PSY 274 1st Edition Lecture 20Outline of Last Lecture I. Darren Brown’s HeistII. Social InfluenceIII. ObedienceIV. The Milgram ExperimentV. RoutesVI. AbilityVII. MotivationCurrent Lecture I. AttractionII. Noticeable direct rewards III. Subtle indirect rewardsIV. ProximityV. Evolutionary EvidenceVI. Learning evidenceVII. Halo effectCurrent Lecture:These notes represent a detailed interpretation of the professor’s lecture. GradeBuddy is best used as a supplement to your own notes, not as a substitute.- Attraction: The first big step toward a relationship is always interpersonal attraction (the desire to approach someone).o Not a guarantee that a relationship will develop, but rather an open door to the possibility.o Not talking about sexual attractionTo whom are we attracted: o Those whose presence is rewarding to us (Clore & Byrne, 1974) Noticeable direct rewards (they make me feel good about myself, they’re funny, they give me money) Subtle indirect rewards- “…it might not be too far-fetched [for] Dennis to gravitate toward cities such as Denver, careers such as dentistry, and romantic partners such as Denise” (Pelham et al., 2005, p. 106)we like people with proximity (festinger – guy from dissonance)o Proximity MIT student housing study – seeing them multiple times then made them like them more and they had more friends Training Academy of the Maryland State Police- people more likely to like people who had similar last names as themselves because they sat closer to eachother Why does matter?Proximity is rewarding: When others are nearby, it’s easy to enjoy whatever rewards they offer.Distance is costly: The expense and inconvenience of interacting with a distant partner make it more costly than a proximal one.= All things being equal, a partner is nearby has a big advantage over one who is far away.Proximity = familiarityMere exposure: repeated contact with someone usually liking for him or her. (experiment where people who went to the class more were liked more. Only works for previously neutral or positive attitudes) Proximity = Familiarity- Mere exposure: Repeated contact with someone usually increases our liking for him or her (Zajonc, 2001) Proximity = Similarity- Being around those who share our background, interests, and tastes is rewarding. (we have similar tastes or something in common)- MORE COUPLES ARE BASED ON SIMILARITIES NOT DIFFRENCESo Demographic similarity (Same age, social background, race)o Attitudes and valueso Personality (personality similar to us)= more to talk about At first meeting, leads to smoother interaction (Cuperman & Ickes, 2009) After time, tend to like each other more (Cuperman & Ickes, 2009)- Like attracts like (Fehr, 2008)- Do opposites attract? No.o There is nuance in how matching works: Mate Value Similarityo Physical attractiveness Computer Dance Study- Randomly assigned pairs- Only one factor predicted liking and intention to ask out again: Physical Attractiveness (this was shocking as the literature at the time only talked about similarty) What is attractive?- Evolutionary Evidenceo Men attracted to signs of fertility Young: baby faces with signs of maturity are attractive universally(for women)/ for men, less universal but for heterosexual women; it depends on where in their menstrual cycle they are; when they ovulating or fertile they like more masculine features, the rest of the month more feminized men faces are preferred)  Hourglass figure: easier birth and better babieso Women attracted to signals of statuso Cross-cultural research  Average of the species is attractive, rather than extremes Symmetry is attractive (the more we average together the bad things then the result loses these bad thing and suggests no genetic abnormalities)- Learning evidenceo Culture tells us what is attractiveo ***Halo effect: We assume those who are beautiful also have other good qualities (honest, sociable, kind) (what is beautiful is good) Self-fulfilling prophecy?  Impact on relationships- Similarity in physical attractiveness leads to:o Greater likelihood of getting marriedo Greater likelihood of staying married- Why?o Diet/environmento Predispositiono Empathyo More attracted to start with? Matching hypothesis- Close Relationshipso A relationship involving strong and frequent interdependence in many domains of life Interdependence – A situation in which each person’s thoughts, emotions, and behaviors influence those of other peopleo Beyond initial attraction, couples who share similar attitudes, values, and beliefs have happier marriageso As time goes by, members of a couple tend to share more similar attitudes (Gonzagaet al., 2010). Share compelling experiences Consciously seek similarityo Relationship formation Self-disclosure- Disclosing something about yourself such as life-facts, thoughts, and feelings makes others like you more- Reciprocity- Self-disclosure can go too far… those who disclose more than is appropriate for the closeness of a relationship are viewed negatively  Inclusion of the other in selfo Individual differences in relationships: People plan and approach their close relationships in unique ways – ways driven by their needs, personality, and goals. Gender- Seeking short term relationships: men more likely than women to agree to casual sex Attachment style: People’s ideas about what love and intimacy involve- Infanto Strange Situation Caregiver and child alone in room Child explores the room without parental participation Stranger enters the room  Stranger talks to caregiver Stranger approaches child Caregiver quietly leaves the room Caregiver returns and comforts child- Adult o The emotional bond that develops between adult romantic partners is partly a function of the same motivational system that gives rise to the emotional bond between infants and their caregivers: both feel safe when the other is nearby and responsive both engage in close, intimate, bodily contact both feel insecure when the other is inaccessible both share discoveries with one another both play with one another's facial features and exhibit a mutual fascination and preoccupation with one another both engage in "baby talk”o Styles I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it difficult to trust them completely, difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I