TrustHonestyFeeling comfortableHappinessSimilarities**InterdependenceGrowthRespectSecure attachmentAcceptingIntimacyBuilding blocks of relationshipsCultureIncreasing socioeconomic developmentMore choicesIndividualismAllowed to do your own thingNew technologyKeeps us indoors and allows control over reproductionCompare culture now to the 1960s60s people married in their early 20s, did not ‘cohabitate’ before marriage, did not have children out of wedlockThe last few decades have seen dramatic changes in the cultural context of relationshipsFewer people marry…only 85% (compared to 95%) will ever marry and only about half of adult population is married—all time lowerPeople wait longer to marryCohabitate when not marriedHave babies out of wedlock½ of marriages end in divorceMothers work outside of homeAll of these changes change intimate relationshipsExample: people cohabit before marriage—what does this do to relationships? Unless people already plan on getting married, cohabiting increases the risk of later divorceSex RatioNumber of men/number of womenHigh sex ratio=more men, low sex ratio=more womenPhenomenon: when sex ratio is high, the role of women is more traditional—1960s had a high sex ratioLook at different styles of women clothing throughout history—cultures with high sex ratio have more conservative dress and low sex ratio have more provocative clothingExperienceAttachment stylesFirst noted in childrenEither secure, anxious ambivalent, or avoidantResearchers believed that early interpersonal experiences shaped the course of one’s subsequent relationships—these same patterns have been found in adultsAttachment styles of adultsSecure, preoccupied, fearful, or dismissingOnly about 60% of us are secure and trusting in our romantic relationshipsThe rest are insecure, and are either avoidant or mistrusting of othersBut remember that once they have been established, attachment styles can change or be stable and long-lasting as they lead people to enter relationships that reinforce their behaviorIndividual DifferencesSex differencesNot nearly as big as you would guessIndividual men differ more than they do from the average womanGender differencesSex differences refers to biological difference, while gender difference refers to differences that result form upbringing, training, and teachingGender roles—the patterns of behavior that our culture expects from “normal” men and womenMen are expected to be masculine, assertive, self-reliant, ambitious, decisive, and competitiveWomen are expected to be feminine, warm, compassionate, and kindIn reality, a lot of us (about 35%) are androgynousInstead of using masculine vs. feminine, researchers use instrumental (task oriented masculine) vs. expressive (feminine and emotional)Gender differences may be responsible to incompatibility between men and women—from the moment they meet, for instance, traditional men and women enjoy and like each other less than androgynous peoplePersonalitiesBig five personality traitsAgreeablenessExtroversionConscientiousnessOpen to experienceNeuroticThe most important of these traits to intimate relationships is the one that has a negative impact—neuroticismPeoples personalities affect their relationships more than relationships affect peoples personalitiesSelf-esteemSociometer theorySelf-esteem is a subjective gauge, and sociometer measures the quality of our relationships with othersWhen others like us, we like ourselves; when other people regard us positively and value their relationships with us, self-esteem is highWhen people have low self-esteemThey underestimate their partner’s love for themLess optimistic that their love will lastPerceive disregard where none existsRespond less constructively to conflictHomosexuality doesn’t make much of a differenceProcess of close relationships is very similar in hetero and homosexual relationshipsPSYC 359 1st Edition Lecture 1 Outline of Last Lecture I. NoneOutline of Current Lecture I. Building blocks of a relationshipII. Intimacy Current LectureWhat is a close relationship?- Trust - Honesty - Feeling comfortable - Happiness - Similarities**- Interdependence - Growth - Respect - Secure attachment - Accepting - Intimacy Building blocks of relationships- Cultureo Increasing socioeconomic development More choiceso Individualism Allowed to do your own thingo New technology Keeps us indoors and allows control over reproductiono Compare culture now to the 1960s 60s people married in their early 20s, did not ‘cohabitate’ before marriage, did not have children out of wedlock  The last few decades have seen dramatic changes in the cultural context of relationships Fewer people marry…only 85% (compared to 95%) will ever marry and only about half of adult population is married—all time lower People wait longer to marry Cohabitate when not married Have babies out of wedlock ½ of marriages end in divorce  Mothers work outside of home All of these changes change intimate relationships Example: people cohabit before marriage—what does this do to relationships? Unless people already plan on getting married, cohabiting increases the risk of later divorceo Sex Ratio Number of men/number of women High sex ratio=more men, low sex ratio=more women Phenomenon: when sex ratio is high, the role of women is more traditional—1960s had a high sex ratio Look at different styles of women clothing throughout history—cultures with high sex ratio have more conservative dress and low sex ratio have more provocative clothing- Experienceo Attachment styles First noted in children Either secure, anxious ambivalent, or avoidant Researchers believed that early interpersonal experiences shaped the course of one’s subsequent relationships—these same patterns have been found in adults  Attachment styles of adults Secure, preoccupied, fearful, or dismissing o Only about 60% of us are secure and trusting in our romantic relationshipso The rest are insecure, and are either avoidant or mistrusting of others But remember that once they have been established, attachment styles can change or be stable and long-lasting as they lead people to enter relationships that reinforce their behavior- Individual Differenceso Sex differences Not nearly as big as you would guess Individual men differ more than they do from the average womano Gender differences Sex