FAD2230 Exam II Study Guide 1 Chapter 6 Conflict and Communication Communication Definition The process of exchanging and interpreting ideas and feelings o Exchange two way process o Even if you communicate with someone and they don t respond they are still sending message ex They are mad disinterested letting you finish o Interpreting how I view something you communicate can be very different then what others view o Ideas and feelings communicating how you feel or ideas Helps build relationships Negative communication can be disruptive to relationships What is communication o Texting what you wear talking to someone facial expression body language What are some characteristics of communication o There s positive and negative Open and closed Example o I did not tell Pam that Jim is stupid o If you emphasize one word from this you can get a different meaning from it o Emphasize Pam and what you get out of that is that you didn t tell Pam that but you told Michael or Dwight Communication Assumptions Family communication is not random o Consistent repetitive patterns o Ex If you need money you probably know who to ask and who not to ask Communication is transactional o Exchanging information o Ex Go to bank to give money they give you deposit slip in return It is impossible not to communicate o Ex When you re on an elevator you know them but not too well You re stuck with them for a couple floors you might stand there and not say anything but both are still communicating We don t really talk to each other o Ex Walking down sidewalk next to someone and right when you re about to pass you can say hi to someone but you decide not to Elements of Communication The communicator The message The medium The recipient Communicator The person who creates and send the message FAD2230 Exam II Study Guide o Individual is a total system 2 An individual who is unique and an individual is comprised of total number of different components and different parts including intelligence level education level values all comes to play when individual is sending message o What we wear body presence facial expressions mannerisms and tone of voice are all forms of information about the communicator we re about to have When we wear nice outfits we are communicating we value ourselves and the event Message Medium Recipient context Communication The message is the unit of information transmitted between sender and receiver Message may contain thoughts feelings ideas suggestions or commands Prepared encoded by the communicator The medium is the way a message is presented to the recipient Talking television text message note e mail etc Message is often determined to a degree by the medium o Texting the word fine can be a lot of different things The recipient is the receiver of the message The receiver interprets the message based on his her personality life experiences and the relational o Relational context type of relationship they re in o You may interpret message from parents differently from your friends Left of diagram as communicator has communication has a communication background which is the Private domain all occur in the individual s mind it s not a behavior that s public Middle part is the behavior that is public that is visible to recipient Private domain of recipient they have to decode message how to message is decoded is based on that person s communication background o Requires two options choices o Conflicts in your calendar two different appointments at the same time Conflict What is a conflict Some different definitions o Incompatibility o Disagreement o Opposition FAD2230 Exam II Study Guide 3 o Battle o Struggle Are conflicts healthy Why All relationships have conflicts It s how we handle conflict is a problem Jon Gottman found that fighting or airing out grievances and complaints is one of the healthiest things that a couple can do for their relationship o The conflicts won t be resolved and will repeat o Understanding can create bond in relationship o Conflict can build up resentment and built up anger creates sense of separation in relationship Where does conflict come from Only tip of iceberg a third or 20 of iceberg is visible It s hard to imagine there s anything below the surface What you don t see that s supporting the top part it the two thirds or 75 at the bottom Ex Perceiving attitude People fighting about money it s not about the money but it s about the value we have for the money Other factors are cultures different values We have our own communication style Some are very communicative about thoughts and feelings and others are closed Moods have very big influence on what we fight about Expectations in relationships may cause conflict Are all conflicts solvable Solvable conflict or problem that has a solution o Ex Cutting the grass o If you need the grass cut you could cut partner could or lawn service Perpetual conflict of problem that within a relationship that can never be solved o Ex Having children o Ex Personality differences we shouldn t change our partner They should have the initiative to do that on their own Avoiding Conflict Anger insteads people feel uncomfortable being mad so they do something else instead like over eating gossiping talking about the problem to everyone except the person o Maybe sometimes abusing drugs or alcohols Passive Aggression When a person expresses anger at someone but does so indirectly rather than directly i e Chronic criticism nagging sarcasm forms of sabotage o Sabotage One partner attempts to spoil or undermine some activity the other has planned One partner has a fun evening planned with friends other partner is upset The person going out gets a text that initiate s a fight o Displacement A person directs anger at the people or things that the other cherishes You re angry at a friend so you forget to pay a bill that they asked you Kick their dog or the person s things FAD2230 Exam II Study Guide Four Horseman of the Apocalypse 4 Conquest Death War and Famine Christian bible four signs that represent the end of the world If you can see a large form of these negative communication patterns he could predict divorce in couples Gottman believe that the end of the relationship is coming Contempt characterized by the intent to insult or abuse your partner emotionally o Ex Rolling eyes or mocking Criticism Attacking personality rather than the specific behavior o Ex You re so lazy that s attacking someone s personality o I was very
View Full Document
Unlocking...