FAD 2230 Chapter 7 Being Single circumstance o See book chart Types of Single Single a person who has never married is divorced or is widowed There is a difference between being single by choice or because of Voluntary Temporary Singles unmarried adults who may be delaying marriage while pursuing education or establishing a career Voluntary Stable Singles Unmarried adults desiring a single unmarried lifestyle Involuntary Temporary Singles Single actively searching for a mate but unable to find a suitable one Involuntary Stable Singles Unmarried adults who can expect to be single for life even though they may not want to be Friendships provide valuable support while single and partnered Female friendships more intimate relationship focused Male friendships less intimate activity focused Cross sex friendships more common today than in past generations can be Friendships complicated with tensions Evolution of Dating Calling young man visiting in a woman s home Dating occur in social settings outside of the home can occur in pairs or in Cohabitating committed couples who are living together but are not married groups Who do we date Homogamy people who are similar on characteristics such as ethnicity social class values Propinquity geographic closeness Pool of eligible the pool of people from which we are able to choose mates Cohabitation Living with a romantic partner without being married o See book chart Becoming increasingly normative Linked to o Relationships that do not last very long o More likely to have unhappy marriages o More likely to divorce Reasons o Selections effect characteristics of the person are more important than actual cohabitation o Experience effect the experience of one or more cohabitations is important Views on Cohabitation It is a sin It makes financial and logistical sense We are getting married in a few months An alternative to marriage A testing ground for marriage Homosexual Relationships Homosexual couples and Heterosexual couples are more alike than different Homosexual couples receive less family support than heterosexual couples but received more friend support Lesbian couples usually have the most equal and least sexualized relationships out of all homosexual and heterosexual couple types Chapter Review Close friendships provide companionship support self esteem and teach us about others and ourselves Some of our most important and intimate relationships are with our friends Our social statuses shape the types of our friendships Historically cross sex friendships that were strictly platonic were rare and believed to be a part of the developmental process of romantic engagement Primary goal of dating is mate selection In the realm of dating many macro level factors influence our personal choices The number of people who cohabit has increased dramatically over the past Our society began to view cohabitation more favorably beginning in the Many cohabitating relationships do not lead to marriage about half break up few decades 1960s and 1970s in less than a year Chapter 8 What is Love Love A strong affection for one another arising out of kinship or personal ties attraction based on sexual desire and affection based on admiration benevolence or common interests Images of Love In History Romantic love and marriage were often not attached to each other o Ancient Greek Roman mythology did not associate love with marriage o Early Christianity did not associate love with marriage o 12th century during the Middle Ages there were some precursors to our notion of romantic love in marriage Feminization of Love The process beginning in the 19th century in which love became associated with the private work of women in the home namely nurturing and caring for family members o Industrial revolution men go to work and experience the stresses of labor outside the home o The home becomes a haven of rest for men and women become the keepers of it Thus caregiving and domesticity begin to become evidence of love Contemporary Ideas about Love Romantic Love A type of love that is characterized by passion melodrama and excitement and which receives a lot of media attention Companionate Love A type of love that grows over time based on strong commitment friendship and trust Limerance very intense emotions experienced during the early formation of attachment to an individual Theoretical Perspectives on Love Sociobiology An evolutionary theory that all humans have an instinctive impulse to pass on their genetic material Biochemical Perspectives of Love Theories that suggest humans are attracted to certain types of people at which point the brain releases natural chemicals that give us a rush we experience as sexual attraction Love as Attachment Attachment Theory A theory postulating that the way in which infants form attachments early in life will affect relationships throughout later life Types of Attachment Children Secure Attachment An attachment type where infants feel safe when their mothers are out of sight Anxious Ambivalent Attachment The attachment type where infants become nervous when their parent leaves the room and can show rejection when the parent returns Avoidant Attachment An attachment type where infants show little attachment to their primary parent Types of Attachment Adults Adult romantic relationships correspond to the infant attachments o Secure Attachments o Anxious Ambivalent attachments o Avoidant Attachments Sternberg s Triangular Theory of Love See page 149 diagram Consummate Love attained if 3 elements are met Triangular Theory Love has three elements intimacy passion and commitment o Intimacy closeness and sharing o Passion intense physical and emotional drive o Commitment decision to be in relationship See p 150 diagram Sternberg proposed 8 types of love based on the combination of passion intimacy and commitment Lee s Styles of Love See p 150 diagram Reiss s Wheel Theory of Love See p 152 diagram Rapport building relationship based on mutual trust and respect Mutual Dependency desire to spend more time together Personality Need Fulfillment satisfy a majority of each others emotional Self revelation sharing intimate information about oneself needs Needs and Love Legitimate needs being needs are needs that arise in the present rather than out of deficits accumulated in the past o Emotional support understanding companionship sexual sharing Illegitimate needs deficiency needs arise from feelings of self doubt unworthiness and inadequacy may stem
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