Psychology 137C02-28-12Week 8 Lecture 14Stress – another way of looking at social learning- In a relationship, stress is a test and teaches us if we want or should stick around in a relationshipRelationships in ContextChapter 11*Paper grades will be available early next week at the latestWorking Models that we’ll explore in today’s lecture:- Social Ecology Model- Attachment Theory- Process of Learning in relationshipso Models of Coercion – we engage in behaviors that increase or decreasethe likelihood that our partners will behave in a particular wayWhy Examine Intimacy in Context?- Relationships matter more under stress, but function more poorly because of it. o We want to turn to someone for sympathy, support, compassion etc when we are in needo We ask more and need more from our relationships when we are under stress Physical Symptoms of Stress [graph]- These slides come from the APA stress in America project: http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/key-findings.pdf- Irritability or Angero 2007 – 50%o 2008 – 60%o 2009 – 45%o 2010 – 45%- Fatigueo 2007 – 51%o 2008 – 53%o 2009 – 43%o 2010 = 41%- Lack of interest, motivation or energyo 2007 – 45%o 2008 – 49%o 2009 – 40%o 2010 – 38%- Feeling nervous or anxiouso 2007 – 45%o 2008 – 49%o 2009 – 35%o 2010 – 36%- Headacheo 2007 – 44%o 2008 – 47%o 2009 – 34%o 2010 – 36%- Feeling depressed or sado 2008 – 48%o 2009 – 34%o 2010 – 34% Stress Management [Graph]- Listen to musico 2009 – 49%o 2010 – 39%- Exercise or walko 2008 – 47%o 2009 – 44%o 2010 - 44%- Spend time with friends or familyo 2008 – 47%o 2009 – 36%o 2010 – 46%- Reado 2008 – 44%o 2009 – 41%o 2010 – 45%- Watch television or movie with more than 2 hours per dayo 2008 – 41%o 2009 -36%o 2010 – 48%- Prayo 2008 – 36%o 2009 – 32%o 2010 – 37%- Makes sense that we would turn to partner; where as 69% of us say it is extremely important to manage stress well, only 32% say they are succeeding. Causes of Stress [Graph]- Moneyo 2007 – 73%o 2008 – 72%o 2009 – 71%o 2010 – 76%- Worko 2007 – 74% o 2008 – 66%o 2009 – 70%o 2010 – 70%- The economyo 2007 –69%o 2008 – 68%o 2009 – 69%o 2010 – 70%- Family responsibilitieso 2007 – 60%o 2008 – 58%o 2009 – 55%o 2010 – 58%- Relationships (spouse, kids, girl/boyfriend)o 2008 – 59%o 2009 – 51%o 2010 – 55%- Personal health concernso 2007 – 55%o 2008 – 54%o 2009 – 47%o 2010 – 52%“You got a monkey on your back? I got three monkeys”- Often people will talk to their partner and compete with one another about who had the worst way.- If you have the worst day, it is assumed that you need more attention, etc Otherwise identical relationships will function differently depending o the niches or context in which they unfold.o You and your partner will fall in a certain niche depending on your circumstances.o Identical relationships will function differently depending on their niches‘Contexts and niches’ refer to the developmental transitions, situations, incidents, and chron9ic and acute circumstances that spouses and couples encounter. - Ex: death, other stressors- You learn a lot as a wayStress Creates Big Problems for Couples [p. 458 in textbook]- Debt brought into marriage- Balancing job and marriage- In Lawso How do we have a good relationship with each others families?- Financial Decisions- It doesn’t have to but it often does- Lots of different kinds of stresses, more on this in Ch. 11“Over the long haul, it’s been a long haul”- Both partners are relaxed, smiling and taking pride in this- When you’re older, you take pride in not just having a good life but also the ability to manage and negotiate a lot of the stresses that life throws at youSame as Figure 11.2- Every layer contains stressor and resources.- Proximal and distal factors affect couples- Proximal forces (e.g. time together) are shaped by distal factors (work, demands, economies). - Distal influences (e.g. legalization of gay marriage) operate through proximal factors (e.g., better health insurance for gay couples). - The work of Bronfenbrenner- ***Might see question(s) in the exam in regards to the definitions of mesosystem, microsystem, and macrosystem- Each layer has the potential to make our lives better or worseo How do we make them more or less beneficial?“If, as adults, we can lay claim to competence and compassion, it only means that other human beings have been willing and enabled to commit their competence and compassion to us -- through infancy, childhood, and adolescence, right up to this very moment.”- Key word – enabled- Our ability to manage relationships and/or to take care of an ailing parent is going to test us emotionallyChronic circumstances vs. acute events- Poverty v. robberyo Poverty is chronic; robbery is acute- When chronic stress is very high, acute stress is far more consequentialControllable-Predictable Influence vs. Uncontrollable-Unpredictable influences- Arrival of a child v. arrival of a low birth weight child (controlled, uncontrolled)- Both disrupt our equilibrium- Uncontrolled-Unpredictable Influences most burden a relationshipDirect effects on one vs. on both partners - Death of a parent v. death of a childGraph (Various stresses)- Sharp increase in workload- Overextended on credit.- Sibling’s spouse died.- Friend/relative moved awayGraph (Various stresses)- Unexpected major expenses.- Overextended on credit.- W treated for drug abuse- W convicted of a crime30DAYS –Morgan Spurlock- Showcases the stresses and effects that a family who is struggling financially endure- Mom “Can I remind you that I’ve been walking to work each day to save money..”…Mom criticizes the fact that the dad just paid for treats for their kids- Kids leave home and the family realizes how much they spend on their kids- Stress when and where we are able to talk to each othero The couple in the video frequently disagree in public, which publicly discloses their problems - Conversations become shorterHow do Stresses and Contexts Get Inside Our Relationships? By Affecting…- What we talk about with our partner- When we talk to our partner- Where we talk to our partner- How we talk to our partner- The resources we have for resolving our problemsTypes of Stressors- Acute stress can ‘spill