COMM 315 1st Edition Lecture 14 Outline of Last Lecture I. Conflict DefinedII. Conflict MythsIII. Conflict TypesIV. Gender ConflictV. Conflict and PowerOutline of Current Lecture I. Conflict Management StylesII. Conflict Management SkillsIII. The Best Ways to Manage Anger?IV. Managing Online ConflictV. Strategies for Managing Online ConflictCurrent Lecture- Conflict Management Styleso Conflict styles- consistent pattern or approach you use to manage disagreement with others. There are 5 types: Avoidance- conflict management style that involves backing off and tryingto side stop conflict. - Back up and try to side step the conflict- The Demand-withdrawal pattern of conflict management lies within avoidance and is pattern in which one person makes a demand and the other person avoids conflict by changing the subject or walking away Accommodation- conflict management style that involves giving in to the demands of others- You may choose this style if you fear rejection by rocking the boat- Using this style shows you’re reasonable and want to help- If you are wrong or have made a mistake, use this style Competition- conflict management style that stresses winning a conflict at the expense of the other person involvedThese notes represent a detailed interpretation of the professor’s lecture. GradeBuddy is best used as a supplement to your own notes, not as a substitute.- People who use this method like to control others and are typically not other oriented. These people often resort to blaming or seeking a scapegoat rather than taking responsibility.- These people can/will use threats (actions that people can actually carry out) and warnings (negative prophecies one cannot actually control).  Compromise- conflict management style that attempts to find the middle ground in a conflict- Trying to find a middle ground- This can be a good style if a quick resolution to the conflict is needed and it reinforces the notion that all parties involved share in equal power.  Collaboration- conflict management style that uses other oriented strategies to achieve a positive solution for all involved- This style is best used when:o All sides of the conflict need fresh, new ideaso Enhanced commitment to a solution is important because all are involved in shaping the outcomeo It’s important to establish rapport and a positive relational climateo Emotional feelings are intense, and all involved in the conflict need to be listened too It’s important to affirm the value of the interpersonal relationship- Disadvantages to this style include time, skill, patience, and energyrequired to manage conflict collaboratively. o There is no single conflict management style that “works” in all situations. - Conflict Management Skillso Manage your emotions Try to avoid taking action when you are angry, you may regret what you say, and you will probably escalate the conflict. Anger, frustration, fear or sadness are often the first signs that we are in aconflict situation Be aware that you are becoming angry and emotionally volatile- If you become aware of what is happening to you before you become angry, you will start to react to your emotions with an increased heart rate. Be sensitive to what is happening to you physically.  Seek to understand why you are angry and emotional- Understanding what’s behind your anger can help you manage it- If you decide to express your anger, don’t lose control. Be direct and descriptive. Select a mutually acceptable time and place to discuss a conflict Plan your message Breathe- One of the simplest yet most effective ways to avoid overheating is to breathe. This can help calm you and manage the physiologicalchanged that adrenaline creates.  Monitor nonverbal messages- Monitoring your nonverbal messages can help to de-escalate an emotion-charged situation. Avoid personal attacks, name calling, and emotional overstatement- Although you may feel hurt and angry, try to avoid exaggerating your emotions and hurling negative, personal comments at your partner- Avoid gunny-sacking- dredging up old problems and issues from the past to use against your partner Take time to establish rapport- You’ll be more successful in managing conflict If you don’t immediately dive in and attempt to sort out the issues with your partner- Using humor effectively during a period of emotionally infused conflict can help take the sting out of discussions of difficult topics. Use self talk- Talking to yourself is an eccentricityo Manage information Clearly describe the conflict producing events- Instead of just blurting out your complaints in random order, thinkof delivering a brief, well-organized mini-speech. Offer your perspective on what created the conflict, sequencing the events like a well organized story Take turns talking Own your statements by using descriptive “I” language- “I” language- statements that use the word “I” to express how a speaker is feeling- Monitor “but” messages- statements using the word “but” that may communicate that whatever you’ve said prior to but is not really true Use effective listening skills Check your understanding of what others say and do- If you are genuinely unsure about facts, issues, or major ideas addressed during a conflict, ask questions to help you sort throughthem instead of barging ahead with solutions. Be empathic- To truly understand another person, you need to do more than catch the meaning of his or her words; you need to put yourself in the person’s place emotionally. o Manage goals Identify your goal and your partner’s goal Identify where your goals and your partner’s goals overlap- If you focus on the shared interests and develop objective criteria for the solution, there is hop for finding a resolution that will satisfy bother partieso Manage the problem There are 3 main skills to use:- Use principled negotiation strategieso Separate the people from the problemo Focus on shared interestso Generate many options to solve the problemo Base decisions on objective criteria- Use a problem solving structureo Define the problemo Analyze the problemo Determine the goalso Generate multiple solutionso Select the best solution- Develop a solution that helps each person save face- What are the best ways to manage anger?o Be determined no to get angry yourselfo Get on the same