COMM 315 1st Edition Lecture 20 Outline of Last Lecture I. The Dark Side of Interpersonal Communication and RelationshipsII. Relationship De-Escalation and TerminationOutline of Current Lecture I. FriendshipII. Romantic RelationshipsCurrent LectureChapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Friendship and Romance- Friendshipo Friendship-based intimacy- a type of intimacy based on feelings of warmth, understanding, and emotional connectiono Passion-based intimacy- a type of intimacy based on romantic and sexual feelingso Qualities of friendship: the following qualities of friendship represent the findingsof multiple studies Self-disclosure/feeling free to express intimate information Openness/honesty/authenticity Compatibility/similarity Ego-reinforcement/self-concept support Acceptance of one’s individuality Respect and trust Helping behavior Positive evolution Concern and empathyo Values of friendship: besides helping us enjoy a healthy life, friends provide valuable support in other wayso Common principles of friendship: We usually form friendships with our equals and other types of relationships with people of different ages or social backgroundsThese notes represent a detailed interpretation of the professor’s lecture. GradeBuddy is best used as a supplement to your own notes, not as a substitute. We tend to expect equality and equity in our friendships in contrast to what we accept from our family relationship, with both partners providing similar amounts of emotional and material support and neither one becoming overly indebted Typically, people have up to five close friends, fifteen other friends, twenty or more members in a social network and many more people whoare simply acquaintances In all our social interactions, we are happiest when we are in the companyof our friends.o Making friends These factors provide a good checklist of how to go about making friends- Similarity of attitudes- An expectation that the other person will like us- Reciprocating self-disclosures- Proximity- Accessibility or availabilityo Friendships at different stages in life Our need for intimacy changes throughout our lives and affects the nature of our closest friendships. Self-disclosure did not seem to change in depth or amount from young adulthood through age 91. But as people grow older, we engage in more negative self-disclosure. Childhood friendships (typically ages 3-15)- Or first friendships are usually superficial and self-centered. - Can be categorized into five sometimes overlapping stageso Momentary playmates stage (ages 3-7): we interact with those who are nearest, most accessibleo One-way assistance stage (ages 4-9): we still view friendships from a “take” perspective, as instruments to help meet our needs, rather than from a “give” or “give-and-take” perspectiveo Fair-weather friends stage (ages 6-12): there is more give and take in friendships; more cooperationo Mutual intimacy stage (ages 9-15): we develop close friendships, but become possessive of the friendships and experience jealousyo Independence stage (ages 12-adulthood): we tolerate friends making friends with others, while a deepening interdependence with friends leads to increased intimacy and sharing Adolescent friendships (typically ages 10-19)- Beginning with the onset of puberty at around age 12, we move away from relationships with parents and other adults and towardgreater intimacy with our peers- In adolescence, we develop cliques of friends and form friendship networks. - Boys seem to have more friends and are more likely to join groups- Girls are more likely to develop intimate relationships with one or two good friends- The number of friendships usually peaks in late adolescence and early adulthood, before we select a mate Young adult friendships (typically ages 18-30)- Linked to a succession of significant changes in our lifestyles and goals, such as going to college, getting a job, pursuing serious romantic relationships, getting married, buying a house, and starting a family.- Close high school friendships help new college students manage the stress and successfully adjust to college, but further adjustment requires the development of new friendships during the first year at college. - For those who go to college, high school relationships often deescalate because of changing interests and the time and energy needed to maintain the friendships Adult friendships (typically ages 30-60)- Relationships during the prime of our work and family lives.- Adult friendships are among our most valued relationships, providing emotional support, partners for activities, and socializing opportunities.  Late adulthood friendships (typically age 60 and up)- Compared to younger adults, older adults report greater relationalsatisfaction and less relational conflict, have a more positive perspective on conflicts that occur, express more positive messages to each other, and are more forgiving of each othero Same-sex friendships Women define their female friendships by intimacy, whereas men define their male friendships in terms of activities Expectations- Both men and women reported that self-disclosure, emotional support, loyalty, and trust contributed the most to a sense of intimacy in their same-sex friendships.- Men understood what contributes to intimacy, women rated all of these behaviors as more likely to produce intimacy than did men and they also appeared to have a stronger desire for same sex friendships.  Functions- Both men and women value intimacy, trust, interpersonal sensitivity, emotional expressiveness, and authenticity in their same sex friendships. - Overall, men’s and women’s same-sex friendships appear to differ not in the qualities they possess but in the degree to which they possess these qualitieso Cross-sex friendships Adolescents often develop opposite-sex, or cross-sex, friendships that aren’t romantic. The development of male-female friendships between heterosexual adults is sometimes a challenge because of underlying sexual attraction Adult cross sex relationships are facilitated by opportunities for men and women to interact non-romantically.  Studies found that romantic attraction and physical/sexual attraction diminished as the relationship progressed over time, while friendship attraction increased. These friendships can help you better