Family Relationships Exam 2 Study Guide (Ch.6-)Chapter 6-communication-an interactive process that uses symbols like words and gestures to both send and receive messages1) communication is a transaction-partners are simultaneously senders and receivers2) communication is a process -always changing, culture, race, ethnicity, sex are important3) communication uses symbols -to construct meanings, words/gestures-race, ethnicity, communication*african american english dialects*different cultures have different nonverbals, ex: in Latin American cultures, children avoid making eye contact with authority figures-social class and communication*upper class-more pronouns*working class-more “like” “but”*slang*differs among age groups-Sapir-Whorf hypothesis-the concept that language shapes our culture, and at the same time, our culture shapes our language*individualist vs. collectivist cultures-values personal achievement and independence, vs. focuses more on needs of the group, goals of group supersede the goals of individual*high vs. low context cultures-emphasis placed on indirect and nonverbal communication, vs emphasis placed on direct communication, formal*masculine vs feminine cultures-emphasize male values (achievement, assertiveness, assertiveness) vs female values (caring, modesty, compromise, negotiation)*centralized vs. decentralized power-power in hands of few vs. many*high vs. low ambiguity-tolerance for ambiguity, anxiety about future, don’t tolerate ambiguity well, or generally comfortable with unknown situations*short-term vs. long-term orientation- how a culture uses and values time, asian cultures-long term, others focus on short term (spending rather than saving, quick results etc.)-listening-the process of giving thoughtful attention to what we hear-active listening-extremely attentive listening, where the listener has good eye contact and body language, and encourages the other person to continue talking5 stage model of listening process-receiving-hearing, attending-understanding-deciphering meaning, learning-remembering-recalling, retaining-evaluating-judging, criticizing-responding-answering, giving feedback-verbal communication-spoken exchange of thoughts, feelings, or other messages*bypassing*lack of precision*overgeneralizing*static evaluation*polarization*biased language-nonverbal communication- communication without words, by using gestures, expressions, and body languagewritten electronic communication-informality is the new norm-writing influences our speech-volume control over messages-more relationships with less depth-we can live in the momentsex differences-women’s patterns*use conversation to maintain and establish relationships*sit next to each other/ look at each other*details, more depth*smile more often*more questions, politer in tone-men’s patterns*consolidate info*to the point*goal is to give information*less likely to convey feelings or emotions*tend to spread their bodies out more-self disclosure-telling a person something private about yourself that he or she would not otherwise know-conflict-disagreements over decision making, problem solving, or achieving goals, which can result from differences between group members in personality, perception, information, tolerance for risk, and power or influence*solvable conflict-on the surface, can be figured out, ex: house chores*perpetual conflict-not changing, values based, ex: wanting children*content issue vs. values and beliefsTypes of Conflict-pseudoconflict-falsely perceiving that our partner is interfering with our goals or has incompatible goals (solvable)-content conflict-individuals disagree about information (solvable)-value conflict-results from differing opinions on subjects that relate to personal values and issues of right or wrong (perpetual)-ego conflict-a type of conflict where individuals believe they must win at all costs to save face (perpetual)*on scale of easy to difficult1. pseudo2. content3. value4. egoPersonal Conflict Styles-avoiding- “leave me alone”-accommodating- “whatever you say” someone is taken advantage of -competing- “my way or the highway” damaging to relationship-compromising- work together, each do a part-collaborating-for both people, work together, goals of both people are achievedIntimacy, Communication, Conflict-John Gottman*studies marriage relationships, some work, some don’t*not passion/excitement that makes them work*noticed it’s the way they fight, communication during conflict* 4 most damaging ( 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse) 1)criticism-insulting character, using absolutes, attacking someone2)defensiveness-defend themselves against attack, stand up for yourself3)contempt-belittling, sarcasm, treating them like a child4)stonewalling- ignoring, no feedback*repair attempt-smile, joke, trying to get back to okay, “I’m sorry”*bids for connection-responding to them is importantregulating couples-use communication to promote closeness and intimacynonregulated couples- couples who have many negative communication exchanges, use them for negativePower and Control-power-the ability to exercise your will-personal power-the degree of autonomy a person has to exercise his or her will-social power-exercise your will over another person-intimate partner power-involves decision making among intimate partners, their division of labor, their sense of entitlement-coersive power-using physical force to get someone to do something-reward power-using incentives to get someone to do something, “prizes”-legitimate power-the power the police, judge has over you, authorityTheories of Power-resource theory-spouse with the more prestigious or higher paying job can use that advantage to generate more power in the relationship and thereby influence decision making-principle of least interest-one with least interest in relationship has more power-relative love and need theory-looks at the way that love itself is feminized, defined, and interpreted-doing gender-suggest that we take power differentials among men and women for granted and continue to reproduce themPower and Control in Gay & Lesbian Relationships-they are more upbeat about conflict-principle of least interest-money not source of power in lesbian relationships-more likely to be egalitarianChapter 7-marriage-legally and socially recognized relationship that includes sexual, economic, and social rights and responsibilities for partners-found in every human societymarriage in
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