COMM 315 1st Edition Lecture 8Outline of Last Lecture I. ListeningII. Listening StylesIII. Listening BarriersIV. Improving Listening SkillsV. Ideas to Enhance ListeningOutline of Current Lecture I. Emotional Intelligence and BenefitsII. How to Improve Critical Listening SkillsIII. Improving Accurate Responding SkillsIV. Improving Empathic Responding SkillsV. Improving Your Confirmation SkillsCurrent Lecture- What’s your Emotional Intelligence (EI) Level and Why Does It Matter?o Emotional intelligence is the ability to be aware of, to understand, and to manage one’s own emotions and those of other people. o Just for fun, you can take an Emotional Intelligence quiz at queendom.com- Benefits of Emotional Intelligenceo Emotional Intelligence helps you do 4 things: Accurately perceive messages- allows you to listen to people’s voices and paying attention to facial expressions, posture, and other cues. Think and work more effectively- Express Emotions- in a productive manner Manage your emotions- rather than let them manage you.- How to Improve Critical Listening Skillso Critical Listening- evaluating and assessing the quality, appropriateness, value or importance of the information, usually to achieve a goal (ex: do I upgrade to the new iPhone 5c? To whom do I listen to in order to gain information?)o Assess information quality Information Triage is the process of evaluating information to sort good information from less useful or less valid information. Examines the information you want to keep. These notes represent a detailed interpretation of the professor’s lecture. GradeBuddy is best used as a supplement to your own notes, not as a substitute.o Separate Facts from Inference Have to be careful not to spin grand explanations and hypotheses based on sketchy details Fact is something that has been directly observed to be true and thus has been proven to be true Inference is a conclusion based on speculation Inferences come quick.- How to Improve Accurate Responding Skills o Responding is the hardest part (usually) because you don’t always know what to say or do so you need to:o Ask appropriate questions Not only helps you, but helps the other person to wrap their heads around the situation as well. Also communicates to the person talking, that you were listening. o Accurately Paraphrase Paraphrase- verbal summary of the key ideas of your partner’s message that helps you check the accuracy of your understanding The only way to know whether you understand another person’s messageis to check your understanding of the facts and ideas by paraphrasing your understanding. This can dramatically minimize misunderstanding. Doing this can also improve the relationship of the two people communicating. o Provide Well-Timed Responses Feedback is usually most effective when you offer it at the earliest opportunity, usually. However, if you’re arguing, you may want to delay the feedback. To provide feedback about a relationship, you both want to agree on the place and time where you both feel relaxed so that you can discuss the situation.o Provide Usable Information When you provide information to someone, be certain that it is useful and relevant.o Appropriately adapt your responses It’s important to adapt not only the timing of your responses, but also thecontent of your message Communication Accommodation Theory- theory that all people adapt their behavior to others to some extent- How to Improve Empathic Responding Skillso Don’t Interrupt Allow the other person to talk it out and make their point.o Paraphrase Emotions Check that you accurately understand how the other person is feeling by paraphrasing what you have heard through active listening. This allows you and the other person to focus on the issues on hand.  Do Not sure paraphrasing skills if you aren’t able to be open and accepting, if you do not trust the other person to find his or her own solution, if you are using these skills as a way of hiding yourself from another, or if you feel pressured, hassled, or tired. o Provide Helpful Social Support Social Support- expression of empathy and concern for others that is communicated while listening to them and offering positive and encouraging words Just by listening and empathizing, you can help ease the pain and help the person manage the burden Don’t immediately offer advice. Giving social support entails providing messages that help the person seek his or her own solution.- Improving Your Confirmation Skillso Confirming response- statement that causes another person to value himself or herself more. You can do this in six ways: Direct acknowledgment- responding directly to something another person says to you, you are acknowledging not only the statement, but also that the person is worth responding to Agreement About Judgments- confirms someone’s evaluation of something you are also affirming that person’s sense of taste and judgment Supportive Response- when you express reassurance and understanding, you are confirming a person’s right to his or her feelings Clarifying Response- when you seek greater understanding of another person’s message, you are confirming that he or she is worth you time and trouble. Also encourages the other person to talk in order to explore his or her feelings Expression of Positive Feeling- we feel confirmed or valued when someone else agrees with out expression of joy or excitement Compliment- when you tell people you like what they have done or said, what they are wearing, or how they look, you are confirming their sense of wortho Disconfirming response- statement that causes another person to value himself or herself less. You can do this in seven ways Impervious Response- when a person fails to acknowledge your statement or attempt to communicate, even though you know he or she heard you, you may feel a sense of awkwardness or embarrassment. Interrupting Response- Interrupting another person is one of the most corrosive, disconfirming response you can make Irrelevant Response- an irrelevant response is one that has nothing at all to do with what you were saying. Chances are your partner is not listening to you at all Tangential Response- a response that acknowledges you, but that is only minimally related to what you are talking about.  Impersonal Response- a response that intellectualizes and uses the