Quiz 4 Chapter 10 approximately 10 questions Attachment styles See class notes too and the airport study and Ainsworth s strange situation All infants form an attachment to their caregivers and their interactions with their caregivers become the foundation for the infant s expectation about the self and relationships with others Strange Situation the sudden departure of a caregiver followed by an equally sudden reappearance Secure Attachment infants have caregivers who are involved with them respond to their needs and interact with them in positive ways makes the infant feel good about themselves trust their caregiver and not fear abandonment o Strange Situation show mild distress when the caregiver leaves but experience and display positive emotions when she returns Anxious Attachment infants have caregivers who are either inconsistent or overbearing in their affection and in their responses to the infant s needs o Strange Situation become inconsolable when the caregiver departs and their distress persists beyond the reunion Avoidant Attachment infants have caregivers who are distant emotionally aloof and feel uncomfortable about physical closeness o Strange Situation may or may not become distressed at the caregiver s departure and do not seek closeness with her when she returns Attachment styles acquired during infancy are fairly stable and persist into adulthood and the partner in a close relationship becomes the new attachment figure taking the place of the parents Secure low in avoidance and anxiety preoccupied low in avoidance and high in anxiety dismissive high in avoidance and low in anxiety fearful high in avoidance and high in anxiety Allan Lee s Love styles Primary Love Styles o Eros the passionate love often caused by strong attraction to the physical attributes of the other these people tend to think that finding the perfect mate is the most important thing in life o Storge a companionate love which develops out of friendship and interaction typical in low mobility societies because you stay in one place so you have limited options overt expressions of love and passion are rare in this style emphasis is on shared interests o Ludus a playful love mostly for the short term lacks a sense of falling in love and usually doesn t involve commitment either in time or exclusivity can be found among people who prefer to remain single Secondary Love Styles mixtures of primary styles o Mania mix of Eros and Ludus the kind of dependent and o Pragma mix of Storge and Ludus anchored in logic and possessive love characterized by obsessive preoccupation and intense jealousy require constant assurances of love but have no preference for any type of person practicality finding the compatible mate is primarily a practical problem that can be solved through effort and persistence tends to develop slowly and they avoid commitment and talk of the future until they re convinced they have found the one sexual compatibility is important look for mates by joining organizations o Agape mix of Eros and Storge form of love that is selfless giving and altruistic consider it a duty to respond to the needs of the other even if their love is not reciprocated least common form of love but New Testament considers it the ultimate form of love may be more typical of the love parents have for their children Stages of conflict in relationships Beginning Stages every conflict begins with a set of predisposing Middle Stages may want to avoid the conflict but if you do it will only conditions along with a specific initiating event get worse o Negative Affect Reciprocity viscous cycle of tit for tat exchanges of negative feelings which may lead to further escalation of the conflict most common among couple who are experiencing general dissatisfaction with their relationship o Solution depends on the attributions couples make for their problems placing blame on one s partner leads to further escalation but willingness to negotiate will lead to resolution Destructive abusing or threatening actively harms relationship ignoring partner or refusing to deal with problem harms relationship in more passive way can actively benefit hoping for improvement or being supportive can benefit in more passive way Constructive discussing problem or seeking counseling o 4 types of behavior o Destructive avoidance is likely to result in the termination of the relationship as is destructive engagement especially when both partners engage in this strategy 1st Intrapersonal Stage individual thinks a lot about his Termination Stage 2nd Dyadic Stage couple discusses problem and 3rd Social Stage couple brings the impending breakup to 2nd Intrapersonal Stage the now separated partners or her unhappiness in the relationship confronts the prospect of breaking up the attention of friends and family attempt to figure out what went wrong and how to get over the breakup o Constructive engagement is likely to result in negotiation communication in the service of a solution may resolve the conflict by agreeing to structural improvements that create more favorable conditions for the relationship Structural Improvements create more favorable conditions for relationship ex decide to spend more time with each other Integrative Agreement permits both partners to achieve their respective goals Compromise one that reduces the aspirations of both partners may be the best bet for a successful resolution The relationship between marriage and happiness Social psychology of Health Being married has been linked to happiness to such a degree that their Happy people may be more likely to get married than unhappy people but equation has become a fundamental truth married people aren t necessarily happier than their unmarried counterparts o Getting married may increase your happiness further but only to o On average veterans of married life are no happier in the years a small degree and for a short period of time after marriage than they were in the years before marriage Communal vs Exchange relationships Communal the kinds we have with out family our romantic partners and our close friends the giving and receiving of benefits is guided by different norms o Receiving a benefit does not come with an obligation to respond in kind and when close others respond in such a fashion we feel awkward relationships o Keep track of the other s needs more than in exchange Exchange the kinds we have with strangers and acquaintances o Giving a benefit comes with the