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Chapter 7 Building Relationships Never married Never engaged in actual legal emotional aspect of marriage Being single Single a person who has never married is divorced or is widowed There is a difference between being single by choice or because of circumstance Types of Single Voluntary temporary singles unmarried adults who may be delaying marriage while pursuing Voluntary stable singles unmarried adults desiring a single unmarried lifestyle Example catholic priests who take celibacy Involuntary temporary singles singles actively searching for a mate but unable to find a suitable Doesn t like being single wants to married trying to find suitable partner Involuntary stable singles unmarried adults who can expect to be single for life even though Hasn t had a great dating past accepted that they are going to be single Friendships Friendships provide valuable support while single and partnered Female friendships more intimate relationship focused Male friendships less intimate sharing of emotion thoughts feelings activity focused Focus 0 0 1 0 education or establishing a career 1 0 2 one 0 3 they may not want to be 0 0 1 2 on common activities sports etc 3 tensions 0 friendships with your cross sex friends Cross sex friendships more common today than in past generations can be complicated with Tension can arise when you have a partner who is jealous protective insecure about your 0 0 1 2 1 0 1 2 2 0 1 2 0 1 0 0 1 0 2 0 0 1 Evolution of Dating Calling a young man visiting in a woman s home During colonial times This visit occurred with the woman s family around There was no privacy when the man visited the woman Dating occur in social settings outside of the home can occur in pairs or in groups Urbanization industrial revolution Dating moved outside the home and moved to social settings restaurants parlors Where dating included groups pairs and even their friends as well Cohabitating committed couples who are living but are not married Times have changed with technology Even if your partner is far away relationship can still work We can date people long distance now planes trains cars Forms of communication email texting calling Skype face time Facebook We can reconnect with people easily now compared to back then Technology could cause trouble in relationships Who do we date Homogamy people who are similar on characteristics such as ethnicity social class values People usually date people who are similar to themselves Propinquity geographic closeness We date people who are close to us people we go to school with work with Pool of eligible the pool of people from which we are able to choose our mates Based on your geographical location ethnicity social class and value Example you attend FSU school body is your pool of eligible Pool constantly changes throughout your life when you move change school work 0 Cohabitation Cohabitation living with a romantic partner without being married Must have clear expectations on why they are living together Intention on living together does matter one might think this is taking the relationship further to Views on Cohabitation It is a sin The living together is not the sin but the assumption of being physical with each other It makes financial and logistical sense Couple spending a lot of time together and realize it is logistically easier to just live together 0 0 1 0 financially 1 2 the next step marriage 2 0 3 0 a committed relationship and we are happy so we are going to live together 0 4 0 1 Example homosexual relationships A testing ground for marriage Problematic may not be as committed to that relationship Not a clear sense of commitment We are getting married in a few months Making the transition earlier to live together An alternative to marriage The idea is that we are not changing the status of our relationship there is no next level we are in 0 1 2 0 0 0 1 1 0 0 marriage Cohabitation is linked to Relationships that do not last very long More likely to have unhappy marriages More likely to divorce Reasons Selection effect characteristics of the person are more important than actual cohabitation Example people who are younger are more likely to cohabitate before marriage When people marry very young this is linked more likely to divorce Example People in poverty cohabitate more likely than people who are not in poverty Experience effect the experience of one or more cohabitations is important Example Cohabitation is successful and fulfilling for that individual they don t need marriage Experience whether positive or negative about cohabitation can influence someone views on 0 0 how to raise a child 1 friend support 2 homosexual and heterosexual couple types Homosexual Relationships Homosexual couples and heterosexual couples are more alike then different Issues in homosexual relationships occur in heterosexual relationships as well jealousy finances Homosexual couples receive less family support than heterosexual couples but received more Lesbian couples usually have the most equal and least sexualized relationships out of all Chapter 8 Love and Loving Relationships 0 0 sexual desire and affection based on admiration benevolence or common interests What is love Love a strong affection for one another arising out of kinship or personal ties attraction based on 1 0 0 1 Images of love in history Romantic love and marriage were often not attached to each other Love didn t always come before marriage Ancient Greek and roman mythology did not associate love with marriage 0 1 2 0 3 marriage Love fantasy beauty Often not the idea of a man and woman coming together in a relationship Love wasn t a prerequisite before marriage Early Christianity did not associate love with marriage Marriage was based on social status family approval 12th century during the Middle Ages there were some precursors to our notion of romantic love in Feminization of Love The process beginning in the 19th century in which love became associated with the private 2 0 work of women in the home namely nurturing and caring for family member 0 Industrial revolution men go to work and experience the stresses of labor outside the home 1 caregiving and domesticity begin to become evidence of love The home becomes a haven of rest for men and women become the keepers of it Thus Contemporary Ideas about Love Romantic love a type of love that is characterized by passion melodrama and excitement and Companionate love a type of love that grows over time based on strong commitment


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FSU FAD 2230 - Chapter 7: Building Relationships

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