Cole Friedes FAD 2230 Exam 2 Study Guide Chapter 6 Communication Conflict and Power The Importance of Communication Most problems in marriage stem from ineffective communication between partners Communication the interactive process that uses symbols like words and gestures to both send and receive messages There are four main general concepts of communication 1 Communication is a transaction all human behavior is a continuous exchange 2 Communication is a process it is dynamic and always changing depending on sex race culture ethnicity etc 3 Communication includes co construction of meanings two people can hear two completely different things 4 Communication uses symbols used to construct meanings or definitions Cultural Context of Communication Sapir Whorf Hypothesis the concept that language shapes our culture and at the same time our culture shapes our language Ex if you lived in the 1950 s and tried to tell someone to just Google it then they wouldn t understand The differences in culture is affected by its language used and vice versa Race and ethnicity also greatly affect communication People from different races or even different geographical locations use different dialects Ex Ebonics or a southern slang Breaking Code refers to when you change from your natural dialect to more proper English when talking to a potential employer certain audience Types of Communication Listening the process of giving thoughtful attention to what we hear To actually be listening to must do the following 1 Must receive message 2 Must understand and decode it 3 Must retain message for a period of time 4 We need to evaluate the message 5 We must respond to the message Active Listening when you are extremely attentive with god eye contact and body language and encourage the other person to continue talking If you are able to paraphrase what someone has said you are actively listening Verbal Communication the spoken exchange of thought feelings or other messages We typically tend to believe body language more than verbal communication and we can recognize feedback more appropriately via body language Ex If you are texting on your phone while listening to your friend talk about her day she can tell you aren t actually interested even if you say you are The amount of personal space a person gives takes away also says a lot about the message received and the level of comfort between the two people Culture has a major influence on how non verbal communication is interpreted Ex in the U S it is polite to make eye contact while talking to someone but in other cultures it can be seen as extremely disrespectful As culture has become more modern we have become more dependent upon technology as a form of communication This can lead to difficulty interpreting the true emotions of the conversation Sex Differences in Communication Women typically use communication to build and establish relationships they communicate to connect and relate to other people while men approach communication as a way to receive vital information Women are more likely to smile make eye contact and make facial expressions and use their bodies more Men are straight to the point and assertive with their communication When communicating women use both sides of brain while men primarily use the left hemisphere analytical side Conflict Communication and Problem Solving Conflict disagreements over decision making problem solving or achieving goals which can result from difference between group members John Gottman claims the way couples solve conflict can reflect upon the future of the relationship Conflict can either be solvable or perpetual There are many different types of conflict Pseudoconflict when we falsely perceive that our partner is interfering with our goals or has incompatible goals easiest conflict to manage Content Conflict occurs when we disagree about information Ex you believe the party starts at 8 but your partner thinks it starts at 9 harder to manage than pseudoconflict Value Conflict results from the differing opinions on personal and core topics such as politics or religious beliefs harder to manage than content conflict Ego Conflict arises when the individual believes they need to win at all costs most difficult to manage Conflict Styles see figure 6 4 in book Avoiding style leave me alone lose lose Accommodating style whatever you say lose win Competing style my way or the highway win lose Compromising style if you do I ll do lose lose Collaborating style lets work on finding a solution win win Intimacy Communication and Conflict Gottman claims that if the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse all exist together bad relationship 1 Criticism making negative evaluations of your spouse s behavior feelings 2 Defensiveness defending yourself when you feel attacked in an argument 3 Stonewalling withdrawal technique the silent treatment ignoring spouse 4 Contempt Belligerence trying to establish power making the other person feel inferior to you typically with non verbal behavior Principle of Least Interest Possible to suffer emotional flooding where you are filled with emotions and burst out something you regret Regulating Couples use communication and to promote closeness and intimacy Non Regulated Couples have many negative communication exchanges Power Control and Decision Making Power the ability to exercise your will Personal Power the degree of autonomy a person has to exercise his or her own will Ex I can control myself from eating the whole pizza Social Power the ability to exercise your will over another person Ex cops have authority over typical citizens Intimate Partner Power involves decision making among intimate partners their division of labor and their sense of entitlement Power Theories Resource Theory suggest that the spouse with the more prestigious or higher paying job has more leverage in decision making Chapter 7 Marriage Marriage legally and socially recognized relationship that includes sexual economic and social rights and responsibilities for partners Every society has some form of marriage Marriage in United States History Founding fathers established marriage as a free choice heterosexual relationship that established the father as the head of the household In the 19th century the first thoughts of challenging the ideals of traditional marriage Polygamists argued that they needed more than 1 husband wife because just having one isolated the couple from community The Industrial Revolution forced
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