COMM 315 1st Edition Lecture 17 Outline of Last Lecture I. Interpersonal Relationships DefinedII. Relational EscalationIII. Genesis of Interpersonal Relationship: AttractionIV. Stages of Interpersonal Relationship DevelopmentOutline of Current Lecture I. Stages of Interpersonal Relationship Development (cont.)II. Theories of Interpersonal Relationship DevelopmentIII. Developing Your SkillsCurrent Lecture- Stages of Interpersonal Relationship Development (cont.)o Principles Underlying Relational Stages  You can choose to remain in a given relational stage- Based on finding the stage where we are most comfortable in the relationship. - In order to stay at a given stage we engage in relational maintenance strategies- behaviors that maintain the same level of closeness Speed of progressing through the stages varies- The amount of time you spend sharing information with someone can be concentrated in a few days or extended over a few years Changes in relationships are signaled- Turning points- specific event or interaction associated with a positive or negative change (first date or saying “I love you”)- Causal turning point- event that brings about a change in a relationship (because the event caused a change in the relationship, it is a causal turning point)- Reflective turning point- event that signals a change in the way a relationship is defined (receiving and accepting an invitation to visit a friend’s family for the first time doesn’t cause a change in These notes represent a detailed interpretation of the professor’s lecture. GradeBuddy is best used as a supplement to your own notes, not as a substitute.the relationship, but it reflects a change in how you and your friend perceive the relationship.) Change occurs within each stage- Lots of relational qualities increase within a given stage (trust grows, closeness increases, and commitment develops) Change occurs between stages- During transitional periods, your relationship has qualities of both stages, slowly increasing the characteristics of the next stage. Movement through the stages can be forward or backward- While some relationships do proceed in a linear escalating manner, they more often go through periods of becoming closer the then becoming less close. Relational development involves negotiating change- Movement to another stage involves implicitly or explicitly negotiating he definition of the relationship, the roles, and the expectations.- Theories of Interpersonal Relationship Developmento Filtering- process of reducing the number of partners at each stage of relational development by applying selection criteriao Social Exchange Theory- theory that claims people make relationship decisions by assessing and comparing the costs and rewards Rewards and costs affect our decisions to escalate, maintain, or terminatea relationship. Immediate and forecasted rewards and costs- Immediate rewards and costs- rewards and costs that are associated with a relationship at the present moment- Forecasted rewards and costs- rewards and costs that an individual assumes will occur, based on projection and prediction Cumulative rewards and costs- total rewards and costs accrued during a relationship Expected rewards and costs- expectation of how much reward we shouldget from a given relationship in comparison to its costs Comparison to alternativeso Relational Dialects Theory- theory that views relational development as the management of tensions that are pulling us in two directions at the same time (connectedness-autonomy; predictability-novelty; openness-closedness) Identifying dialectical tensions- Connectedness vs. autonomyo We have both a desire to connect and be interdependent with others and a desire to remain autonomous and independent- Predictability vs. novelty (certainty vs. uncertainty)o Relationships that fall into routines may be comfortable, but they suffer from a need for freshness- Openness vs. closednesso We wish to disclose information to others and to have those we are attracted to disclose to us. However, we also value our privacy and feel a desire to hold back information Using dialectical tensions to explain relational movement- Movement in relationships can be seen as a shift that occurs because of more pull from one of the two forces in tension- Tensions are an inherent part of being in a relationship Coping with dialectical tensions- You might give up your free time and ignore you feelings (denial) or wallow and flounder in uncertainty about what to do (disorientation). Neither is particularly healthy because the tension continues to eat at you. - You could become more involved but agree that every other Saturday you get to hang out with your friends (cyclic alteration), or negotiate for occasional solo weekend activities (segmentation)- You and your partner might reach an understanding that you will become closer, yet still appreciate that you are separate individuals and have your own lives outside the relationship (recalibration). It becomes part of accepting each other more completely (refraining)o Self-disclosure and social penetration theory Social penetration theory- theory of relational development that posits that increases in intimacy are connected to increases in self disclosure Understanding the social penetration model- Social penetration model- a model of the self that reflects both the breadth and the depth of information that can potentially be disclosed.o Breadth- the various pieces of self, like hobbies, beliefs, family, school, and fears that can be potentially disclosed.o Depth- how personal or intimate the information is that might be disclosed Enhancing intimacy by self-disclosing over time- Typically, a large amount of low risk self disclosure takes place in the early stages of relational development, and that amount decreases as the relationship becomes more and more intimate. - As the amount of disclosure decreases, the intimacy (depth) of our disclosures, which are limited initially, increases as the relationship escalates- but that too eventually decreases after we have shared most of our intimate information- Even long-term relationship can experience dramatic increases and decreases in disclosure.- Interpersonal relationship can’t achieve intimacy without self disclosure Characteristics of self disclosure- Self disclosure usually occurs in small