Family Relationships Exam 2 Study Guide Ch 6 Chapter 6 important communication an interactive process that uses symbols like words and gestures to both send and receive messages 1 communication is a transaction partners are simultaneously senders and receivers 2 communication is a process always changing culture race ethnicity sex are 3 communication uses symbols to construct meanings words gestures race ethnicity communication african american english dialects different cultures have different nonverbals ex in Latin American cultures children avoid making eye contact with authority figures social class and communication upper class more pronouns working class more like but slang differs among age groups Sapir Whorf hypothesis the concept that language shapes our culture and at the same time our culture shapes our language individualist vs collectivist cultures values personal achievement and inde pendence vs focuses more on needs of the group goals of group supersede the goals of individual high vs low context cultures emphasis placed on indirect and nonverbal com munication vs emphasis placed on direct communication formal masculine vs feminine cultures emphasize male values achievement sertiveness assertiveness vs female values caring modesty compromise tiation as nego centralized vs decentralized power power in hands of few vs many high vs low ambiguity tolerance for ambiguity anxiety about future don t toler ate ambiguity well or generally comfortable with unknown situations short term vs long term orientation how a culture uses and values time asian cultures long term others focus on short term spending rather than saving quick results etc listening the process of giving thoughtful attention to what we hear active listening extremely attentive listening where the listener has good eye contact and body language and encourages the other person to continue talking verbal communication spoken exchange of thoughts feelings or other messages 5 stage model of listening process receiving hearing attending understanding deciphering meaning learning remembering recalling retaining evaluating judging criticizing responding answering giving feedback bypassing lack of precision overgeneralizing static evaluation polarization biased language written electronic communication informality is the new norm writing influences our speech volume control over messages more relationships with less depth we can live in the moment sex differences women s patterns use conversation to maintain and establish relationships nonverbal communication communication without words by using gestures expres sions and body language men s patterns sit next to each other look at each other details more depth smile more often more questions politer in tone consolidate info to the point goal is to give information less likely to convey feelings or emotions tend to spread their bodies out more self disclosure telling a person something private about yourself that he or she would not otherwise know conflict disagreements over decision making problem solving or achieving goals which can result from differences between group members in personality perception information tolerance for risk and power or influence solvable conflict on the surface can be figured out ex house chores perpetual conflict not changing values based ex wanting children content issue vs values and beliefs Types of Conflict pseudoconflict falsely perceiving that our partner is interfering with our goals or has incompatible goals solvable content conflict individuals disagree about information solvable value conflict results from differing opinions on subjects that relate to personal values and issues of right or wrong perpetual ego conflict a type of conflict where individuals believe they must win at all costs to save face perpetual on scale of easy to difficult 1 pseudo 2 content 3 value 4 ego Personal Conflict Styles avoiding leave me alone accommodating whatever you say someone is taken advantage of competing my way or the highway damaging to relationship compromising work together each do a part collaborating for both people work together goals of both people are achieved Intimacy Communication Conflict John Gottman studies marriage relationships some work some don t not passion excitement that makes them work noticed it s the way they fight communication during conflict 4 most damaging 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse 1 criticism insulting character using absolutes attacking someone 2 defensiveness defend themselves against attack stand up for yourself 3 contempt belittling sarcasm treating them like a child 4 stonewalling ignoring no feedback repair attempt smile joke trying to get back to okay I m sorry bids for connection responding to them is important regulating couples use communication to promote closeness and intimacy nonregulated couples couples who have many negative communication exchanges use them for negative Power and Control power the ability to exercise your will personal power the degree of autonomy a person has to exercise his or her will social power exercise your will over another person intimate partner power involves decision making among intimate partners their divi sion of labor their sense of entitlement coersive power using physical force to get someone to do something reward power using incentives to get someone to do something prizes legitimate power the power the police judge has over you authority Theories of Power resource theory spouse with the more prestigious or higher paying job can use that advantage to generate more power in the relationship and thereby influence decision making principle of least interest one with least interest in relationship has more power relative love and need theory looks at the way that love itself is feminized defined and interpreted doing gender suggest that we take power differentials among men and women for granted and continue to reproduce them Power and Control in Gay Lesbian Relationships they are more upbeat about conflict principle of least interest money not source of power in lesbian relationships more likely to be egalitarian Chapter 7 marriage in history colonial america designed to put man at head of house man women laws are state regulated marriage legally and socially recognized relationship that includes sexual economic and social rights and responsibilities for partners found in every human society husbands required to support wife and children 19th century challenged
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