CHD2220 Lecture Discipline 4 22 4 24 4 26 Discipline o Authority Your ability to establish yourselves as an authority in the lives of your children is key If you want your child to do something you need to be an authoritative figure and help and tell her to do it Also if your child is misbehaving by being seen as an authority figure you should be able to tell them to stop If you fail to establish your authority it leads to trouble Not only for you but also for your child You wont be able to take them In public without problems etc If you are not an authority in their lives those children can fail It can optimize their development Brings good behaviors rules and parents who are in control will bring power into the situation by bringing discipline into the situation Powerful parents have their children focus on the appropriate behaviors and not the inappropriate behavior o Situations and Goals Being able to handle situations are also key Dinner taking them out in public etc There s a goal that needs to be accomplished If you re a good parent you know what the goals are and you see to it to make sure your children achieve those goals It is so important that if you are a parent to be a great parent you have to know you want them to become and what it takes to get there You want them to rescue people do well in school etc but those all come down to specific situations Ex 2 children in sandbox one gets hurt situation It s your goal to have your child show empathy and tell that other hurt child that it is okay etc goal Great parents when there s a situation they recognize the situation put forward the goal of that situation etc As a parent you know what you want their goals to be and what you want for them You know what s acceptable and whats not acceptable of your child behavior wise etc Every goal that we want kids to accomplish they need to engage in certain behaviors in order to get there Whether its behaving correctly changing their attitudes etc in order to get there If this doesn t happen misbehaving then it disrupts the developmental process o How to establish Authority and Discipline Two approaches to discipline Induction o The way most of us was raised for the most part Lots of it was done with us In induction we reason with children to get them to engage in more of those appropriate bahaviors You reason with children Reasoning with children is a common approach to disabpline in middle class individuals o So when you reason with children heres what you do You take a reason rational for engaging in a certain behavior and you take it from your head and you put it into the head of your child You communicate a reason A CHD2220 Lecture Discipline 4 22 4 24 4 26 reason for doing something or not doing something Your child receives the reason for stopping hitting his sister for example So when you reason with your kid you throw the ball in their court Heres the reason Now you agree if your going to agree with the reason or not And im hoping you will agree But im not going ot make you do it im reasoning with you Giving you a reason to do what I want you to do Ex 7 year old home with hw and is fooling around and not doing it I ask him it appears your not working on your hw he gives a smirk so you may 1st give him a reason to not smirk So you would say when you smirk it makes me feel bad I feel like your being disrespectful and it hurts my feelings You just gave him a reason to stop smirking by telling him that it makes him feel bad So you just induced him to stop smirking He should love you and have empathy He should feel the moral emotions and a system that he can feel empathy and feel sad cus you feel sad and maybe guilty So you put a reason in his head and had him decide if hes going ot wipe the smirk off his face So you gave him a reason to wipe he smirk off his face What if he doesn t want to get rid of it o He may not have a conscience They don t feel guilt shame and some kids don t feel any empathy etc Or maybe he doesn t feel love Some kids just like to have power and be in control and will not take your induction They will start ot get into a battle with you trying to achieve power So they may become very obstructive for the goals you want for them o When you reason with children you using a low power strategy You re throwing the ball in his court and they can reject the reason if they don t feel the right emotions etc o Homework Parent says Oh when you work on yoru homework and you finish it with all the correct answers you will feel so proud of yourself etc You induced him to get him to do it Now either hes going to feel the emotions and buy into it or hes not If hes not then you try to up the ammo and give him another compelling reason This will make your mother feel so good and when we visit people Ima tell him how hard you were working and he will feel so good about you etc o Although induction is pervasive around middle class children you may find a day when your inductions don t seem to be working very well No power your children aren t taking the reasons and using them as a guide for their behavior CHD2220 Lecture Discipline 4 22 4 24 4 26 o So if you raise your children in a healthy emotional environment and your Power Assertion o Traditionally chosen by working class people Poor people Something that s good at induction different o Starts in the same place as induction But you need to know for sure that your on top of it and very spacicic on what the inappropriate and appropriate behaviors No negocaiting You must know what the inappropriate and appropriate behaviors Make a list Ex bath time You re here to get your self clean Maybe wiith some fun But turn it into rules on whats acceptable behaviors in the tub and whats unacceptable like splashing etc o You will reinforce your child when they misbehave that you deliver to your child contingent on those inappropriate behaviors You will have positive reinforcements and you use them strategically Hers the goals you need to accomplish and I will turn them into rules o Like a contract o Positive Reinforcement For good behaviors o Punishment for bad behaviors o Your systematically using reinforcement and punishment to get more good Spanking of Children an open …
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