Chapter 7 1 Define the affiliation motive Affiliation motive the desire to be near others and to have pleasant and affectionate interactions with them o Being with others expressing feelings and ideas and getting others approval 2 Describe the experience sampling method of studying friendship Experience sampling skips the observer and asks participants to record their own interactions Definition an observational technique in which subjects fill out frequent descriptions of who they are with and what is going on o Example when a portable beeper sounds you fill out a short description detailing who you were with and what is going on 3 Describe the reinforcement affect model and social exchange theory of affiliation and friendship Reinforcement affect model posits a domain general goal of feeling good o Definition the theory that we like people we associate positive feelings and dislike those we associate with negative feelings Social exchange theory of affiliation and friendship trading of benefits within relationships 4 Describe under what circumstances people will seek emotional support When do people push social support away Social support the emotional informational or material assistance provided by other people in one s social network o We often turn to others for support when Stress interpersonal dangers mortality salience social isolation o The potential for embarrassment decreases our motivation to seek emotional support Pushing support away Some people actively reject social support o o We do not always perceive social support as a good thing especially when we cannot reciprocate 5 Explain how lonely and depressed people self perpetuate their lack of social support Self perpetuating cycle of loneliness and depression o Depressed individuals tend to focus on negative aspects of their lives which can alienate others o Lonely people often cope with isolation in counterproductive ways others begin to avoid person LONELINESS negative interpersonal behaviors discomfort around others DEPRESSION avoiding others self defeating thoughts I m completely unlikeable 6 Explain how childhood attachment affects emotional support networks as children grow into adulthood Attachment and social development o Not all cycles involving interaction and social support are negative People whose parents provided a secure relationship are better suited to handle stresses later on in life This may be because they are better equipped to get support Adolescents are college students increasingly turn from parents to peers for support Even in college people who have reassuring relationships with parents have less negative moods and get good grades 7 Describe why people seek information from similar others Other people can provide a wealth of facts helpful for solving problems in the physical world o When it comes to social realities do others perceive you as friendly other people s opinions are more or less all that matters Social comparison and liking for similar others o Our motivation to obtain information from others is partly driven by a desire for accurate information o o Part of the attraction of getting information from similar others is the positivity bias Information that others agree with us makes us feel good Uncertainty and similarity information from similar others o Uncertainty increases the desire to make social comparisons when we are uncertain we are more likely to seek o When we re afraid part of why we desire the company of others is to compare our own reactions with theirs o Many studies support the theory that when we re uncertain we prefer information from similar others o But if the issue is highly important to us we prefer affiliating with others who can give us accurate information whether they are similar or not 8 Define self disclosure Are men or women more likely to self disclose A key of being a friend is self disclosure o Self disclosure the sharing of intimate information about oneself People who disclose more information about themselves are more likable Women are generally more disclosing than men 9 Explain why we desire to be friends with people who are powerful Self esteem maintenance theory we compare ourselves to others in ways that allow us to maintain a positive view of ourselves o o We tend to be uncomfortable when someone excels on a characteristic we see as central to our self esteem If a person similar to you is successful you may be able to bask in reflected glory o especially when that person is a close friend Chronically happy people s self appraisals seem to be relative oblivious to information that another has done better than they have 10 Describe when people are more likely to affiliate with others to gain status When are they less likely to do so Humans like chimpanzees often form alliances to improve their position in the social dominance hierarchy Sex differences in friendships o Men s relationships are marked more by hierarchy and instrumentality components of status seeking o Women s more by an emphasis on emotional support and intimacy o Consequently men get more respect in their relationships but women get more affection The desire to form friendships with high status individuals is especially strong in status oriented cultures Status by association Example in Japan the desire is greater than in the US People often try to break social connections that could reflect poorly on them Example connections with dishonest hostile and stigmatized others Seeking status may erode social support Pursuing status motives in our relationships may reduce social support o o o Men may create social worlds that are status oriented but not as socially supportive as the world created by women 11 Explain the concept of equity in relationships Exchanging material benefits o Because of the importance of sharing resources all societies have strong rules about sharing Example Ache hunters in Paraguay have random runs of luck and would not survive if they did not share with one another Social exchange the trading of benefits within relationships Equity state of affairs in which one person s benefits and costs from relationship are proportional to benefits and costs incurred by partner 12 Describe some of the implications of balance theory for our friendships The basic idea behind balance theory is that we want to agree with people we like and disagree with people we dislike Some implications of balance theory is that if we have a good friend who doesn t like the same
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