Are they realistic Are your expectations realistic o How do you know this o What if you believe your expectation is realistic and your partner does not o Do you have a bottom line dealbreaker If expectation IS valid but has been violated then approach your partner in such a manner I would appreciate it if you would or I would really prefer that you Common Unrealistic Expectations 1 Mindreading is expected 2 Disagreement is destructive 3 Sexual perfectionism 4 Partners relationships cannot change 5 Sexes are different Common Realistic Expectations 1 Loyalty fidelity 2 Trust Honesty 3 Good communication 4 Conflict in relationship 5 Safety emotional psychological physical Summary Deal with Expectations 1 Are you aware of them 2 Are they reasonable 3 Have you spoken to your partner about them 4 Are both of you willing to meet the other persons most important and reasonable expectations Chapter 7 Building Relationships in a Changing World Being Single o Single a person who has never married is divorced or is widowed o There is a difference between being single by choice and being single We have changing attitude towards single women this reflects macro level Your experience being single depends on your sex race ethnicity etc because of circumstance changes in our social structure Types of single o Voluntary Temporary Singles Unmarried adults who may be delaying marriage while pursuing education or establishing a career o Voluntary Stable Singles Unmarried adults desiring a single unmarried lifestyle o Involuntary Temporary Singles Singles actively searching for a mate but unable to find a suitable one o Involuntary Stable Singles Unmarried adults who can expect to be single for life even though they may not want to be o Friendships provide valuable support while single and partnered o Female friendships more intimate relationship focused o Male friendships less intimate more activity focused play basketball Friendships lift watch golf Fear of homosexuality o Cross sex friendships more common today than in past generations can be complicated with tensions Hard to be strictly platonic More common due to more contact in workplace schools etc o In a study men said that they have known their friends longer than females Females said they spend more time and are closer with friends friends ships o Working class friendships seem to last longer than middle class Might be due to moving for jobs Working class experienced more stress and hardships Asians are least likely to have long friendships Evolution of Dating o Calling young man visiting in a woman s home Early America Women had more power Strongly influenced by parents Marriage was a necessity for women o Dating occur in social settings outside of the home can occur in pairs or in groups Mandatory education and child labor laws were enforced Industrialization higher standard of living automobiles more social events dance halls and theatres for young people to congregate resulted in the creation of adolescence period between childhood and adulthood women controlled men s behavior Rating and Dating complex emotional involvement between romantic partners has implications for the quality and stability of relationships Principle of least interest referring to the idea that unequal Young man initiated communication paid for dates etc while Dating scripts sets of expectations about how to behave society Dating Trends Who do we date Ex Women should wait to be asked out shouldn t eat a lot on a date go to the bathroom to put makeup on call friend afterwards o The wealthy control dating opportunities to maintain their place in Private schools gated communities etc o Less people date today at young ages compared to 1991 Due to more relaxed view hanging out talking electronics o Homogamous spend our time with people who look and act like us o Propinquity geographic closeness Pool of eligibles the group from which you are likely to choose a mate o Cohabitating committed couples who are living together but are not Became less common in the early 20 Baby boom sexual time no one felt the need to marry young married easier laws allowing to get divorced selection effect same type of person who would willingly end an unhappy marriage 8 million us households heterosexually cohabitating the type of person who cohabitates may be the th century cohabitation doesn t necessarily cause a divorce but the same type of person who cohabitates would also be likely to get a divorce ie Not religious people Spurious both cohabitation and divorce are really caused by the third factor the person or weaken the relationship Cohabitation experience might change what you think about Chapter 8 Love a strong affection for one another arising out of kinship or personal ties attraction based on sexual desire and affection based on admiration benevolence or common interests o 1 Love is an enduring bond o 2 Love is based on affection o 3 Love includes a feeling of obligation toward one another asserts that the way infants form attachments early in Attachment theory life affects their relationships Secure Anxious ambivalent avoidant attachments Images of Love in History o Romantic love and marriage were often not attached to each other Ancient Greek Roman mythology did not associate love with marriage Early Christianity did not associate love with marriage 12th century during the middle ages there were some precursors to our notion of romantic love in marriage o Feminization of Love The process beginning the 19th century in which love became associated with the private work of women in the home namely nurturing an care for family members Industrial Revolution Men go to work and experience the stresses of labor outside the home The home becomes a haven of rest for men and women become the keepers of it Thus caregiving and domesticity begin to become evidence of love o Contemporary Ideas about Love Romantic Love Companionate Love A type of love that is characterized by passion melodrama and excitement and which receives a lot of media attention on strong commitment friendship and trust formation of attachment to an individual very intense emotions experience during the early A type of love that grows over time based Limerance Sociobiology An evolutionary theory that all humans have an instinctive impulse to pass on their genetic material Biochemical Perspectives of Love Theories that suggest humans are attracted to certain types of people At which point the brain releases natural
View Full Document
Unlocking...