Romantic Relationships and Sex Finding a Partner What is attractive o Symmetry is attractive in all cultures and all time periods In particular symmetrical faces Genes code for perfect symmetry pathogens and nutritional factors can affect how those genes are expressed over time Symmetry identifies healthy people and people with a strong immune system From an evolutionary perspective this helps produce more healthy offspring o Averageness composite face Averaging faces removes glitches and that s what we prefer Again a face without glitches is a face without cues to disease Gender Differences Women o All show cues for genes that will provide the best offspring Waist to hip ratio there is an ideal ratio 7 waist 70 of hip o This preference has stayed the same through time and between cultures hourglass figure o Cue that woman has gone through puberty successfully and can give birth evolutionary perspective Men Age 20s o 20 26 cue to fertility Waist to hip for men ratio is 9 Masculinity cues o Square jaw o Prominent chin Result of amount of testosterone in body during puberty Testosterone is an immunosuppressant reduces ability to fight pathogens o If they have gotten this attractive while having their immune system compromised then they must have a really strong immune system How important is attractiveness Li et al 2002 o Design your ideal mate with 20 mate dollars o Given 10 different characteristics and traits Physical attractiveness yearly income intelligence kindness creativity sense of humor etc o Each mate dollar corresponded to 10th of a percitile of category 2 mate dollars on attractiveness would put the person in 20th percentile for attractiveness o Attractiveness was found to be much more important for men than women Men spent 5 5 on avg mate dollars and women spent 2 mate dollars o Intelligence more important in a mate for women than for men o Yearly income not a factor at all for men but it is quite a bit for women o Sense of humor was spent equally 2 o Friendliness a little more by women than men but still low Engaging in Relationshipos Parental Investment Theory trivers 1972 o Consequences of Sex rewards Cost looking at absolute minimum costs Men Offspring 5 minutes Women offspring 9 months increased vulnerability split resources Implications for men o Men choose the healthiest mate why men have an ext focus on attractiveness o Men attracted to cues to fertility W to H ratio youth 20s Implications for women o Women need a man who can help out during the 9 month period of time o Women attracted to cues to resource provision Intelligence yearly income When we re in a Relationship Sternberg s Triangle o Passion necessary for beginning relationships Physiological arousal sexual attraction be aware of misattribution of arousal Usually high at the beginning of relationships and then dwindles Coolidge Effect named for Prez Coolidge Increase in excitement from new partners o Intimacy necessary for maintaining a relationship Feelings of closeness sharing support mutual concern Tends to increase over time o Commitment necessary for maintaining a relationship Conscious decision to remain in relationship Decrease in Passion Passion the rate of change of intimacy o Feeling lots of passion means theres been a recent increase in intimacy o Sharpert increase more passion Passion as a function of change in intimacy Examples o The beginning of a relationship o When sharing novel experiences o Marital therapy o Seeing each other after being apart o Make up sex Importance for Satisfaction Intimacy is moderately important for all time periods of a relationship Passion is important at the beginning of a relationship 3 years and from 3 to 10 years passion isn t as important but THEN at 10 years passion becomes important for satisfaction again Importance of commitment just increases and is the best predictor of satisfaction for a relationship Why do we stay in or leave relationships The Investment Model 1 Satisfaction a Positive interactions experiences must outweigh negatives for people to say that they re satisfied by at least 5 to 1 Including fighting vs sex i ii Don t respond to negatives w more negatives b Relationship enhancing attributions help maintain relationships giving people benefit of the doubt instead of being cynical about a relationship and thinking other person doesn t care about them or is up to something wants something from them etc overly positive perceptions of relationship also help c 2 Quality of available Alternatives a Investment 3 Second part of the Investment Model 2 Quality of Available Alternatives ANY OTHER OPTION including quality of breing single or the abstraction of finding someone else even if there is not a specific partner in mind will stay committed if no better alternative People in successful relationships Devalue potential attractive alternatives remember that love motivates functional behaviors Are inattentive to potential alternatives Alternative Mates Study Rowland Miller 1997 Brought in people in relationships Talked about partner Talked about possible alternatives o More positively they talked about the alternatives more likely to be broken up 2 momnths later people who perceived higher quality alternatives to their relationships ended up leaving current relationships ALSO another study they did had participants look at advertisements o Come into lab and are told doing study on visual attention memory o Flip through magazines ads o Computer secretly times how long people stare at advertisements Those looking longer at attractive opposite sex people more likely to break up 2 months later o Good relationship partners IGNORE AND DEVALUE the competition 3 Investment Sunk costs invested resources that you can t get back We don t want those investments to be for naught Different types of relationships Communal baserd on utual love and concern do things for each other without expecting to be repaid More likely in relationships with est commitment More mature and secure bond of trust est slides online The Investment Model Again 1 Satisfaction 2 Quality of availbable Alternatives 3 Investment If we have really high quality alternatives but are currently really happy with our current relationship and have invested a lot we may stay in the relationship If we haven t invested much time and we see tons of quality available alternatives we re probably gonna leave our partner The Investment Models shows that there s an interplay of all three parts Sexual
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