Psychology 137C Week 3 Lecture 5 01-24-12*guest lecturer: Benjamin Karney (also co-author of textbook Intimate Relationships)Three Questions- Why do we like other people?- Why are we romantically attracted to other people?o Separate question that goes above and beyond the 1st question- How do we form intimate relationships with other people?- All complicated questionsThe Reward Theory of Liking- We like people who are likely to reward us (general answer to the 3questions above)- Reward Theory of Attraction (very old theory)- Ability to reward us: o Proximity/familiarity In other words, I need to meet you and be close to you in order to like you Geography is the number one indicator that you will be in a relationship with a person, ex: if you never visit China, the chances that you will marry a Chinese person are very slim How often you see someone also impacts the likelihood of a relationship and how likely you are to like a person The closer someone is to you, the more likely you like them Proximity also impacts how much you dislike someone Familiarity: If people are around us, they are likely to be familiar or known to us. We have a tendency to like familiar things vs. unfamiliar things Chinese pictograph study-sample of peoples who are not familiar with the Chinese, task: watch slides flashing on the screen and answer (how much you like these pictographs)- Some slides repeated several times- People reliably preferred to the pictographs that were exposed the most number of timeso Personality/pratfall effect Personality is one big issue, some personality traits are more rewarding than others Norman Anderson’s study (1968) created a list of several adjectives that describe people (funny, boring, humble, etc). He distributed the lists and had people rate these personality traits Top trait – trustworthy and synonyms of trustworthy (sincere, honest, etc) because you can rely on that person Least favorite trait – liar (essentially the antonym of trustworthy) If you have negative traits, it is not rewarding to be around you and vice versa Catch to personality trait theory: someone with too many positive traits might be a little more intimidating  Pratfall effect: tendency to be attracted to people who are genuinely rewarding with a few enduring unfavorable qualities more than people who are 100% perfecto Similarity/phantom other technique Similarity – it is nice to be with people who are like you, it is also very convenient and validating- It’s convenient because it’s likely that there won’t lots of conflict since the two partners are similar Phantom Other Technique – researchers used this- Asked you how much you like another person and of course there wasn’t another person (made up the person)o Participants in the lab, list their favorite values and attend the lab thinking they are about to meet this ideal persono Vice versa the other person (made up person) has done the same (not really though of course)o The other person’s list is manipulated so that thetwo individuals are similar in papero Lab participant asked how much they think they’ll like the other person: the more similarities, the more they like that person*Similarities is beneficial with values & attitudes and bad when regarding personalities*Complementary qualities are what is truly significant*Couples divide up roles, divisions of labor, because of convenience for some couples- Motivation to reward us:o Reciprocity Good feeling + validating when you feel like someone will do nice things for you Experiment (2) conditions: 1) everytime you are being discussed, the person likes you and has positive things to say, 2) you are being discussed negatively- 2 other conditions: person likes you at first, then dislikes you the more time they spend with you and the other condition involves the opposite (they like you more the more time they spend with you)o The importance of discriminationFrom Like to “Really Like”- What’s the first and easiest thing you can notice about a potential partner?o Physical attractiveness - How much does physical attractiveness matter?o The computer dating studies: psychologists lied and got a freshman class to fill out a survey about their interests, backgrounds, GPAs, values, and everything else. They also took headshots and had people rate them. At a dance, the freshman were matched up and were asked: do you want to date this person againo Number one predictor of romantic interests: physical look, no #2 indicator, people only cared about physical appearance- The matching hypothesis: people send notes/try to attract to people in their league and who are little more attractive than they are, ex: Brad and Angelinas of the world match up- Why is physical attractiveness so powerful?o When wives are less attractive than the husband, it was problematic tothe coupleo It is powerful because we tend to associate attractive people with other good qualities that are in fact logically unrelated to attractiveness Reward Theory Revisited- Are we ever attracted to people who don’t reward us?- Why does this ever happen?From Attraction to Relationship - Do our preferences predict our mating behavior?o The Speed Dating Studyo Social psychologists did a speed dating studyo People rated physical appearance, earning potential and good personality, then had everyone talk to everyone for 4minutes, and then the participants rated each othero Study outcome-what people said they were looking for in a partner, did not predict who they wanted to go out with after speaking with 10 people in a roomo The Twin Studyo Identical twins are more similar than fraternal twins in clothing styles, hobbies, habits, food preferenceso The spouses of the identical twins were studied, the spouses were not more similar than the spouses of fraternal twinso Difference: When you choose a couch, the couch does not have to choose you back; however, a spouse has to choose you back In the speed dating study, behavior is significant, when you meet someone. It’s not about how that person fits on your list of ideal qualities. The behavior of that person is more significant - Why is starting a relationship different from choosing furniture?- The most rewarding thing is winning someone over- Romantic attraction comes from the feeling that you finally have met someone who you are attracted, that sends you positive signals and