COMM 305 1st EditionTheories of Developing RelationshipsOutline of Last Lecture1. Key Theoretical Assumptions a. Ontology b. Epistemology c. Axiology2. Key Communication Assumptions a. Process b. Transactional c. Symbolic d. Social e. IntentionalOutline of Current Lecture1. Initiating and Developing Relationships2. Social Penetration Theory (SPT)3. SPT in Practice: Small Talka. Characteristics of Small Talkb. Paradox of Small Talkc. Importance of Small Talkd. Recommendations based on SPT4. Building on SPT: Relational Dialectics….Current LectureSocial Penetration Theory addresses why relationships develop. It is a story of why some relationships develop and others don’t. Relationships increase or decrease in intimacy or maintains some level of intimacy and stays at that level. It is called the onion. Intimacy is increasing as you move along. Begins talking about stages. It breaks down relationships into four stages. 1. Orientation We are cautious.COMM 305 1st Edition We follow scripts, and patterns. 2. Exploratory Affected Exchange Exploring We see more talk about emotional topics. We move away from scripted topics. 3. Affected Exchange Involves fully intimate relationships. People talk about anything. Nothing is off limits. 4. Stable exchange People that have been married for a long time. There is an openness or richness of an interaction. You understand each other really well. You talk about intimate topics and you know what the other person will have to say about it. You can finish each others sentences. Some relationships will level off. You may never go deeper than exploratory affected exchange. You talk about topics in more detail as you move along. You don’t jump around. You move step by step through each stage. Some cases there is love at first sight. You can talk about deep things right away. That is not thecase with social penetration theory. It says you may move quickly through stages. But you still go through the same stages.If you are breaking up with someone you will go back through the same stages. The primary communitive method is disclosure.Relationships develop by moving through these stages. We go from different stages through disclosure. Disclosure is the engine of social penetration theory.By telling more information about yourselves you can develop the intimacy. Disclosure operates by the principle of reciprocity. Social exchange - evaluate what you may and what you want to get out of a relationship. Tellingpeople more intimate things depends on what you want to get out of the relationship. You ex-change information because you think you’re coming out ahead in the social exchange. We compare it to a past relationships you have been in.COMM 305 1st EditionHow does our evidence reflect the theory?Sometimes theories are wrong.There is a difference in what does happen and what the theory says will happen.3. SPT in Practice: Small Talk a. Small Talk There is a particular kind of communication like small talk. Small talk is safe and scripted. It focuses on safe topics. The exchange of demographic information. It is typically safe in that it sticks to safe topics. Safety is useful in small talk. It minimizes your vulnerability. Safe topics let us have small talk without making us vulnerable to attack or revealing some-thing personal. They minimize the potential for disagreement. Small talk involves more breath than depth. You may talk about a lot of things but nothing in to much depth. If you went into a persons obsession about something it is not small talk anymore. In small talk you bounce off questions and answers. It is parallel. If I tell you something what you tell me will mimic what I told you. The beginnings and endings of small talk is scripted. It is ritualized. Closings are also scripted. The patterns are very recognizable we can joke about it. It is safe and scripted. It presents us with a paradox. b. Paradox of Small Talk We do small talk all the time. There are lots of synonyms for small talk because we do it so often. Study of Trivial Talk Small talk, sports talk, current events talk, weather talk Gossip, joking around, catching up, recapping the day Across relational types no matter what phase you are in you do small talk. About 2/3rds of the time you are in small talk. With acquaintance you have an equal amount of trivial talk. As you become better friends you still have trivial talk but the amount of trivial talk changes.COMM 305 1st EditionSmall talk is important because it is essential for relationship building. We use it to audition. Weuse it to find out if there is compatibility between us. We do it to prepare us for more intimate kind of talk. We use small talk to see if we want to be friends with this person. If you are good at small talk you can fit in, people will hire you, ect. Lonely people are said to not be good at small talk.Sometimes it doesn’t matter what you say but that you are there and are saying something. Phatic communication may be small. It doesn’t matter. What matters is talk for talk sake. Small talk in action. d. Recommendation based on SPT Sex in the City clip about Charlotte talking to much and giving to much information up front. Charlotte became to intimate to quickly. Increase topic intimacy gradually. We infer a lot about the other at the first few moments. Free Information Weather. Show interest in the other person. Verbal listening