and average people have a chance to participate These differences also affect our worldview and our communication styleso High vs. Low Ambiguity Aren’t clear cut rules for communication and behavior High: Greece, not very clear cut rules for behavior and communication- People living in these cultures are generally comfortable with unknown situations- They minimize the importance of strict rules governing relationships and communication o Short-term vs. Long-term Time Orientation ST: want it now- Ex: US LT: look at idea of perseverance; keep working hard and it’ll pay off- Ex: Asian type culturesTypes of Communication- Are You Listening to Me?o Listening: The process of giving thoughtful attention to what we hear A lot more difficult to be a good listener than you may think Involves a collection of skills that seriously have to be practiced, acquired Components you need to be an active listener: 1. You need to hear the message, receive the message2. You need to understand and decode the message3. You need to retain it for some period of time4. You need to evaluate what you have heard After you have done those 4 steps, you can respond Need to use eye contact, body language- Verbal Communication: It’s All Your Faulto John Gottman Studied couples and their conflicts and communication Identified two types of problems- Solvable problemso Things that don’t have the deep meaning associated to themo Ex: Taking out the trash- Perpetual problemso Usually associated with religion or children or sexo Ex: Whether to have children or not Video taped couples for 15 min having a conversation about a perpetual problem - Monitored heart rate, breathing to indicate levels of stress Examined the interactional sequences- Looked for when one partner expressed negative affect (anger, sadness, whining, disgust) o When these negative affects were present belligerence, contempt and defensiveness, there is a higher rate of divorce These are your high-intensity affectso The immediate response of the other partner had a huge influence on to where the conflict went Shared humor would deescalate the argument Those who could deescalate the conversation were in a better situation; had higher levels of marital happiness If partner responds with anger, it would escalate the information The presence of anger isn’t as detrimental to relationships as one may think The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse1. Criticismo Different than a complainto Attacking someone’s character Ex: Accusing someone of being untrustworthy o When people say “you never” and “you
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