FAD 2230 TEST 2Chapter 6: Communication- Communication- the process of exchanging and interpreting ideas and feelingso Assumptions: Family communication is not random- Consistent, repitive patterns Communication is transactional- Exchanging information It is possible not to communicateo Elements Communicator- person who creates and send the message- Individual is a total system- What we wear, body presence, facial expressions, mannerisms, and tone of voice are all forms of info about the communicator Message- unit of information transmitted between sender and receiver- Message may contain thoughts, feelings, ideas, suggestions, and commands- Prepared/encoded by the communicator Medium- way a message is presented to the recipient- Talking, television, texts, note, email, etc…- Message is often determined, to a degree, by the medium Recipient- The recipient is the receiver of the message- The receiver interprets the message, based on his/her personality, life experiences, and relational context- Conflict- requires two options/choiceso Some different definitions: Incompatibility Disagreement Opposition Battle/struggleo Are all conflicts soluble? Solvable- conflict or problem that has a solution- Ex: cutting the grass Perpetual- conflict or problem that within a relationship that can never for solved- Ex: having childreno Avoiding conflict People feel uncomfortable being mad so they do something else instead like over gossiping, eating Passive aggression- when a person expresses anger at someone but does so indirectly rather than directly i.e., chronic, criticism, nagging, sarcasm, forms of sabotage- Sabotage: one partner attempts to spoil or undermine some activity theother has planned- Displacement: a person directs anger at the people or things that otherscherish- Four horseman of the Apocalypseo Contempt- characteristics by the intent to insult or abuse your partner emotionally Ex: rolling your eyes or mocking themo Critism- attacking personality rather than the specific behavioro Defensiveness- defending yourself from a personal attack; will escalate an argument Human instinct to be defensiveo Stonewalling- a person refuses to listen to their partner’s complaints or stories (physically or emotionally) Physically is “im leaving” or “im hanging up on you” Emotionally is “im done with this convo” or looking like you’re not even listeningto the convoo Belligerence- behavior that is provocative and the challenges the spouses power and authority Gottoman later added this after much research Ex: “what can you do if I go out drinking with Dave” “what are you going to do about it”- Gender differences (GOTTMAN)o Report Talk: conversation aimed mainly at conveying information Men usually engage in this form of communication- Men will get to punch line quicker in convoo Rapport talk: speaking to gain or reinforce rapport or intimacy Women usually engage in this form of communication- Process people thoughts and feelings- Ask questions- Can reinforce intimacyo Female-demand/ male withdraw pattern Women: attuned to emotional quality of relationship- More demanding women are, more men fled- Men not being attentive, women pled for more demanding Men: try to minimize conflicto Goals of men and women Women: resolve the conflict with understanding- Want resolution and understanding (intimacy and bonding) Men: avoid a blow upo What women can do.. Use positive affect- Shared humor (release the tension)- Expressions of affection Soften the way she brings up complaint- “thinks have been bothering me, can we talk?”o What men can do…. Do not escalate the argument with.- Defensiveness- Contempt- Belligerence Try to share power in the relationship- accept influence- Communication Researcho PREP Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program Relationship informations and communication skills Skills are what you do...you need to practice them What to watch out for- Ineffective way of complainingo Mind readingo Name callingo “You always…” or “you never…”o Blaming- Communication danger signso Escalationo Put downs/ invalidationo Avoidance/ withdrawal Taking a time out- “we” need to take a time-outo Used to de-escalate a situation- Do something relaxing. Don’t ruminate- Time back inChapter 7: Marriage- Marriage Normso Changing over time Purpose for marriage- Race mutual benefit and fulfillment o Secondary is bearing and raising children- Age same as race Age at marriage- People are getting married closer to 25-26 for women and 28-29 for males from 2000-present- Avg age has been increasing since 1960 Gay and lesbian marriage vs. Civil Unions- More favor of union than marriage- Gays can be in relationships but not the marriage type of man and women Attitude about nonmarital sex Attitude about cohabitation Attitudes about nonmarital childbearing Attitudes about shared breadwinning Attitudes about the Division of Household Laboro Laws regarding marriage Marriage is a state law- All state limit one living husband or wife at a time- Can only remarry if widowed, divorced, or annulled Each state set regulations on age and close relationships Same sex marriage is outlawed in many states Some states have domestic partner laws- Legal and emotional benefits Same-sex couples and legal marriage- Defense of Marriage Act ( DOMA, 1996)o Federal statue declaring marriage to be a “legal union of one man and one women”- Allows states to refuse to grant reciprocity concerning same-sex marriageo If married in another state, then the govt of that state does not have to abide the law of that state for gayso Preparing for marriage Current trends- Increase in divorce rates- Decrease in marital satisfaction Prevention methods:- Changed in policy and laws - Family life education- Premarital education/counselingo State offers incentive for attending- Marital Relationshipso Marriage What is marriage?- A close intimate union; a relationship between husband and wife- As a law: contract upon a voluntary private agreement by a man and a women to become husband and wife A legal contract Considered the basis of a family unit Vital to the preservation of morals and civilizationo Patterns of marriage Parallel relationships pattern: assume traditional roles, little intimacy, live parallel lives- Not very valued today.
View Full Document