Internal Dialectics(within the relationshipExternal Dialectics(between the relationship and the community)COMM 305 1st EditionTheories of Developing RelationshipsOutline of Last and Current Lectures1. Initiating and Developing Relationships2. Social Penetration Theory (SPT)3. SPT in Practice: Small Talk a. Characteristics of Small Talk b. Paradox of Small Talk c. Importance of Small Talk d. Recommendations based on SPT4. Building on SPT: Relational Dialectics….Current LectureShare the floor. Charlotte did not share the floor in our video clip. Share the floor Charlotte did not share the floor in our video clip. The person that doesn’t talk much was considered unintelligent. The person that does talk is considered likable, warm, ect. Share the floor. It is important to listen and talk. One is not more important than the other. We can try to make our rehearsals more effective. The odd moments stand out. They don’t fit what we normally do. SPT looks at what happens most of the time. There will be exceptions. Rational Actor Criticism. Sometimes we stay in relationships when there is not a good reason for irrational reasons. There are other reasons that go into if we will stay in a relationship or not.Sometimes it gives us to much credit. We are thinking about the relationships we choose to and don’t choose to develop. Maybe we aren’t making conscious choices often. Charlotte didn’t have to dwell on the choice if she should share information. She decided to runaway. It has been known to be too linear.We need a theory that addresses these problems. It is based on the impulse that relational dialectic theory was created. Social penetration theory has heuristic value which encourages the development of theory. It inspired relational dialectic theory. The point is not to explain what happens in general but to explain the messiness. The bell theory. Relational Dialectic Theories Relational Dialectic Theories tries to explain the messiness. It cases things as messy ongoing negotiations. Communicators have to somehow deal with dialectics. 2A Dialectics: The relationship is the tension Deals with inherit tensions. If you have a relationship you have these tensions. There is not a relationship without these tensions. By tensions they mean that in relationships there are competing ideals that are contradictory. This one is the cake model. It is about trying to have your cake and eat it to. Relationships are about contradicting ideas in the relationship. A dialectic is a way of describing these tensions or contradicting ideals. A dialectic is a pair of ideals that is contradicting in some ways. The patters we see are about people trying to deal with these existence. Relational dialectics goes farther. 1. The theory points out that dialectics aren’t resolved. You never stop negotiating these tensions. You are never done negotiating these tensions until there is no more relationship. 2. How the relationship is managed varies over time. It is not always negotiated in the same way. 3. The tensions are managed through communication. Disclosure is what moves a relationship through the levels. We manage relational dialectics through communication and through the choices we make and the conversations we have. Through praxis patterns communication is managed. 2B Internal and External Dialectics We manage dialectics that have to do with our eternal relationship as well as the relationship and the community the relationship is in. Internal Dialectics (within the relationship)COMM 305 1st Edition Connection-Autonomy Certainty-Uncertainty Openness-Closedness Connection-Autonomy Refers to the pole we experience between being a couple, a family, and also being an individual. In a relationship we feel the pull of being connected or dependent on that person. We want asense of connection. We also want to be ourselves and to be individuals. Social penetration theory says if a relationship is moving forward we need disclosure. We always need disclosure through SPT. Relational dialectics says this may be the most important because it stands for the rest. The Simpsons clip. The kids need to be able to count on Marge. Certainty-Uncertainty Openness-Closedness Sometimes we want to tell people things. Other times we don’t. Sometimes it is good to share more. Sometimes it is better for the relationship to share less. It is about being able to balance two ideals. Can the family find a healthy balance. How are people balancing the larger community? Internal Dialectics(within the relationshipExternal Dialectics (between the relationshipand the community)Connection-Autonomy Inclusion-SeclusionCertainty-Uncertainty Conventionality-UniquenessOpenness-Closedness