FAD2230 Lecture 12Outline of Last LectureI. Homosexual RelationshipsII. Love and Loving RelationshipsIII. Love in historyIV. Feminization of LoveV. Love as attachmentVI. Types of attachment: ChildrenVII. Types of attachment: AdultsVIII. Contemporary ideas about loveOutline of Current LectureI. Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of LoveII. Triangular Theory: III. Lee’s Style of LoveIV. Reiss’s Wheel of LoveV. Needs and LoveVI. Needs Go WrongCurrent LectureSternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love Intimacy Passion CommitmentTriangular Theory: -Love has 3 elements : intimacy, commitment, and passiono Intimacy: closeness and sharingo Passion: intensive physical and emotional drive (comes fast leaves fast)o Commitment: decision to be in a relationship-Have to have all 3Lee’s Style of Love-Exos: passionate, strong, physical, attraction-Storge- compassionate, mutual love, respect, trust-Pragma- practical, sensible-Ludus- playful, carefree, casual ( summer love )-Agape- air rustic, kind, patient ( God loves us) (parent-child)-Mania- Obsessive, possessive, intenseReiss’s Wheel of LovePersonality NeedFulfillment- Rapport- building relationships based on mutual trust and respect( sitting next to someone in class )- Self Revelation- sharing intimate information about oneself( oh, how long have you guys been dating ?)- Mutual dependency- desire to spend more time together( want to study together ?)- Personality/ Need fulfillment- satisfy a majority of each others emotional needsNeeds and Love- Legitimate needs/ being needs are needs that arise un the present rather than out of deficits accumulate in the past- Emotional support in understanding, companionship, sexual sharing, - Illegitimate needs/ deficiency – needs arise from feelings of self-doubt, unworthiness, and inadequacy. (starts from hurts in the past)o These needs are insatiable (not going to happen)Needs Go WrongSelf RevelationRapportMutual dependency- Marrying- maintaining a relationship by consistently ignoring ones own legitimate needs, while trying to satisfy all of the partners needs (legitimate + illegitimate)- Manipulating- seeking to control the feeling attitudes and behavior of your
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