PSY 274 1st Edition Lecture 23 Outline of Last Lecture I. Attachment StyleII. Cradle to the GraveIII. Styles in AdulthoodIV. Cognitive maintenance mechanismsV. Cognitive interdependenceVI. Positive Illusions VII. Behavioral maintenance mechanismsVIII. Willingness to sacrificeIX. ForgivenessCurrent Lecture I. Cognitive maintenance mechanismsII. Cognitive interdependenceIII. Positive Illusions IV. Behavioral maintenance mechanismsV. Willingness to sacrificeVI. ForgivenessVII. AlternativesCurrent Lecture:Investment Model:Commitment: > good relationshipsAffective component- emotionThese notes represent a detailed interpretation of the professor’s lecture. GradeBuddy is best used as a supplement to your own notes, not as a substitute.Motivational component- want it to workCognitive component – in future they will be part of my lifefirst application of this model was used for women who had been physically abused SAT – satisfactionDeterminants: (need both)1. What outcomes are you receiving in the relationship? Good or bad2. What you expect to get?INV- investmentHow much you put in the relationship?Maybe you live together? Share tings? Have kids together?= morelikely to try to stay together ALT- alternativesWhat is your next best option if you weren’t in your current relationship? What else would you be doing?SN- subjective norms- what your friends and family want you to do weigthed by how much you care about what they want you to do about your relationship (you need both)- Cognitive maintenance mechanismsCognitive interdependence: Thinking of oneself as a part of their partner: thinking of urself as a unit; “we”o Greater self-other overlap – ‘their happiness is your happiness the more cognitive interdependence you have’ Greater plural pronoun usagePositive Illusions: Perceiving one’s relationship in the best possible light Partners faults are trivial Relationship deficiencies are unimportant Partners misbehavior is a temporary aberrationWe do this to keep confident that we are depending on them so muchBehavioral maintenance mechanismso Willingness to sacrifice: Tendency to forego immediate self-interests to promote the well-being of the partner and the relationship Passive: foregoing behaviors that would otherwise be pleasurable Active: enacting behaviors that would otherwise not be pleasurable Minor and transitory vs. Major and long-lastingo Forgiveness Betrayal causes indignation and hostile behavioral tendencies. (if it breaks ur expectations, it is going to cause these things) (system 1; want to make them feel the pain you did) Forgiveness is the process of overriding those tendencies(system 2; forgive and think of a better option) - Complete forgiveness: resumption of pre-betrayal patterns of interaction Less cognitively taxing to forgive than to carry a grudge= better outcomes for self after forgiveness usually.- Doormat effect: most of time you feel better when you forgive; this is only true when they are genuinely sorry and they feel as bad about it as you. If they don’t engage in strong amends(so not being really sorry) then you feel worse about forgiving them. You will believe this will happen againo Alternativeso Investements (both plus more tell commitment ; clicker question)TED Talk shown in
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