FAD2230 Lecture 8Outline of Last Lecture Lecture 22Outline of Last Lecture:I. Theoretical Perspectives on the Familyi. Family Development Theoryii. Stages of Family Life Cycleiii. Family Development Tasksiv. Family Development Conceptsv. Systems Theoryvi. Systems Theory Conceptvii. Ecological System Theoryviii. Microsystemsix. Mesosystemsx. Exosystemsxi. Macrosystemsxii. ChronosystemsOutline of Current LectureII. Chapter 3: Building Relationships: Expectationsi. Expectationsii. Problems with expectationsiii. Common expectations Clashesiv. Are they realisticv. Common Unrealistic ExpectationsCurrent LectureChapter 3 : Building Relationships : Expectations Expectations:-Most issues that come up in relationships have something to do wit expectations -Often, we do not know or communicate our expectations until they have been violated. ---------Ex. Expecting a good birthday but don't communicate it then have a meltdownProblems with expectations,Expectations are problems when: (like an iceberg. What you get on bottom of theiceberg ex. Perception, attitudes, values, mood, feelings, gender, suspicion/ what you see,the event, on top),3 U's1. Unaware2. Unreasonable3. UnspokenCommon Expectations Clashes1. Men's vs. women's roles ex. Household chores2. Contact with previous partners3. Money4. Standards of cleanliness. Ex. With roommates 5. Time spent together Are they realistic-Are your expectations realistic ? - how do you know this ? - what if you believe your expectation is realistic and your partner does not? - do you have a bottom line ("deal breaker") ?If expectation IS valid (but has been violated), then approach your partner in such a manner: " I would appreciate it if you would ..." Or, "I would really prefer that you..."Common Unrealistic Expectations1. Mind reading is expected2. Disagreement is destructive3. Sexual perfectionism4. Partners/relationships cannot change5. Sexes are
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