Chapter 6 Communication conflict and power in our relationships Communication An interactive process that uses symbols like words and gestures to both send and receive messages o 1 Communication is a transaction o 2 Process o 3 Uses symbols Race ethnicity and Communication Social class and communication Sapir Whorf hypothesis The concept that language shapes our culture and at the same time our culture shapes our language Cultural differences Individualist versus Collectivist cultures individualist values personal achievement and independence vs needs of the group High versus Low context cultures more emphasis based on non verbal communication also collectivist cultures vs communication is more direct and everything must be explained explicitly Masculine versus feminine cultures emphasize stereotypical values like assertiveness material success achievement Mexican culture vs see compromise and negotiation as useful Centralized versus decentralized power Few people have power India vs power is evenly distributed High versus low ambiguity high is comfortable with unknown situations minimize the strict rules governing communication vs experience anxiety about the future clear cut rules of behavior Short term versus long term time orientation value spending rather then saving and social status quick results vs long term emphasizes working hard to achieve your goals and have a future Types of communication Listening the process of giving thoughtful attention to what we hear Verbal communication the spoken exchange of thoughts feelings or other messages 5 stage model of the Listening process Good listening is a collection of skills and occurs in a circular function Receiving understanding remembering evaluating responding Nonverbal communication communication without words by using gestures expressions and body language Written electronic communication Conflict communication and problem solving Informality is the new norm writing more informally Our writing influences our speech We have volume control over our messages We have more relationships with less depth We can live in the moment Conflict Disagreements over decision making problem solving or achieving goals which can result from differences between group members in personality perception information tolerance for risk and power or influence Types of conflict o Pseudo conflict Falsely perceiving that your partner is interfering with your goals or has incompatible goals roommate wants to go out and you have to study o Content conflict a type of conflict where individuals disagree about information fight about pronunciation of Bieber o Value conflict a type of conflict that results from differing opinions on subjects that relate to personal values and issues of right or wrong o Ego conflict a type of conflict where individuals believe they must win at all costs to save face Personal conflict styles book Avoiding just leave me alone Accommodating whatever you say Competing its my way or the highway Compromising ill do some of this is you do some of that Collaborating lets work on finding the best solution for both of us Intimacy communication and conflict Regulating couples couples who use communication to promote closeness and intimacy Nonrelated couples couples who have negative communication 4 horseman of the apocalypse John Gottman Criticism negative evaluations Contempt attitude of feeling superior to your spouse Defensiveness effort to defend yourself and your position when you feel attacked Stonewalling ignoring and not talking to one another Flooded you get so angry you say something you regret or physically harm them you take a time out Power and control Power the ability to exercise your will Personal power The degree of autonomy a person has to exercise his or her will Social power the ability to exercise your will over another person Intimate partner power a type of power that involves decision making among intimate partners their division of labor and their sense of entitlement Theories of power Resource theory a theory of power that suggests that the spouse with the higher paying job can use that advantage to generate more power in the relationship and thereby influence decision making Principle of least interest Doing gender a theory of power that suggests that we take power differentials among men and women for granted continue to reproduce them how are women displayed in the media Marriage a legally and socially recognized relationship that includes sexual economic and social rights and responsibilities for partners Chapter 7 Marriage Marriage in U S history Colonial America Marriage and the formation of a nation Redefining Marriage in the 19th century Marriage after the Industrial revolution What is happening to marriage today Marital decline perspective the view that the institution of marriage is increasingly being threatened by hedonistic pursuits of personal happiness at the expense of long term commitment Marital Resilience perspective the view that overall marriage is no weaker than in the past but that all families need an increase in structural supports over time Marriage rates only about 4 never get married o Most people who get married stay married and say that they are happy o If you get married later you are more likely to stay together longer Delayed marriage Homogamous versus Heterogamous o Starter marriage under 5 years no children usually get remarried within 3 years or so o Homogamous marriage share characteristics like race ethnicity religion education age and social class o Less divorce rate o Heteragamous marriage type of marriage that do not share certain Interracial and interethnic marriages o Interracial marriage a type of marriage in which spouses come from characteristics different racial groups o Antimiscegenation laws laws forbidding interracial marriage which existed at the state level until 1967 Marriage across social class boundaries o You are more likely to date people like you Interfaith marriages o Less problems in the US than other countries o As society there is more acceptance Same sex marriage Massachusetts first state to accept ssm Civil union a public policy designed to extend some benefits to partners who are not legally married Chapter 7 Marriage continued Marriage premium concept married people are happier healthier financially better off then unmarried o Selection effect hypothesis that people are likely to marry might be more suitable they are happier healthier and have
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