Getting Too Close for ComfortCommunication Privacy Management TheoryRules for Managing Information within Privacy BoundariesPowerPoint PresentationTypes of Privacy Invasion in Study of Parents and College StudentsTwo General Reactions to Parents Reported…Responses to Privacy ViolationsSlide 8Obsessive Relational Intrusion (ORI)Slide 10Relational Goal Pursuit TheoryFour Reasons for Continued PursuitResponses to ORISlide 14Commonly Avoided TopicsSlide 16Motivations for Topic AvoidanceSlide 18When do People Use Topic Avoidance?SecretsSlide 21The Decision-Making Process for Revealing SecretsGetting Too Close for Comfort Privacy and Secrets in RelationshipsCommunication Privacy Management TheoryThe theory explains how individuals maintain privacy by setting up boundary structures to control the risks inherent in disclosing private information. Boundary structures are based on two elements:Ownership: who has the right to control the informationPermeability: rules govern who can access the information that we ownRules for Managing Information within Privacy BoundariesCommunication boundary management is influenced by:Culture PersonalityThe relationshipBiological sexMotivations Successful boundary management often requires cooperation between people.Stress creates boundary turbulence, which forces renewed boundary management through: fortification of boundariesrenegotiation of boundariesTypes of Privacy Invasion in Study of Parents and College StudentsSubversive tactics: covert privacy violations (examples: eavesdropping, opening mail, going through personal things)Direct tactics: overt privacy violations (examples: giving unsolicited advice, asking personal questions)Two General Reactions to Parents Reported…ConfrontationChild openly challenges the guilty parentStopHere’s the EvidenceEvasion Child changes behavior to protect privacy, but avoids open discussion about parental behaviorResponses to Privacy ViolationsVerbal assertion: communicating in a direct and cooperative manner telling the invader not to do it again asking the invader to respect one’s privacy in the futurePassive Aggression and Retaliation: trying to retaliate against a person through behaviors such as: making the person feel guilty getting revenge by violating their privacyTempered Tolerance: outwardly accepting the privacy violation through responses such as: grinning and bearing it  acting like the incident never happened Boundary Restructuration: adjusting public boundaries to prevent future privacy violations putting a lock on a drawer going into another room when talking on the phoneObsessive Relational Intrusion (ORI)ORI occurs when someone uses intrusive tactics to try to get closer to someone else. Common ORI situations involve unrequited love betweenMere acquaintancesFormer relational partnersOnly one person wanting a friendship to turn romanticExamples of ORI behaviors: •Common forms: calling and arguing, calling and hanging up, repeatedly asking for another chance, watching from a distance, making exaggerated claims of affection•Severe forms: invading one’s home, damaging property, causing physical harmRelational Goal Pursuit TheoryPeople expend energy to develop or re-initiate relationships to the extent that they perceive a relationship is desirable and attainable.When a relationship is perceived to be unattainable, people abandon their original goal and seek an alternative.ORI behaviors are most likely when people continue to believe a relationship is attainable even though it is not.Four Reasons for Continued Pursuit According to Relational Goal Pursuit Theory, people continue using ORI behaviors because of:Cultural scriptsAmbiguity of communicationRuminationA shift in motivationResponses to ORIPassive: waiting for the pursuer to tire of you, lose interest, or give up Avoidant: not answering phone calls and staying away from the pursuerAggressive: being mean or rude, threatening to harm the pursuer if she or he doesn’t leave you aloneIntegrative: communicating disinterest directly, negotiating relationship rules and boundaries Help Seeking: asking others for assistance in preventing ORI behaviorCommonly Avoided TopicsState of the RelationshipConflict IssuesNegative Experiences / FailuresRomantic Relationship Experiences (Exes)Sexual ExperiencesFriendships and Family MembersDangerous Behaviors (drinking, drugs)Everyday Activities MoneyDeep ConversationsReligionMotivations for Topic AvoidanceRelationship-Based:Relationship ProtectionRelationship DestructionIndividual-Based:Identity ManagementPrivacy MaintenanceInformation-Based:Partner UnresponsivenessFutility of DiscussionCommunication inefficacyWhen do People Use Topic Avoidance?In romantic relationships:during the casual to committed relationship transition (The Turbulence Model)In cross-sex friendships:when one person wants the relationship to be romantic and the other does notIn parent-child relationships:during mid-adolescencewhen children feel caught in the middle of divorced parentsSecretsSecrets are defined as the intentional concealment of information Types of Family SecretsWhole Family Secrets Intrafamily SecretsIndividual SecretsRelatively Common Family Secrets:financial issues (#1)substance abusepremarital pregnancyThe Decision-Making Process for Revealing SecretsIf the secret isn’t troubling someone, it is easy to keep.If the secret is troubling, people determine whether an appropriate confidant is available.If an appropriate confidant is available, the secret is shared with her or him; if not, the secret is