Chapter 6 Communication Conflict and Power in our Relationship The Importance of Communication gestures to both send and receive messages Communication an interactive process using symbols like words and Communication in transaction all human behavior is a continuous Communication is a process it is dynamic and always changing and Communication includes co construction of meanings each exchange and partners are simultaneously senders and receivers of messages culture race ethnicity and sex are crucial partner speaks a language and interprets meanings in a way acquired from his or her family or orientation Communication uses symbols to construct meanings or definitions we rely on symbols that can be verbal like words or nonverbal like gestures The Cultural Context of Communication Embracing Difference Race Ethnicity and Communication Social class and Communication Culture Differences It is not surprising that members of a particularly social class race or ethnic group develop their own ways of communicating through words gestures or expressions Listeners can identify a speaker s race from his or her speech even if only hearing short snippets of speech it is discriminated against blacks Nearly 84 of white speakers were accurately identified by listeners as were about 77 of the black speakers Black who did not use racially distinct speech had wages equal to those of whites Members of the working class tend to speak less Standard American English SAE use more words of simple coordination such as like or but and use fewer pronouns compared to the middle and upper middle class at the same time our culture shapes our language Culture is another macro level factor that shapes our communication Sapir Whorf Hypothesis state that language shapes our culture and Example Native Alaskan groups have many different words for snow After all it is soft crunchy wet melting or powdery to name just a few But in comparison people from Miami probably have fewer words to describe snow because they never see it And our language shapes our culture with new words like attention deficit disorder or gifted have created new dimensions of our culture with the fields of medicine and special education to go along with these labels In masculine cultures gender stereotypes tend to be more rigid and women have less power in society Feminine cultures are more likely to see compromise and negotiation as useful communication tools where masculine cultures may see these tools as signs of weakness In cultures with more decentralized power structure such as Denmark and New Zealand power is more evenly distributed and average people have a chance to participate Some cultures do not tolerate ambiguity well and their members may experience anxiety about the future They minimize the importance of strict rules governing relationships and communication Cultures that focus on the long term versus short term orientations such as Asian emphasize the future and tend to value traits like thrift deferred gratification and perseverance The short term cultures are more interested in spending rather than saving place greater emphasis on social status and look for quick results from their efforts thoughtful attention to what we hear Listening is more complex than just hearing it is the process of giving You need to receive or hear the message you note not only what is said but Types of Communication Are you listening to me also what is missing both words and the tone that accompanies the words such as anger joy and boredom time saying this Understanding occurs when you decode what the speaker is saying You grasp Messages that you receive and understand must be retained for some period of You evaluate the messages that you hear by asking yourself why are they You respond to what has been said The listening process is circular and continues in a loop A good listener listens to both the content and the feelings that are Active listening when one is extremely attentive with good eye contact and associated with that content body language and encourages the other person to continue talking They also paraphrase what the person is saying or ask for clarification and further details Active listener 1 stops 2 looks 3 listens 4 asks questions 5 reflects by paraphrasing expression used skills in their daily lives others Verbal Communication It s all your fault Verbal Communication is the spoken exchange of thoughts feelings or other messages Nonverbal Communication An awkward silence a smile eye contact It includes content of words themselves and the tone and the Happily Married couples showed more effective verbal communication We attach meaning through their experiences and interactions with Read back over page 163 Nonverbal Communication what exactly does that Smile mean holding hands a grimace an erect posture a squint aggressive hand gestures rolling of the eyes ways we communicate without words We use it to convey attitudes and express emotions from love and affection to contempt and disdain although we may not be conscious of these messages Nonverbal communication is more difficult to falsify In intimate relationships our comfort zone of communication is between actual We communicate with more people but we do so only very briefly and we touch and 18 inches Written Electric Communication know less about each of them Sex Differences in Communication Women Patterns Women tend to be more verbal in disclosing their feelings about the Women do not see as much communication disclosure from their partners as relationship men tend towards more physical displays they would like which is partly explains why women show lower rates of satisfaction in marriage then men do Women are more likely to use conversation as a way to establish and maintain They use communication for the purpose of connecting and relating to Women are also more polite in tone ask a greater number of questions and Women are more likely to prefer side by side interactions than the more relationships other people whereas men tend to approach communication as an exchange of information are more likely to show interests and concern using phrases such as I know what you mean confrontational face to face style of interaction of men Men s Patterns information emotions They are authoritative or absolute And use more gestures They talk when they have something to say or need to receive or give Their speech is more instrumental and less likely to convey feelings or Communicating to Keep
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