Chapter 11: Power and Violence in Marriages and Families- Types of powero Coercive: ability to punish someone Ex- parent over childo Reward: ability to give someone something Ex- giftso Expert: power over individual when you have expertise in something Ex- teach over studento Informational: know information and use that info to have power over someone Ex- “smoking causes cancer, so you should stop smoking” “blackmail”o Referent: power a person gives up to someone else Ex- Stockholm syndrome (someone who is in captivity is sympathetic to captiver)o Legitimate: power that someone gives you so you can have power over someone else Ex- mother hiring babysitter to have power over children Ex- attorney to practice law/ police officer given authority by state- Marital Powero First studied in 1950’s Blood and Wolfe: interviewed wives only Resource hypothesis: the spouse with more resources has more power in marriage- Main-society said so; they control money situation Study results- Most families (72%) had “relatively equalitarian” decision-making structure- 25%: husbands made decisions- 3%: wives made decisions Problems of the study- What domains men and women have power overo Women- food, shopping, and cleaningo Men- where they live, jobs, finances- “having the power to make trivial decisions is not the same as having the power to make important ones”- Resources and Gender o Men tend to have more resources Money Education Status Physical strength Alternatives to marriageso Women tend to be most equal with need at the beg of marriageso First pregnancy and birth diminishes women’s resources Female may take time off and lose income Dependent on males to be father and earner Have less energy to resist dominance of husband- Future of martial powero Working women are happier in their marriages More financial freedom Psychological benefitso Mutually economically dependent couples Couples in which part earns 40 to 50% of the couples income Possible fight: how the money is split- Males will think they are more rational and women are too emotional so they think they should make decisions Women’s resources may be increased in value: caring, emotional support, warmth, and nurturing Equality between men and women may occur in overall society- Women being nurturing at home but also having a say in society (laws)- Four couple typeso Heterosexual married, heterosexual cohabitating, lesbian, and gay Heterosexual married/cohabitating have less equality in relationship- Have gender roles and society influence relationship Gay and lesbian share domestic duties more (including child-rearing)- Gays are more competitive - Lesbians are more relationship focused- Power and intimacyo Intimacy is greatest when power is equalo No power = equal power in relationship “I’m not seeking to control you, nor are you to me”o Seek to negotiate and compromise, not to win- Power Politicso How do spouses exert power in a marriage? Leaving/threatening Withholding/ distancing- Withholding sex, distancing someone- “I don’t want to be close to you” Pouting/ sulking- Silent treatment Infidelityo Accumulation of power politics leads to loneliness and distance in marriageo Alternative to power politics Partners take charge of separate domains- May decrease intimacy- Reinforces “separateness”o “I’ll go out with my friends and you go out with yours”o “I’ll do the dishes, you do the laundry” Subordinate spouse disengages from power struggles More powerful partner relinquish some power to save or enhance the marriage- Let the lesser powerful partner win or take a step back- The healthiest type of alternative- Family Violenceo “all forms of abuse have at their center the exploitation of power difference”o Child abuse, elder abuse, husband abuseo Dating violence, domestic violence, sexual coercion- 3-Phase Cycle of Violenceo Tension resulting from some minor altercation building over a period of timeo Situation escalates, exploding into another violent episodeo Violent person becomes contrite (apologetic), treating his/her spouse or partner lovingly Keeps person in relationship- Power and Control Wheelo Using intimidation: making her afraid by using looks, actions, gestureso Using emotional abuse: putting her downo Using isolation: controlling what she doeso Min. denying and blaming : making light of the abuse and not taking her concerns about it seriouslyo Using children: making her feel guilty about the childreno Using male privilege: treating her like a servant; acting like the master of the castleo Use economic abuse: preventing her from getting or keeping a job; giving her an allowanceo Use coercion and threats: making threats to do something to hurt her; threatening to leave her or commit suicide- Types of violenceo Intimate-Partner Violence: violence committed by spouses, ex-spouse, or current or former bf/gf including same sex partnero Patriarchal Terrorism: controlling the partner through fear and intimidation Fear that they will leave youo Common Couple Violence: mutual violence with a specific argument Usually younger couples Grow out of this Ex- to many drinks , girl slaps guy, guy slaps girl- Why abusers do ito Feelings of powerlessness, lack of resources, insecurity, alcohol/ substance abuse- Why do victims put up with ito Fear- fear for life, fear of what other will thinko Cultural norms- parents hitting children (spanking)o Love, economic dependence, and hope for reformo Gendered socializationo Childhood experienceso Low self-esteem- Children and Violenceo Child abuse: physical, sexual, emotional Likely to occur with someone that is always in contact with themo Child neglecto Sibling violence o Florida abuse hotline: 1800-96-abuseChapter 12: The Process of Divorce- Today’s high US divorce rateo On avg, 40-50% of marrieds can expect to have their marriages dissolve over the life courseo The divorce rate is about 50% for first marriageso The divorce rate is about 65% for second marriages- Why are couples divorcing?o Various factors can bind marriages and families together including: Economic independence- Combined money goes farther (nicer house, budget better) Legal, social, and moral constraints- Can’t just break up; fear of being labeled as divorced; people have values (value marriage and commitment) Spouse’s relationship-
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