Psychology 137CWeek 2 Lecture 401/19/11*Midterm -Week 5 (Thurs)*Paper –due Week 6 (Thurs)*Final –Week 10 (Thurs)Male or Female?Gay or Straight- All of us are described by these two ‘binary’ factors.o We need to know how these two factors shape our intimate relationships- How do these two factors shape our intimate relationships?Are Men and Women Different … … In General?… In Intimate RelationshipsChapter 4“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. “ –Albert Einstein (not a relationship expert) American Health Magazine (magazine)- Headline story: Give Your Marriage A Fighting Chanceo New research on the best ways to talk (And Fight!) With Your Spouseo There is a battle between men and women (Battle of the sexes) – commonly held ideao Arguments are all that common in relationships according to a diary study, but more important part is the assumption that without a mediator men and women would just argue all the time*Lecture continues on second page…We see differences in … Aggression: .66 Assertiveness: .49 Seeking beauty: .54 Casual sex: .81 Support-seeking: -.41 Tenderness: -1.07 Similarities outweigh differences, yet many small differences can add up to yield markedly different intimate psychologies for men and women. Gender can be measured pretty reliably, which means that we can do a lot of research on gender Ways of measuring how men and women are different/similar Meta-analysis: way of generating the mean level for men and women and then compare those means relative to the distribution of the scores that the entire samples provide Top graph: Men and women don’t differ in terms of Empathy (d value = 0) Very few women that are fundamentally ahead of men in… Men are more assertive, more likely to look for someone who is beauty (like Frank from the clip on 2/17 lecture), more likely to engage in casual sex  Women are more likely to seek for emotional support during stressful moments, more tender, gentler, softer d statistic – percentage of a standard deviation  Distributions overlap a lotExplaining the Differences:Nature and Evolutionary Prospective  Women orient toward others and seek protection. Men orient toward providing protection and being more sexually active. Why? Biologically, we are all here to send our genes into the next generation – and women and men play have evolved to play different roles in procreationand caregiving. Men and women invest differently in their offspringExplaining the Differences:Nurture, Socialization, and Context This might be a starting point for sex differences, but it overlooks the great capacities we all have for fulfilling a variety of social roles. With different expectations and socialization practices, sex differences would subside. E.g., men can be empathic and women can be great leaders, when given sufficient opportunities and incentives.  We have a biological capacity, an evolved capacity, to play specific procreating and child rearing roles We also have a developed capacity to be responsive to several circumstances in order to survive“On second thought – you hunt. I’ll gather.” You don’t want to have a society where ‘societal roles’ can really hinder someone from thriving regardless of their genderMen and Women both desire social connection but they meet it in different ways. Evidence?- Complexity of thought. Social sensitivity. Affairs. Dissolution- Women Orient Toward the Dyad- Men Orient Toward the Group- Women are more likely to engage in affairs for emotional reasons and to seek help for emotional problems in their relationships because they are more likely to see the problems- Men are more likely to have strictly-sexual affairs- Women are more likely to become depressed from interpersonal problems- Men are more likely to become depressed from work problems “I wish you’d open up to me. I need some ammunition.”- female - If a women criticized a man, a man is not thankful for the honesty and communication because it feels like an attack since men think of themselves as part of a hierarchy - Women process relationship stuff more deeply because they tend to think dyadically, men process hierarchal information ex: best baseball player, etc- In social interatctions, women’s heart rates go up following isolation, being ignored etc, while men’s heart rates go up following criticism “You forgot the launch codes.” (wife to husband)- For a man- tremendous insult- She (to the man) is essentially saying that ‘you’re a loser’ - Vice versa not insulting if said to the wifeo It would be insulting if he said ‘looks like you’re eating alone’Knocked up (film)- Tagline- What if This Guy Got You Pregnant?- Clip of film shown in class- How do men and women approach their social lives in different ways in the clip?“You must know again my reluctance to marry … In our life together I shall not hold you to any medieval code of faithfulness to me, nor shall I consider myselfbound to you similarly …. I may have to keep some place where I can go to be myself now and then, for I cannot guarantee to endure at all the confinements of even an attractive cage.” –Amelia Earheart (said to her husband)- Point- there’s a core and there’s plasticity - But that kernel, that biological idea of what it is to be male or female, does have plasticity meaning that there is a lot of room to fill in the gap with our own personalities, identities, aspirations and motivations Are Gay and Straight Relationships Similar or Different?Los Angeles Times article- “Psychologist testifies on ‘remarkable similarities’ of gay and straight couples”- “Letitia Peplau, an expert on couple relationships, testified that studies have found that the quality of heterosexual and homosexual relationships was on average “the same” as measured by closeness, love and stability.”- “On average, same-sex couples and heterosexual couples are indistinguishable,” said Peplau, a UCLA professor of social psychology called by attorneys for two same-sex couples who are trying to overturn Proposition 8, the 2008 voter initiative that reinstated a state ban on same-sex marriage”o Why there is no difference: relationships are about two people taking care of each other and one