FAD2230 Lecture 12 Outline of Last Lecture I Homosexual Relationships II Love and Loving Relationships III Love in history IV Feminization of Love V Love as attachment VI Types of attachment Children VII Types of attachment Adults VIII Contemporary ideas about love Outline of Current Lecture I Sternberg s Triangular Theory of Love II Triangular Theory III Lee s Style of Love IV Reiss s Wheel of Love V Needs and Love VI Needs Go Wrong Current Lecture Sternberg s Triangular Theory of Love Intimacy Passion Commitment Triangular Theory Love has 3 elements intimacy commitment and passion o Intimacy closeness and sharing o Passion intensive physical and emotional drive comes fast leaves fast o Commitment decision to be in a relationship Have to have all 3 Lee s Style of Love Exos passionate strong physical attraction Storge compassionate mutual love respect trust Pragma practical sensible Ludus playful carefree casual summer love Agape air rustic kind patient God loves us parent child Mania Obsessive possessive intense Reiss s Wheel of Love Personality Need Fulfillment Mutual dependency Rapport Self Revelation Rapport building relationships based on mutual trust and respect sitting next to someone in class Self Revelation sharing intimate information about oneself oh how long have you guys been dating Mutual dependency desire to spend more time together want to study together Personality Need fulfillment satisfy a majority of each others emotional needs Needs and Love Legitimate needs being needs are needs that arise un the present rather than out of deficits accumulate in the past Emotional support in understanding companionship sexual sharing Illegitimate needs deficiency needs arise from feelings of self doubt unworthiness and inadequacy starts from hurts in the past o These needs are insatiable not going to happen Needs Go Wrong Marrying maintaining a relationship by consistently ignoring ones own legitimate needs while trying to satisfy all of the partners needs legitimate illegitimate Manipulating seeking to control the feeling attitudes and behavior of your partners
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