COMM 1000 1nd Edition Lecture 9 Outline of Last Lecture I. Interpersonal CommunicationA. NormsB. RulesC. RolesII. Role ConflictIII. Interpersonal RelationshipsIV. Self-DisclosureA. Reciprocity and TrustB. Reasons for RevealingC. Reasons for ConcealmentD. AppropriatenessV. AttachmentA. Children’s Attachment StylesVI. MarriageVII. Marital StylesA. TraditionalsB. IndependentsC. SeparatesOutline of Current Lecture These notes represent a detailed interpretation of the professor’s lecture. GradeBuddy is best used as a supplement to your own notes, not as a substitute.VIII. Dialectical PerspectiveA. Autonomy vs. ConnectionB. Certainty vs. Uncertaintya. Psychological Trustb. Behavioral TrustC. Openness vs. ClosenessIX. Love StylesX. DominanceXI. Dominance in a RelationshipXII. PowerXIII. Proximity and Geographic ClosenessXIV.Proximity: Dating and WorkXV. AttractionXVI. Similarity Attracts, Not OppositesCurrent LectureDialectical Perspective:- Sets of opposing or contradictory impulses that create tension between two people.- Assumptions:o Contradiction is inherent in social lifeo These conflicts drive change and vitalityo There is dialectical change- Researchers study the effects of these dialectics on relational satisfaction- 3 main types:o Autonomy vs Connectiono Certainty vs Uncertaintyo Openness vs ClosenessAutonomy vs. Connection:- Independence vs. Interdependenceo Want to be connected with others, yet want to be autonomous.- One of the most powerful dialectics.- These needs are dynamic and frequently shifting.o Progression as you get oldero Want independence from your parentso If something bad or even exciting happens you want to be around people- Also tend to vary among individualso Negotiate to find something that is good for two peopleCertainty vs. Uncertainty:- We like predictability, but we also crave excitement.o Knowing that you’ll “be there” for me but alsoo Craving excitement. Things can get “too predictable” but too much chaos is also not comfortable.- Psychological trust—knowing how/what you think or- Behavioral trust—knowing how you’d actOpenness vs Closeness:- Openness is akin to sharing- How much we share is a dialectic- Dialectic scholars argue that true self-disclosure is relatively infrequent… “small talk” just for talks sake is also relationally significant.- How does this contrast with other theories in other windows?Love Styles:- Eros- Ludus- Storge- Pragma- Mania- AgapeDominance:- Need for control OVER others- In dyads, one often has more dominance than the other, but not always- Can coexist with affiliationDominance/Affiliation:High AffiliationLowDominanceAgreeAssistCooperateAdviseDirectLeadHighDominanceConcedeEvadeWithdrawAnalyzeCriticizeJudgeLow AffiliationDominance in a relationship:- Can be complementary-one up, one down- Symmetrical-both up or both down- Parallel-combination, varies by topicPower:- Unlike dominance- Power is GIVEN to you by others- Can’t get power unless others allow you to have it- EXAMPLE: “Do what I want, or I’m leaving”—dominance or power?o Dominance until someone gives in and they are giving powerChapter 8-Proximity and Geographic Closeness:- One is significantly more likely to marry someone geographically close - Explanations for proximity effect include:o If we know we will be physically close, we overlook the other’s less desirable traitso Opportunities for communication are greatero Familiarity in itself may increase liking- A number of factors associated with liking and romantic loveo Reciprocal likingo Desirability of other Attractiveness Power statuso Similarityo Exposure/social appropriatenesso Reciprocal liking and desirability may be most importantProximity: Dating and Work:- With respect to dating and worko (1) 35% of US adults have fantasized about a co workero (7) 16% of US men and 7% of US women reported having sex in the officeAttraction:- Birds of a feather flock together-similarity attract (definitely proven in research)- Dinosaurs of a different scale herd collected-opposites attractSimilarity Attracts, Not Opposites:- Assertive, mating, age, ethnic background, race, religion, socioeconomic status, and education- Psychological charactero Attitudeso Opinionso Worldviewso Verbal abilities- Tend to have similar levels of physical attractiveness and similar preferences in mates- Importance of attractiveness has increased in both males and females; it used to be more important for men- Mutual attraction and love is important for both sexes- Similarity attracts in non-romantic relationships also we like people who are like us, we dislike people who are different- Given enough knowledge, it is possible to predict who will become friends- Attraction paradigm- research suggests that if we think we are alike, our opinions will converge- We are more attracted to the other if we think we are alike- Perception elements lead us to overemphasize similarity and differences- Increasing numbers of interracial/interethnic couples in the US may indicate similarity in race/ethnicity may not be as important as they