Chapter 5 1 The steps of the Integrated Listening Model ILM the process of taking in acquiring or accepting complicated unique process of making sense Includes all the physical mental and Receiving Constructive meaning Listening Preparation behavioral aspects that create a readiness to listen of the cues signals and impulses received exchange ideas or convey information separate 5th step 2 The four Styles of listening Remembering Responding Means using spoken or nonverbal messages to Done throughout the listening process and not just You are concerned with the other person s People Listening style Action listening style Content listening style feelings information others know how much time they have to make a point Time style listening You prefer complex and challenging You prefer brief and hurried interaction and let You prefer precise and error free information 3 The six kinds of listening being sensitive to both verbal and nonverbal Understanding what others are saying Discriminative listening Comprehension listening changes the sounds and sights of communication because you are aware of grasp and can make sense of the message is saying means listening for pleasure Appreciative listening Critical listening You make judgments about what the other person Your primary concern is to understand the Informative listening message characters and experiences of another person Empathic listening Is the process of mentally identifying with the 4 Gender differences in listening Women more likely to be people listeners than men Women are interested in relationships and networking and men are more interested in competitive communication When men and women talk women are more likely to be the listeners 5 Factors in and barriers to effective listening Opinionatedness Closed mindedness Avoid listening if the subject is complex or difficult and or it Refuse to maintain a relaxing and agreeable Disagree or argue outwardly or inwardly with Laziness takes too much time environment and or relate to and benefit from speakers idea speaker as well as becoming emotional or excited when speaker s view differ from yours Insincerity to only the speaker s words rather than feelings Lack of interest with the speaker s subject and daydreaming and becoming preoccupied with something else when listening Inattentiveness Concentrating on the speaker s mannerisms or delivery rather than on the message and becoming distracted by noise from office equipment telephone other conversations etc Avoiding eye contact when listening and paying attention Boredom 6 Define Anxiety Cognitive dissonance occurs when you feel conflict because you hold Disturbance that occurs in your mind regarding some two or more attitudes that are in opposition to each other uncertain event misgiving or worry the reduction of any physical function to the lowest possible degree is the desire to have governing influence over a situation involves the suspension of the rational functions and Control Passiveness 7 Differences in poor and good listeners Good listener Uses good eye contact Is attentive and alert to speaker s verbal nonverbal behavior Patient Doesn t interrupt Responsive using verbal nonverbal expressions Asks questions in nonthreatening tone Paraphrases restates what speaker says Provides constructive feedback Is empathic Shows interest in the speaker as a person Demonstrates a caring attitude and is willing to listen Doesn t criticize Is open minded Poor listener Interrupts speaker Bad eye contact Is distracted Not interested in speaker Gives little to no feedback Gives unwanted advice Is to0 busy to listen Changes subject Judgmental Is close minded Talks too much Self preoccupied 8 Percentage of Time Devoted to Various Communication Listening Speaking 45 30 Reading Writing 16 9 Chapter 6 9 Factors affecting interpersonal attractiveness Physical Attraction Perceived Gain Similarities in personality and attitude Differences in personality and attitude Proximity or the close contact that occurs when people share an experience such as work school or play 10 The 7 motives for interpersonal relationships Pleasure Affection Inclusion Escape Relaxation Control Health 11 How people begin a conversation 12 Owned message an acknowledgment of subjectivity by a message sender through the use of First person singular terms I me my mine 13 The three types of self disclosure tell us about a person s most generally shared cultural Cultural information attributes such as language shared values beliefs and ideologies Sociological Psychological which is the most specific and intimate info about someone because it allows you to know an individual traits feelings attitudes and important personal data tells you something about others social groups and roles 14 The Johari window and how it describes self disclosure The Johari window categorizes how we share disclose information 15 Social penetration theory This suggests that closeness occurs through a gradual process of self disclosure 16 Essential elements of good relationship Verbal Skills Nonverbal Analysis Emotional Expressiveness Conversational Focus Conversational Encouragement Care and Appreciation Commitment Adaptation Chapter 7 17 Describe the stages of a relationship coming together and apart Come Together Fall Apart 1 Initiating characterized by nervousness caution and a degree of hesitation 3 2 Experimenting people make a conscious effort to seek out common interests and experiences Intensifying the stage where people spend more time with each other because they are happy loving and warm Integrating the point at which their individual personalities are beginning to merge 4 5 Bonding were the partners make some sort of commitment that announces their relationship to those around them 1 Differentiating the interdependence of their courting stage is no longer so attractive begin focusing on how different 2 Circumscribing less and less information is exchanged Stagnating time of inactivity no chance to grow communication becomes stale 3 4 Avoiding involves physical separation or not wanting to interact 5 Terminating partners finding a way to bring a relationship to an end 18 Describe the three relationship rewards and costs Extrinsic means rewards costs outside the relationship Intrinsic means rewards costs inside the relationship Instrumental basic exchange of goods and services works both ways Chapter 8 Conflict and Conflict Management 19 Wieder hatfield model of conflict resolution First