Killing Us Softly- we watch 3000 ads every day; will spend 2 years of life watching just adsSexual Objectification: representing or treating a person like a sex object, one that serves another’s sexual pleasureMedia is increasingly sexualizedMany women are objectified or treated as objectsA woman’s body or body part is separated from the woman as a person. It is then used as an object for male sexual desire.Silencing- girls’ mouths are covered and they look quiet and passive. What they have to say doesn’t matter.Hooking UpCertain types of activity outside the context of a relationshipWhat is the point?Dating replaced by hooking up as the main campus scriptSexual contact first, relationship secondThis is the main way of initiating relationships.Does it mean sex?No, students defined it differently (freshman students in 2008)39.5% vaginal intercourse32.1% kiss, touch15.1% hand to genital11.7% oral sexWhat is a hookup?Physical encounter without expectations between two people who aren’t dating or in a serious relationshipNo relationship, do not expect anything furtherMostly happens after alcohol is consumedDouble standards?Men “studs”Female “sluts”Are men exaggerating experiences?YesMen- 6.1 median lifetime sexual partners; women 3.6More men also say they “hookup” in collegeMen are lying (exaggerating) and women are probably lying too (underestimating)Is the date dead?“dating”- when couples are already bf/gf“date”-much more rare (ongoing trend for the last couple of decades)What conditions led to hookup system?Large number of people in collegeHigh percentage of womenPostponement of marriage (men 29+;women 27+)Women’s movementWomen are more sexually openContraceptionLess consequencesLisa Wade- SociologistMost don’t do itAverage for graduating senior: 4-7 “hookups”25% of students will never hook up91% characterize campus by a hookup culture80% of students hookup less than once a semester, on averageMost people are doing it less than we thinkSexual activity hasn’t increased in recent decadesSatisfied? No1. Empowerment2. Pleasure3. Meaningful experienceFelt by both sexes, but felt more intensely by women (women were felt like sex toys; less satisfied by the pleasure)Women often deprioritize their own pleasureNo alternativeMost feel hookup culture impedes sex and relationships11% enjoy38% opted out50% do so “reluctantly”1% committed relationshipPositivesLearn a lot about themselvesClarify values/embrace sexualityLess distractingEmotionally saferDriven by women? –a romantic strategy? Elizabeth ArmstrongWomen work to avoid relationships to keep time with friends or studying“Men continue to hold most of the power as they did in the dating era”Men: prefer “hooking up”Women: prefer “dating”Women exploited (Elaine esbaugh 2010)After college?Past research: abandonment of hookup script (but will this continue?)Formal dating beginsMany people are opting out of getting married (decrease since 2008)Online DatingA lot of profiles include white lies, exaggerations1 in 5 couples meet onlineStigma?More popular today40 million Americans say they have used a dating site (40% of single population in America)TinderFastest growing free dating app in the USASean Rad, founder: 3.5 million matches per dayMostly based on physical appealWhat is a family?Social group that live together in common place. 2 or more people. They form an economic unit1. People live together with commitment2. Care for any children3. Share emotional tiesVary across cultures or change over time. There are similarities that remainFunctions of a family (functionalist paradigm)Regulating sexual behavior (regulating who you have sexual intercourse with, incest is taboo)ReproductionSocialization (values, beliefs, language)Social placement (based on parents, social class, how your life chances will change)Economic security (food, shelter, basic necessities)Emotional support (love care, friends may come or go but family will always be there)Types1. Extended family- several generations of blood relatives sharing one household; parents and children as well as other kin who share resources2. Nuclear- one or two parents and their children (preferred model; only 1/3 of the nation fits this model)MarriageReasons for getting married?Emotional support, commitment, companionship, it’s the normDo you want to marry?Among those who have never been married both men and women61% yes12% no27% not sure29% of people who had been divorced want to remarryEndogamy-marrying within one’s social category, same social class, same racial or ethnic background, same religion, usually around same ageExogamy- marrying outside one’s social category, may or may not be noticedMonogamy- unites two partnersSerial- getting in serious relationship getting married, getting divorced, and getting into another monogamous relationship and marriagePolygamy- unites a person with two or more spouses (common in Africa, Saudi Arabia)Polygyny- one man with two or more womenPolyandry- one women with two or more men (practiced by less than 1% of world society) found in Tanzania because of the shortage of womenRomantic LoveAffection and sexual passion toward another personUnited states “nation of lovers”We are in love with being in loveRomantic love motivates people to go out, get married, and be in loveRomantic love is less stable foundation for marriage and may be cause of higher divorce ratesSerial monogamy (can have several relationships one at a time)DivorceLegal process of dissolving a marriage43-46% of marriages end in divorceRose during the 20th century peaking in the 1980’sOn the decline nowCausesFeminist movementIndividualism- more concerned with own happinessRomantic love fadesWomen less dependent on men- women’s increase in labor force, less dependent on husband, you can support yourself financiallyMarriage is stressful- women and men are both workingSocially acceptable to get a divorce- doesn’t necessarily have social stigmaEasier to attain (no-fault divorce)In the past, you had to prove that one or both partners are abusive or committing adultery, now you can just state irreconcilable differences and it’s doneInfidelityMen in relationships admitting adultery: 57%; women 54%56% of men and 34% of women who had affairs claimed “happy” or “very happy” in marriagesHelen FisherWhy? Women: emotional reasons; men: sexual motivationsSinglehoodPeople choosing to live aloneIncreasing in US43% of residents