COMM 1000 1nd Edition Lecture 8 Outline of Last Lecture I. Conversational StructureA. Floor OneB. Floor TwoII. Gender Linked Language EffectIII. Feminist PerspectiveIV. MetacommunicationV. Nonverbal CommunicationA. ParalanguageB. ObjecticsC. ProxemicsD. Hall’s ProxemicsE. OrientationF. HapticsG. KinesicsOutline of Current LectureVI. Interpersonal CommunicationA. NormsB. RulesC. RolesThese notes represent a detailed interpretation of the professor’s lecture. GradeBuddy is best used as a supplement to your own notes, not as a substitute.VII. Role ConflictVIII. Interpersonal RelationshipsIX. Self-DisclosureA. Reciprocity and TrustB. Reasons for RevealingC. Reasons for ConcealmentD. AppropriatenessX. AttachmentA. Children’s Attachment StylesXI. MarriageXII. Marital StylesA. TraditionalsB. IndependentsC. SeparatesCurrent LectureChapter 9: Interpersonal Communication-Defining interpersonal communication:- Communication that occurs between at least two interdependent partiesNorms and Roles:- Governed by ruleso Norms o Roles Relational Norms:- Norms- Guidelines that limit and direct behavior (Dyadic Rules)o Only have sexual relations with one person (most of the time)- Most relationships have specific norms o Norms changed based on things that happens in the relationship Ex. You stay out late and your partner says they don’t like it- Norms show what is important in relationshipo How often you see each other- Norms become more specified in longer relationships and in marriageso We decide what we really wantRelational Rules:- Expectedo How you SHOULD play a role How you are expected to act- Enactedo How you ACTUALLY play a roleRelational Roles:- Roles- set of behaviors that apply to a subclass- Such as father, husband, instructor, supervisor- Give predictability to relationshipRole Conflict:- When roles conflict- Inter-role conflict-two roles entail contradictory expectationso You are someone’s tutor and also their friendo You have to tutor your friend and these roles may conflict with one another- Intra-role conflict-contradictory expectations from one roleo As a person’s romantic partner, you want to be casual, they want to be seriouso You can’t decide how you want to play your role based on different expectationsInterpersonal Relationships:- Relational satisfaction – Disclosure (expose things about yourself)- Self-disclosureo Intentionalo Crucial to developing intimacy (closeness, not necessarily romantic)o Johari window:Self-Disclosure:- Reciprocity and Trusto The dyadic effect (VanLear-cycling) Different cycles in relationship Different levels of disclosure in a long relationshipo Someone discloses something about themselves and you feel you should disclose something about yourself- Reasons for revealingo Clarity  You want people to understand youo Emotion expression,  To vent about how you are feelingo Impressions Disclosing different things people form impressions (especially negative things)- Reasons for concealmento Riskso At the beginning of a relationship you don’t disclose negative things about yourself because people remember those more easily- Appropriateness (avoiding TMI-Too much information)o Sometimes people don’t really want/need to know some things about yourselfAttachment:- Attachment is an innate need- Internal working models (self & other)- Attachment styles are coherent patterns of emotion and social behavior that occur in close relationshipsChildren’s Attachment Styles:- Secure: around 70% of children (positive models of self and others)o Trusted primary caretakers and others- Avoidant: around 20% of children (negative models of others)o Did not trust/have faith in parents- Anxious-Ambivalent: around 10% of children (negative models of self)o Unsure about themselves, low self-esteemDistinguishing Features of Children’s Attachment Styles:Secure Avoidant Anxious AmbivalentFree to explore the environment?Yes No Yes and noAnxious around strangers?A little No A lotReaction to separation?Upset, then calm Little reaction Very anxiousReaction to reunion? Happy Little reaction Ambivalent(relief/anger)Caregiver Communication Patterns:- Secure: “goodness of fit” in terms of stimulation, responsive to basic needs, consistently caring- Avoidant: over- or under stimulated, sometimes neglectedo Will have low self-esteem or will have no faith in their parentso Learn the art of self-reliance- Anxious-Ambivalent: inconsistent response patterns, parent is preoccupied or stressedo Alcoholics or drug problems- you don’t know how to respond or which emotions to elicit o Caregivers patterns with a different attachment styleAdult Attachment Styles:Marriage:- Swear it’s forever & exclusiveo Yet it is the least likely relationship to be forever and exclusive (McGoldrick)- Marital Styleso Not all marriages are equal in enactmentMarital Styles:- Traditionals:o Traditional attitudes towards marriageo Interdependent use of time and spaceo Moderate conflict—about “big” stuff Deal well with small stuffo Report most satisfaction of the types- Independents:noyes and nonoa lotlittle reactionvery anxiousPositive Model of OthersSecure(I’m okay, you’re okay)Preoccupied(I’m not okay,you’re okay)Dismissive(I’m okay, you’re not okay)Fearful(I’m not okay,you’re not okay)Positive model ofself esteemNegative model ofself esteem Negative Model of Otherso Nontraditional attitudes about relso Independent use of time and space Value their independence o Open and assertive conflict style – more than traditionals You just need to say everything how it is because you might not always see the person and you don’t want it to pile up- Separates:o Traditional attitudes about marriageo Independent use of time and spaceo Low conflict but high negativity They don’t talk very much so they don’t really know much about one anothero Least satisfied of the