Exam 2 Chapters 7 13 Chapter 7 Types of Singles Single a person who has never married is divorced or is widowed There is a difference between being single by choice or because of circumstance Voluntary Temporary Singles Unmarried adults who may be delaying marriage while pursuing education or establishing a career Voluntary Stable Singles Unmarried adults desiring a single unmarried lifestyle Includes same sex couples who are not in a place where their marriage is legal Ireland became the first country to legalize same sex marriage Involuntary Temporary Singles Singles actively searching for a mate but unable to find a suitable one Involuntary Stable Singles Unmarried adults who can expect to be single for life even though they may not want to be Friendships Friendships provide valuable support while single and partnered Female friendships more intimate relationship focused Male friendships less intimate activity focused Cross sex friendships more common today than in past generations can be complicated with tensions Evolution of Dating During Colonial times interactions between those of the opposite sex were highly supervised either at a home or in a public setting This would give women a lot of power because they could choose who was allowed to call or visit their home All the responsibility was on the men Calling young man visiting in a woman s home In the Industrialized America around mid 19th century cars became more affordable giving young people a chance to socialize outside of the home Men would initiate plan and pay for date Woman was responsible for controlling the mans behavior sexual advances Dating occur in social settings outside of the home can occur in pairs or in groups The major difference in dating in the past to now is that dating doesn t have to lead to marriage This lack of formality in dating led to cohabitating Cohabitating committed couples who are living together but are not married Who do we date Homogamy people who are similar on characteristics such as ethnicity social class age values Propinquity geographic closeness We tend to date marry people whom we interact with on a more regular basis Pool of eligibles the pool of people from which we are able to choose mates For whites the amount of unmarried men and women is roughly equal providing ample opportunities to find a partner Black women far out number the eligible black men pool of eligibles is smaller Going to FSU a large school makes your pool larger than someone who goes to a smaller school or doesn t attend college at all Cohabitation living with a romantic partner without being married Has dramatically increased since the 1960 s and 70 s People cohabit for multiple reasons including convenience economic considerations a substitution for marriage Studies show those who cohabit are likely to be younger have less education lower household incomes less likely to have children living with them have a female partner who is 6 years older than the male partner who earns more and is more highly educated twice as likely to be interracial Views on cohabitation It is a sin It makes financial and logistical sense We are getting married in a few months An alternative to marriage A testing ground for marriage Cohabitation is linked to Reasons Relationships that do not last very long Although 2 3 of marriages begin in cohabitation only about of cohabitating relationships end in a marriage within 3 years More likely to have unhappy marriages More likely to divorce Selection effect characteristics of the person are more important than actual cohabitation Who we chose is more important than actually living with somebody We can learn to live with somebody ex random college roommates Experience effect the experience of one or more cohabitations is important Homosexual Relationships Homosexual couples and Heterosexual couples are more alike than different Homosexual couples receive less family support than heterosexual couples but received more friend support Lesbian couples usually have the most equal and least sexualized relationships out of all homosexual and heterosexual couple types Most issues that come up in relationships have something to do with High expectations let down low expectations low standards self esteem no Often we do not know or communicate our expectations until they have been Expectations expectations expectations complacent violated Problems with expectations Expectations are not a bad thing to have because it keeps our standards high and also means we require things from a partner for a relationship to keep it well Expectations are problems when 1 Unaware no clue what our expectations are 2 Unreasonable off the wall expectations 3 Unspoken we know our expectations but don t communicate them to our partner tip of the iceberg example Common expectations Clashes 1 Men s vs women s roles 2 Contact with previous partners 3 Money 4 Standards of cleanliness 5 Time spent together Are your expectations realistic How do you know this What if you believe your expectation is realistic and your partner does not Do you have a bottom line dealbreaker If expectation IS valid but has been violated then approach your partner in such a manner I would appreciate it if you would or I would really prefer that you Common unrealistic expectations Mindreading is expected Disagreement is destructive Partners relationships cannot change Sexual perfectionism Sexes are different Common realistic expectations Loyalty Fidelity Trust Honesty Good communication Conflict in relationship not always a bad thing Safety emotional psychological physical Deal with Expectations 1 Are you aware of them 2 Are they reasonable 3 Have you spoken to your partner about them 4 Are both of you willing to meet the other person s most important and reasonable expectations Chapter 8 Love A strong affection for one another arising out of kinship or personal ties attraction based on sexual desire and affection based on admiration benevolence or common interests Based on affection and emotion includes a feeling of obligation You intend it to be long lasting Put them in a different category than others their special Help them when they need you physically and emotionally Love In History Romantic love and marriage were often not attached to each other Ancient Greek Roman mythology did not associate love with marriage used marriage solely for reproduction Early Christianity did not associate love with marriage married for practical reasons and
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