FAD 2230 EXAM II CH 7 Building Relationships in a changing world Being Single There is a difference between being single by choice or because of circumstance Single a person who has never married is divorced or is widowed Types of single Voluntary Temporary Singles Unmarried adults who may be delaying marriage while pursuing education or establishing a career A choice you make for now EX most college students Voluntary Stable Singles Unmarried adults desiring a single unmarried lifestyle Desire single unmarried lifestyle EX bachelors or bachelorette catholic fathers Involuntary Temporary Singles Singles actively searching for a mate but unable to find a suitable one Doesn t like that they re single want to be married but in the process to find someone Involuntary Stable Singles Unmarried adults who can expect to be single for life even though they may not want to be This person has attempted but has not had a good history so they lost faith in the ability to find someone Friendships Friendships provided valuable support while single and partnered Female friendships more intimate sharing emotions thoughts feelings relationship focused Males friendships less intimate actively focused Crossed sex friendships more common today than in past generations can be complicated with tensions make sure that you re communicative with the people in your life jealousy is healthy in a relationship but not when it is controlling and demanding Evolution of Dating Calling colonial times a young man visiting in a woman s home Family oriented Family played a big role in the match Calling didn t provide privacy between the couple Dating occur in a social settings outside of the home can occur in pairs or in groups Friends oriented The idea of dating began after industrialization when places like restaurants started opening up Cohabitating committed couples who are living together but are not married Who do we date Homogamy people who similar on characteristics such as ethnicity social class values Propinquity geographic closeness Pool of eligibles the pool of people from which we are able to choose mates Determined by homogamy and propinquity EX for college students we seek people that go to our school The pool can change if we move to a new town Views on cohabitation Cohabitation living with a romantic partner without being married Has skyrocketed in the last 15 years Some people view cohabitation as It is a sin because people think of having sex before marriage It makes financial and logistical sense We are getting married in a few months An alternative to marriage just be in a committed relationship EX homosexual that can t get married A testing ground for marriage Cohabitation is linked to Relationships that do not last very long More likely to have unhappy marriages More likely to divorce Reasons Selection effect characteristics of the person are more important than actual cohabitation Characteristic of people who cohabitate very young or get married young people who are in poverty Financial stress is the number one stress in marriage Experience effect the experience of one or more cohabitations is important Experience of cohabitation can have an impact on a future relationship they may carry things into marriage or future relationship Homosexual Relationships Homosexual couples and Heterosexual couples are more alike than different Homosexual couples receive less family support than heterosexual couples but received more friend support Lesbian couples usually have the most equal and least sexualized relationships out of all homosexual and heterosexual couple types Lesbian couples don t focus as much on sex as much as homosexual is CH 8 Love and Loving Relationships What is Love Love A strong affection for one another arising out of kinship or personal ties attraction based on sexual desire and affection based on admiration benevolence or common interests Images of Love in History Romantic love and marriage were often not attached to each other marriage first then came love Ancient Greek Roman mythology did not associate love with marriage Early Christianity did not associate love with marriage saw marriage for social status passing on land or wealth but not romantic love 12th century during the Middle Ages there were some precursors to our notion of romantic love in marriage Feminization of Love The process beginning in the 19th century in which love became associated with the private work of women in the home namely nurturing and caring for family members Industrial Revolution men go to work and experience the stresses of labor outside the home The home becomes a haven of rest for men and women become the keepers of it Thus caregiving and domesticity begin to become evidence of love This is where domesticity came from doing laundry cooking cleaning doing things for their hardworking husband Contemporary Ideas about Love Romantic love a type of love that is characterized by passion melodrama and excitement and which receives a lot of media attention Magazine covers songs something that has to do with attracting a mate Think fo this during the dating phase Companionate Love a type of love that grows over time based on strong commitment friendship and trust Think of this during the commitment phase EX the notebook from young to older there was a deep love towards each other Limerance very intense emotions experienced during the early formation of attachment to an individual During the courting or dating process Symptoms boundless of amounts of energy living off hormones of adrenaline smiles all the time see no flaws in the individual they re with think everything is great Theoretical Perspectives on Love Sociobiology an evolutionary theory that all humans have an instinctive impulse to pass on their genetic material The genetic material requires closeness and intimacy and this happens through attraction Biochemical Perspectives of Love theories that suggest humans are attached to certain types of people at which point the brain releases natural chemicals that give us a rush we experience as sexual attraction EX eating a food we really like we win at something we go shopping we play a sport Our body reinforces through the chemicals We desire to hang out with that special person Love as Attachment Attachment Theory a theory postulating that the way in which infants from attachments early in life will affect relationships throughout later life Infants that have strong bonds with caregivers it will
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