Family Relationships Green from just the book not notes Yellow all vocab Italicized from class but not vocab usually just random facts Chapter 6 10 1 2012 Video in class communication in relationships Communication interactive process that uses symbols like words and gestures to both send and receive messages Communication is a transaction a process includes co construction of meanings and uses symbols The cultural text of communication Sapir Whorf Hypothesis the concept that language shapes our culture and at the same time our culture shapes our language Breaking code changing from your comfortable dialect to another way of speaking like during an interview you talk different than you do to your friends Types of communication Listening process of giving thoughtful attention to what we hear 5 components of listening 1 you need to hear the message 2 decode what the speaker is saying 3 retain message for a period of time 4 evaluate message 5 respond to message Active listening when body language shows that you re paying attention Parts of active listening Good eye contact being attentive being able to paraphrase what someone said to you Verbal communication the spoken exchange of thoughts feelings or other messages Bypassing misunderstanding which can occur when words have multiple meanings Overgeneralizing sweeping generalizations like always and never Polarization looking at things as black or white Lack of precision mistaking one word or phrase for another prescription for proscription Static evaluation being reminded of something from the past Non verbal communication communication without words Self disclosure telling your partner something private about yourself Women use more eye contact than women Men use the process of just getting answers rather than trying to build the relationship Men are more likely to be more assertive finding the point of a conversation while women add details that attempt to build relationship Women are more likely to use both sides of their brain men are more likely to use the left hemisphere Conflict communication and problem solving Conflict when members of a group disagree over decision making problem solving or achieving goals which can result from diff btwn group members in personality perception information tolerance for risk and power influence Gautmen said that conflict is either a problem you can solve or one with no solution Types of conflict Pseudo conflict falsely feeling that our partner is interfering with our goals or has incompatible goals Content conflict individuals disagree about info Value conflict politics Results from differing opinions on subjects that relate to personal values Ego conflict individuals believe they must win at all costs to save face most difficult type to solve KNOW the order of which are easier to solve to which are hardest Table 6 4 personal conflict styles Avoiding lose lose just leave me alone Accommodating lose win whatever you say Competing win lose its my way or the highway Compromising lose lose ill do some if you do some Collaborating win win lets find something that works for both of us Intimacy communication and conflict 4 horsemen of the apocalypse 1 Criticism 2 Defensiveness 3 Stonewalling completely withdraw silent treatment 4 Contempt and belligerence trying to establish power by making someone feel inferior eyerolling Regulating couples use communication to promote closeness and intimacy Nonregulated couples have many negative communication exchanges use the 4 things above Power control and decision making Power ability to exercise will over someone else Personal power degree of autonomy a person has to exercise his or her will Social power ability to exercise your will over another person Intimate partner power involves decision making among intimate partners division of labor and sense of entitlement Power ability to exercise your will Theories of power Resource theory suggests that the spouse with more money can generate more power in the relationship and thereby influence decision making Principle of least interest person who cares the least has more power doing gender suggests that we take power differentials among men and women for granted and continue to reproduce them simply because they are so ingrained Relative love and need theory suggests that each partner brings resources to the relationship Chapter 7 Marriage Marriage legally socially recognized relationship that includes sexual economic and social rights and responsibilities for partners Colonial America Marriage and the formation of a nation Idea behind marriage as the founders of the government explained it marriage is a heterosexual union Redefining marriage in the 19th century Idea of marriage as just man woman was first challenged marriage isn t just for one man and one woman we need to broaden our definition We didn t do it until later though Marriage after the industrial revolution marriage is based more on love and less on economic aspects Sexual revolution delayed the age of marriage marriage isn t just for procreation Marital decline perspective view that the institution of marriage is increasingly being threatened by pursuits of personal happiness at the expense of long term commitment Instant gratification I was sure I was happy last month but this month I m not so happy so I m leaving We don t really favor the idea of commitment we care about our own happiness more Marital resilience perspective view that overall marriage isn t weaker than the past but that all families need an increase in structural supports Marriages need more resources to help get through tough times Homogamous marriage spouses share certain social characteristics such as race ethnicity age social class Heterogamous marriage spouses do not share social characteristics Interracial marriage spouses from different racial groups Used to be illegal Antimiscegenation laws laws forbidding interracial marriage which existed at the state level until 1967 Interethnic marriages spouses come from different countries or have different cultural religious or ethnic backgrounds Marriage across social class boundaries Civil union public policy designed to extend some benefits to partners who are not legally married Marriage premium concept that married people are happier healthier and financially better off Selection effect the idea that people who marry may be different than those who do not for example they may be happier healthier Health Economic security
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