Chapter 71. Define the affiliation motive.- Affiliation motive: the desire to be near others and to have pleasant and affectionate interactions with themo Being with others, expressing feelings and ideas, and getting others’ approval2. Describe the experience sampling method of studying friendship.- Experience sampling skips the observer, and asks participants to record their own interactions- Definition: an observational technique in which subjects fill out frequent descriptions of who they are with and what is going ono Example: when a portable beeper sounds, you fill out a short description detailing who you were with, and what isgoing on.3. Describe the reinforcement-affect model and social exchange theory of affiliation and friendship. - Reinforcement-affect model posits a domain-general goal of feeling goodo Definition: the theory that we like people we associate positive feelings and dislike those we associate with negative feelings- Social exchange theory of affiliation and friendship: trading of benefits within relationships4. Describe under what circumstances people will seek emotional support. When do people push social support away?- Social support: the emotional, informational, or material assistance provided by other people in one’s social network o We often turn to others for support when: Stress, interpersonal dangers, mortality salience, social isolationo The potential for embarrassment decreases our motivation to seek emotional support- Pushing support away:o Some people actively reject social supporto We do not always perceive social support as a good thing, especially when we cannot reciprocate5. Explain how lonely and depressed people self-perpetuate their lack of social support.- Self-perpetuating cycle of loneliness and depression:o Depressed individuals tend to focus on negative aspects of their lives, which can alienate otherso Lonely people often cope with isolation in counterproductive waysLONELINESSdiscomfort around othersavoiding othersself-defeating thoughts ("I'm completely unlikeable")DEPRESSIONnegative interpersonal behaviorsothers begin to avoid person6. Explain how childhood attachment affects emotional support networks as children grow into adulthood- Attachment and social development:o Not all cycles involving interaction and social support are negative People whose parents provided a secure relationship are better suited to handle stresses later on in life- This may be because they are better equipped to get support Adolescents are college students increasingly turn from parents to peers for support Even in college, people who have reassuring relationships with parents have less negative moods and get good grades7. Describe why people seek information from similar others.- Other people can provide a wealth of facts helpful for solving problems in the physical worldo When it comes to social realities (do others perceive you as friendly?) other people’s opinions are more or less all that matters- Social comparison and liking for similar otherso Our motivation to obtain information from others is partly driven by a desire for accurate informationo Part of the attraction of getting information from similar others is the positivity biaso Information that others agree with us makes us feel good- Uncertainty and similarity:o Uncertainty increases the desire to make social comparisons (when we are uncertain we are more likely to seek information from similar others)o When we’re afraid, part of why we desire the company of others is to compare our own reactions with theirso Many studies support the theory that when we’re uncertain, we prefer information from similar otherso But if the issue is highly important to us, we prefer affiliating with others who can give us accurate information, whether they are similar or not8. Define self-disclosure. Are men or women more likely to self-disclose?- A key of being a friend is self-disclosureo Self disclosure: the sharing of intimate information about oneself People who disclose more information about themselves are more likable Women are generally more disclosing than men9. Explain why we desire to be friends with people who are powerful.- Self-esteem maintenance theory: we compare ourselves to others in ways that allow us to maintain a positive view of ourselveso If a person similar to you is successful, you may be able to “bask in reflected glory”o We tend to be uncomfortable when someone excels on a characteristic we see as central to our self-esteem, especially when that person is a close friendo Chronically happy people’s self-appraisals seem to be relative oblivious to information that another has done better than they have10. Describe when people are more likely to affiliate with others to gain status. When are they less likely to do so?- Humans, like chimpanzees, often form alliances to improve their position in the social dominance hierarchy- Sex differences in friendshipso Men’s relationships are marked more by hierarchy and instrumentality (components of status-seeking)o Women’s more by an emphasis on emotional support and intimacyo Consequently, men get more respect in their relationships, but women get more affection- Status by associationo The desire to form friendships with high status individuals is especially strong in status-oriented cultures Example: in Japan the desire is greater than in the USo People often try to break social connections that could reflect poorly on them Example: connections with dishonest, hostile, and stigmatized others- Seeking status may erode social supporto Pursuing status motives in our relationships may reduce social support Men may create social worlds that are status-oriented but not as socially supportive as the world created by women11. Explain the concept of equity in relationships.- Exchanging material benefits:o Because of the importance of sharing resources, all societies have strong rules about sharing Example: Ache hunters in Paraguay have random runs of luck, and would not survive if they did not sharewith one another- Social exchange: the trading of benefits within relationships- Equity: state of affairs in which one person’s benefits and costs from relationship are proportional to benefits and costs incurred by partner12. Describe some of the implications of balance theory for our friendships- The basic idea behind balance theory is that we want to agree with people we like and disagree with
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