Chapter 11 Power and Violence in Marriages and Families Power What is power Who has power Who doesn t have power Types of Power Coercive Power Reward Power Expert Power Informational power o Power that individuals have to punish another individual To force them to do anything o Power someone has that can reward someone with praise or attention o A professor has expert power over classroom because they have knowledge of subject o Power you have when you have information someone doesn t have o Negative black mail o Positive Heard that smoking is bad for you on the radio so you go home and share the o You don t have to be an expert to tell someone about smoking or health you heard the information information so you share it Referent Power o Someone who doesn t have much power gives to a person in more authority Ex We might have referent power to the president People who refer to someone with more power Legitimate Power o Given to someone by another body person or identity Ex Police officers are given power by the state of Florida to arrest people Marital Power First studied in 1950 s Blood and Wolfe interviewed wives only Resource hypothesis the spouse with more resources has more power in marriages What resources do spouses bring o Women bring resources to relationship love care nurturance domestic duties cleaning o Men resources were valued more at that time they expect men to make more decisions and to have more power Study Results Most families 72 had relatively egalitarian decision making structure Men brought more resources but women perceived that they have more power to make decisions 25 Husbands made decisions 3 wives made decisions Criticisms of Study What domains men and women have power over Women food shopping cleaning Husbands where they live jobs finances Having the power to make trivial decisions is not the same as having the power to make important ones Resources and Gender Men tend to have more resources o Money o Education o Status o Physical strength o Alternatives to marriage children Much more accepted for men to be bachelor it s okay for men to not want to have o Women tend to be most equal with men at the beginning of marriage o First pregnancy and birth diminishes women s resources Female may take time off and low income Dependent on males to be father and earner Have less energy to resist dominance of husband Culture Resources and Gender Resource theory does not explain everything Culture gives husbands absolute legitimate power Interaction of legitimate and resource power Legitimacy and Resources Culture gives power husband greater resources husband dominant o Society says that men husbands should be powerful Culture gives power husband less resources husband dominant o Legitimate power given by culture will make husband dominant Culture does not give power husband greater resources husband probably dominant o Because of resource theory the husband will probably likely to be dominant o Whoever has resources have more power Culture does not give power husband less resources egalitarian marriage or wife dominant o Equal marriage 75 of the time we see that there s an expectation that a man is dominant Power and Social Class Most classes perceive that they have egalitarian marriages Why would middle class marriages be egalitarian Why would lower class marriages be egalitarian High class are less likely to be egalitarian o One individual makes a lot of money and the other doesn t o They can survive off one income Both middle and lower class most likely that both partners have to work to bring resources so both have power Future of Marital Power Working women are happier in their marriages o More financial freedom o Psychosocial benefits Mutually economically dependent couples o Couples in which each partner earns 40 to 50 of the couples o Dual income couples Women s resources may be increase in value caring emotional support warmth nurturing Equality between men and women may occur in overall society Four Couple Types Heterosexual married heterosexual cohabitating lesbian and gay Married and cohabitating heterosexuals least egalitarian Gay and lesbian share domestic duties more including child rearing Gays more competitive lesbians more relationally focused o Amplification of traditional male roles that men tend to be competitive Types of Marriages Peer marriages o 60 40 Near peer marriages o Influenced by arrival of children and maximizing income Traditional marriages o Husband dominated but wife okay with it Power and Intimacy Intimacy is greatest when power is equal No power equal power in relationship Seek to negotiate and compromise not to win Power Politics How do spouses exert power in a marriage o Leaving threatening o Withholding distancing o Pouting sulking o Infidelity Accumulation of power politics leads to loneliness and distance in marriage o At least for one individual if not both Alternatives to Power Politics Partners take charge of separate domains o May decrease intimacy o Reinforces separateness Subordinate spouse disengages from power struggles More powerful partner relinquish some power to save or enhance the marriage o Because I love my partner I m going to let go of my power o Easiest way to solve o Sharing of power that one partner has over the other Family Violence All forms of abuse have at their center the exploitation of a power difference o Ex Children that are abused are usually from someone with higher power o Children are told to listen to adults Child abuse elder abuse husband abuse Dating violence domestic violence sexual coercion Three phase Cycle of Violence Tension resulting from minor altercation builds over a period of time o Normal to have tension build up o Talk about it let things go accept differences with people and become patient Situation escalates exploding into another violence episode o Could be sexual violence dating violence Violent person becomes contrite treating his her spouse or partner lovingly o The violent person becomes contrite apologetic In our society we re taught that no one is perfect and that you don t abandon relationships especially family relationships Power and Control Wheel Picture On outside it s violence In center power and control Isolating someone is a sign of control I don t like you hanging out with those people o When individuals feel like they don t bring a lot to the relationship o Resources can be financial education Why Abusers Do It Feelings of powerlessness Lack of resources
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